NYC111

I was physically beaten in school from grade 6 to grade 11 on a regular basis. At one point, I was knocked out unconscious and left on the streets. I never fought back.

This kept on going for more than 5 years. One day, I got so sick and tired of it that I decided in my mind that the next person that physically bullies me will get hit back.

Few days later, I was in the gym class standing in line (no teachers were around). Someone slapped the back of my head. I turned around and there were three guys laughing. I didn't care which one of them hit me. I picked one of them and punched his face all my anger. Pretty soon, the three of them jumped me. I fought with everything that I had. However, eventually, they got me down to the ground.

My physical pain that day was temporary, but the fact that I stood up for myself still gives me hapiness 14 years later. After that, I was never physically bullied again, not even by kids who didn't know about the fight. I don't know what happened, but maybe I started walking around more confidently.

Time to time, the verbal bullying continued. However, it was different this time because I would look them straight in the eye like I was not effected. This sometimes would make the bully more mad or scare them away. No two bullies are the same. It didn't matter to me whether I made any bully mad because I was no longer willing to be intimidated and ready to fight at any given time.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't like fighting and I am not an angry guy looking to start any. However, given my past, I wouldn't be scared to.

GloomySunday

It pains me to admit, because I am essentially a peaceful person, but, like the song says, "sometimes you've got to fight to be a man..."

I was hassled at school on a regular basis by various people. I can vividly remember three separate occasions when I did fight back. They didn't know what hit them! Bullies and troublemakers never actually expect you to do anything, hence why they pick on certain people.

Of course, there are repercussions. They may come back and have another go at you the next day (usually because you've completely humiliated them) but that's usually the end of it.

Yes, a beating hurts, but so does doing nothing. Nothing hurts more than wounded pride or feeling like a coward. I remember feeling a lot better about myself after making a stand.

"Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless, dearest the shadows I live with are numberless..."

joeljjison

I did fight back at points, and there are plenty of pro's and cons to doing that.

On the upside (this was truer for me when i was younger), the feeling of revenge eclipses the feeling of worthlessness and weakness. Thing is with fighting a bully... it only works if you win. Most bullies seem to be cowards, so no matter how cowed you are by their intimidation tactics, if you hit them hard in the nose, they're going to be scared of you.

The downside.. maybe its just me but... you hurt a bully, they will come after you. With more people, or with more aggression, or by surprise... and in a fight i think its almost always the more aggressive one who wins.

Once you fight back, they're going to actually dislike/hate you, rather than hit you just because having a human punchbag is fun. Most of the time, like gloomysunday said, they won't know what hit them. Occasionally you have to be vigilant.

I don't think anyone should feel they have to fight back because they're a man, and i don't like some advice i see in here from time to time (rarely) like chin-up, fight back be man etcetera.

I agree with the advice fight back... but if thats not who you are thats okay. I don't think there is anything wrong with not fighting, unless you are abandoning somebody else.

I still have a lot of problems, but my time studying martial arts has helped a lot. We do physically hit each other, and i am used to seeing fists fly towards me, and I am more confident at throwing my fist forward than i used to be. There will be no more giving up before I've even fought when somebody bigger than me threatening me.

I don't want to be a victim anymore. And power gives you confidence. I highly recommend learning how to fight, and hoping never to need it.

Smokeringz

ive never been bullied by just one person, bullys dont do that. My best advice is to fight back with whatever you got and if you win you win if you dont you dont, its better than doing nothing beacuse if you can give a guy a bleeding nose or something chances are he will bother you less.

PreventionEducator

What happens when you fight fire with fire? You get a bigger fire.

I was bullied 3rd to 8th grade. I'm now a prevention educator and teach kids (6 week course) , teachers (2 hour presentation), and parents about bullying.

I don't think using violence to stop violence works, as it just repeats a circle of violence. Bullying is abuse. The bully taking power & control from someone- just as in domestic violence. No one deserves to be bullied. Adults need to respond when you go to them for help.

The phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is not true.

Write me if you have any questions, concerns, or comments. Peace.

Satine

I was always told not to fight back, otherwise I'd be creating a problem. That was my mum speaking. I still wish to this day that I'd fought back. And I don't necessarily agree with the point by the previous poster saying that fighting fire with fire makes a bigger fire. With the most determined bullies, perhaps, but not with all.

I suspect it's far more comfortable psychologically to fight back. At least you don't feel like a victim then. I am 26 now and wish I'd taken the opportunity to really pelt somebody when I didn't have to worry about getting into trouble with the law. Not to bully in return, just to show somebody I wasn't going to take it.

But then maybe this is a fundamental difference between male and female bullying: I'm female so the bullying was almost always psycological, not physical, like that described in some of the above posts.

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nephatitus

bullying for me is a must since i dont generally feel hate, but i must have some sort of external force like a bully to do it because i like feeling a deep rooted hate for that person. oddly enough thinking about hurting that person back to the point of tears feels soooooooo good especially on ways how to do it

ex: pushing their eyes into their sockets

Raelik

I have a strong compassion for this subject being that I was physically bullied several times by older and even younger guys (I'm a guy myself), throughout school. Never once did I fight back. Not one time. To this day I regret having not fought back to those that caused me pain in school.
I totally agree with the "nothing is the worst that can be done" part. I'm almost 27 now and it's been over ten years since I was bullied last. I know that it has affected me in my adult life by making me a much more aggressive person. I admit that. At first I didn't even realise I was arguing with relatives and even my girlfriends. I am thankful that I came to terms with it all and got myself a lot of help for the built up emotions that I had for about seven years. Through a psychologist and martial arts lessons I was able to get myself back again. Still a bit tainted by the past even with delayed help, I'm still recovering now to be honest.
My advice from personal experience (which is very similar to a few replies above) is to talk to someone you know that you can trust and confide in, explain what has and/or is going on. Get into some sort of self defence or martial arts lessons. If you can't afford to get lessons warm up you muscles with stretches and try to train yourself to throw punches and try out some kicks. Don't try too hard or go to fast too quick, you'll wear yourself down really quickly if your not used to it at best but probably you could hurt or injure yourself. This is foolish.

YOU MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NEVER START A FIGHT ONLY USE YOUR FISTS AND FEET AS DEFENCE!

I really do have confusion (I accept it however) about some extreme pacifists who would rather no fighting should be done in return of someone who is fighting someone. I am confused about they would rather be mentally handicapped for the remainder of their days through beating from a bully, or anyone else to be honest, who was just a bit stressed that day. How can you have a clear conscience after watching your best friend have the same thing done to them?

weak

Bullying isn't violence. Bullying is the taunting and intimidation of someone perceived as weak. If you're not willing to fight back, if you just sit there and take the abuse - this shows fear and is perceived as weakness. This is what will make you a target for bullying.

This is universal. If you get lost in the woods and come face to face with a grizzly bear, what is it that the experts suggest you should do? Slowly back up, but do not look away and do not break eye contact - because this shows fear and will trigger an attack. The exact same logic can be applied to situations involving bullies.

People will not **** with you if they feel that there will be physical consequences for their actions.

I wouldn't advise anyone to go around beating up all their enemies. Violence works as a solution but it doesn't have to reach that point. Use body language to mask your fear and to show that you're willing to fight back. That alone will often curb the abuse. It's all one big mind game.

ripewithdecay

My situation with bullying was a little different. I did have bully's approach me from time to time, of course, but I had two older siblings who were 'the tough kids' in previous generations at school, thus all I had to really do was mention my last name or my brother's first name and they would back down and -apologize-.
Pretty soon I had bullies coming up to me and saying things like "Hey man I know your brother. He's awesome, so if you ever need help with someone picking on you just let me know."
This however made me feel like a coward, since I felt I wasn't sticking up for myself in what should be my own battles. There were a LOT of kids around me who didn't have luxury of 24/7 security. But at the same time, I also felt like a coward because I didn't use that luxury to my advantage and stick up for those other kids when I watched them getting bullied.