A newbie : Afraid to be rejected

cyrose

Member
You know,that feeling when you desire so much about such thing to happen. You got knowledge and passion but .. Still cannot stop worrying about what will happen next. I am a nurse by profession , a fresh one to be exact,but still dealing the world of social anxiety. I can't perform so well .I want to show everybody of what i can do but seems not so easy right now. :crying: Does anyone here can relate with me?
 
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zharl

Well-known member
I can't relate, mostly because I'm not quite sure what you said right now. Are you talking about not being recognized for your skills and achievements? Are you talking about a lack of acknowledgement in general?

Also, WELCOME! I'm sure I'll relate, once I wrap my mind around it. ^_^;
 

cyrose

Member
It's all about performance.. Despite of passion and knowledge.. I still lack confidence in social events.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
I almost went into nursing myself, but changed my mind because I wouldnt be able to deal with constant patient interaction.
 

cyrose

Member
In mycase i am okey with social interaction.. Only that when someone is watching over me and on what i am doing..i can't help myself but only to notice my hands are shaking so bad . it wasn't like this before ,i can't exactly figure out the reason . anyone have the same experience with me?
 

Megaten

Well-known member
I would hope not but I get the feeling I will have some similar experiences. I have to go to a clinical site for some on the job experience and Im going to be getting evaluated too. Last time this happened in a mock clinic, I was just trying to draw blood from a dummy with someone watching and I was so nervous I kept dropping things and almost stuck myself with the needle. It was also awkward that they wanted me to talk to the dummy and comfort it lol.
 

cyrose

Member
It also bothers you a lot when someone is watching you? I guess we share the same. Have u been depressed by this as well? Mine , was yes ! Totally depress but time heals and i just hold on to my faith that someday everything will be fine.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
I can perform some things that im really confident at, but patient interaction while being supervised bothers me. And yeah it was depressing, it made me feel like I wasnt cut out for this job, and I have to remind myself that there are things that I am good at. Im a bit nervous about going into the real clinic this Spring though. Not sure what to expect.
 
Hello cyrose,

I can't say anything about nursing, however when it comes to people watching what I do, or just staring at me for any reason, this is enough to destabilise me/ lose my focus. (Be it speaking in public, reading a book, or watching a movie).

I am not like that anymore, thankfully.
What helped me was to completely ignore my surroundings, this might seem both easy and very hard at the same time, but believe me, this is the way.

Some people might do that on purpose just to make you trip up, you have to be smarter than them : Don't pay attention to them, because it's in your interest.

You have to do some work on yourself to improve your focus. This is all it takes.

Good luck :)
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
About the anxiety when someone is watching you while you try to work, you're not alone in this. I think it's a pretty common symptom among people with anxiety. I have this problem myself. In fact sometimes I'm simply unable to solve a problem or formulate an answer to a slightly complex question if someone is waiting after me or looking over my shoulder. Don't even think about asking me to do math. I'll have to ask you to come back in 5 mins to allow me to use my brain without you watching me think.

Unfortulately I don't have much help to provide. All I can say is, the more you get used to do the task, the more natural it becomes and the easier it gets to do it while being watched. So if you can hold on until you get to that point, you'll be fine.
 

cyrose

Member
Hello cyrose,


What helped me was to completely ignore my surroundings, this might seem both easy and very hard at the same time, but believe me, this is the way.

Some people might do that on purpose just to make you trip up, you have to be smarter than them : Don't pay attention to them, because it's in your interest.

Thanks Jungle. You are right, people do that on purpose sometimes. It helps me when i think only on my interest ,focusing that i will survive such circumstance. But sometimes, it is hard especially when i am in front of my colleagues or let say professional people. Maybe i felt a bit of inferiority which i am trying to overcome now. I am exposing myself gradually . it's the passion that drives me to keep going.
 

cyrose

Member
@pacific loner - I knew it i am not alone. Lol. we are on the same track. Yeah, everything will be fine. Now, i just don't mind if everybody will notice my anxiety , but looking forward for those who could understand my situation. Those who can understand are true people,true friends, true professionals.
Let just keep fighting!!
 

fate12321

Well-known member
I've read that rejection is key to success. You have to get used to the fact that things won't always workout in your favor. The key is to never give up. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true.
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
I've read that rejection is key to success. You have to get used to the fact that things won't always workout in your favor. The key is to never give up. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true.

It is true BUT when 80%(or more) of your life is rejection/failure the brain just kind of starts giving up and depression sets in. I still say that a person needs to be thrown a bone every now and again to keep themselves going on.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
It is true BUT when 80%(or more) of your life is rejection/failure the brain just kind of starts giving up and depression sets in. I still say that a person needs to be thrown a bone every now and again to keep themselves going on.

Definitely agree there. You need a reason to keep going, aside from the persistence and determination to keep at it til you succeed. Otherwise, the constant rejection/failure will just demoralise you to the point where ya don't even bother to try anymore.
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Definitely agree there. You need a reason to keep going, aside from the persistence and determination to keep at it til you succeed. Otherwise, the constant rejection/failure will just demoralise you to the point where ya don't even bother to try anymore.

Yes, I think this is a topic that people need to discuss more. I can only assume that the reason it's not talked about is because most people receive enough positive results from their efforts.
The average person simply can't comprehend a 80% failure/rejection rate because they have never had to face it.
 

cyrose

Member
I also agree with you all. You don't know how i appreciated your comments in my thread. When i read them all, i felt being push further to try. I am now preparing myself for the upcoming training which i know more chances of failure and rejection will take place. But whatever happen, i should be brave enough to face and accept , and make them my motivations not to give up. Thank you everyone looking forward to talk with you more and to read more inspiring words from you .:)
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yes, I think this is a topic that people need to discuss more. I can only assume that the reason it's not talked about is because most people receive enough positive results from their efforts.
The average person simply can't comprehend a 80% failure/rejection rate because they have never had to face it.

Oh, definitely agree with you on that, Spartan.

And some are in denial, especially when it comes to the struggle and level of rejection faced by disabled people. And I don't mean that in wanky, virtue signaling, guilt-tripping SJW way. But just, like, how disabled folk tend to be overlooked when it comes to this topic.
 

cyrose

Member
How i wish other than physical problems or diseases ,SA awareness would be a part of awareness celebrations anywhere together with depression. Both aren't visible yet too fatal when given no attention. Can even ruin one's life in a glimpse.
 
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