A problem with cashiers

wise_wind

Well-known member
Hi Guys,

I would like to discuss a problem which I always face when dealing with cashiers.

I avoid looking at the cashier for the whole time. Cos it makes me feel nervous and anxious. So, I normally look elsewhere. Also, I'll always look at the money when handing over the cash to the cashier. Is it ok to not look at the cashier when handing over money?

Will the cashier think I'm abnormal because I avoid looking at him/her?
 
Yes, it is ok to not look at the cashier, you wouldn't be the only one and they would see a lot of potentially strange behaviours during their day. I mostly stand away from supermarket cashiers to avoid the how's your day been chit-chat that they're told to make. It can be a good opportunity though to try to extend yourself, if you're in the mood, you can lift your head and look towards but not directly at them for a start, do this a few times and you'll get used to it, I think
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
Hi Guys,

I would like to discuss a problem which I always face when dealing with cashiers.

I avoid looking at the cashier for the whole time. Cos it makes me feel nervous and anxious. So, I normally look elsewhere. Also, I'll always look at the money when handing over the cash to the cashier. Is it ok to not look at the cashier when handing over money?

Will the cashier think I'm abnormal because I avoid looking at him/her?

Na i doubt it
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I always use the auto check because being served by human check out operators makes me anxious. People still seem to react to me, it is the way I look. I've stopped going to some supermarkets.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I understand your concerns. Been there, done that. Still have my days too..

But seriously, what will a 'Hi, just these items thanks.
'No I don't need a bag.
'Thank you, *slight smile*, bye'.

What harm will that do? It's a fairly structured interaction, they aren't going to say 'OMG this guy/girl has SA!!! Quick look everyone! A SA sufferer!'....

If they ask the old 'how's your day?' just reply with 'pretty good thanks'.

Quite simple.
The cashier might even consider you polite, and a positive point in their otherwise boring day.
 
Cashiers get a lot of rude customers everyday so I would expect they would prefer to have anyone who does not talk or look at them, as opposed to someone abusing them verbally. :)

You can always pretend to by busy. I spend a long time packing the bags in my shopping trolly in a certain way, pretend to look in my purse and be thinking of what money to hand over, and a great one is coughing into a handkerchief so the cashier thinks you have a cold, that helps to make them not want to talk to you at all!:thumbup:
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I think the problem is Pug, that cashiers do pick up on anxious behaviour, particularly if it is severe. They might not even know what social anxiety is, they're more likely to think, this person is weird or strange. And some do react to that.
 
honkhonk.

I was a cashier for a while, I actually didn't like people talking to me. My goal was moving people through the line as fast as possible. Maybe some cashiers like talking, but they're probably used to people coming through the store not talking to them. Most of the customers didn't really talk to me.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Most cashiers wouldn't even remember you if you came back through their line ten minutes later anyway, so try not to get hung up on it.
 

AlienGeranium

Well-known member
Most cashiers wouldn't even remember you if you came back through their line ten minutes later anyway, so try not to get hung up on it.

Yes. Or think of it this way, how many cashiers can you remember? Probably none. And a cashier sees over a hundred times more customers than you do cashiers. Doing nothing would not be memorable.
 

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
as a former cashier, i probably wouldnt have even noticed. id probably be relieved that someone wasnt commenting for the 100th time on the rainy day, cracking the same jokes i heard everyday, or making some other boring small talk.

really couldn't care less if you looked at me or even spoke at all. lots of people dont. cashiers see tons of people every day. they're not going to care as long as you're not rude to them or say mean things.
 

Steiner

Well-known member
Ah yeah when I am cashiering I don't really look at the other person at all personally. I mean I have had some people come back and tell me "oh look it's me, I'm back again!" and I'll nod my head and say hey but I honestly didn't notice checking them out the first time because I never actually looked at them.

ohgif.gif.gif


I know there are a few that come in and probably have social anxiety issues and I don't really think low of them for that mainly because I know how it is. Though that is me and not every cashier is the same.

A lot of the time people will ask me if I'm having a bad day or something because I'll be incredibly quiet/ unresponsive.
 
Last edited:

Sacrament

Well-known member
Try not to make a big deal out of something so small. Cashiers are more preocuppied with their job than they are with whatever this or that person looks like or is doing. Just say hi when it's your turn, get your money ready, put your stuff in your bags and say thanks. That's about it.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Not looking won't cause a problem. Just take a few deep relaxed breaths before hand.

Having suffered the same problem in shopping centres for years, I understand the OPs concerns very well. And for someone with severe SA, specifically with the act of being served by a cashier being a component of it, it is anything but easy.

I think it might be unhelpful to say to the OP he is making a big deal about something so small. To him as a SA sufferer it isn't small at all. Like anyone who has been told "get over your SA it's nothing." it isn't very helpful at all.

In a small town, where you go to the same shop hundreds of times, staff get to know you, and some staff will react to what they don't understand in a negative way. And gossip spreads like wildfire.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
I think it might be unhelpful to say to the OP he is making a big deal about something so small. To him as a SA sufferer it isn't small at all. Like anyone who has been told "get over your SA it's nothing." it isn't very helpful at all.

But social anxiety (especially the most severe kind) does stem from making a big deal out of small things (like assuming people are judging you wherever you go, or that someone looked at you this or that way and was therefore judging you negatively, or that it's such a hassle to go shopping because of cashiers, or that saying hi to neighbors is very stressful, etc). The more you defuse those situations, the smaller and more realistic you make them, thus making them a lot easier to go through. I didn't say his or her SA was nothing, I was offering a way to disarm the clusterf*** that social anxiety related thought patterns can be.

In a small town, where you go to the same shop hundreds of times, staff get to know you, and some staff will react to what they don't understand in a negative way. And gossip spreads like wildfire.

Which is another reason why it's important to be as realistic and logical about things as possible, otherwise you start overthinking, your mind starts escalating, and you end up embarassing yourself (stuttering, dropping money, having to leave in a hurry for no apparent reason, etc).
 
Ah yeah when I am cashiering I don't really look at the other person at all personally. I mean I have had some people come back and tell me "oh look it's me, I'm back again!" and I'll nod my head and say hey but I honestly didn't notice checking them out the first time because I never actually looked at them.
^ As a former cashier I have had to do this quite a few times. I developed a "oh yes, I remember you" face to deal with those customers who said something like that. Honestly as others have mentioned, when a cashier is serving hundreds of customers in each shift, it is quite unusual for them to take much notice of every customer.

(Of course that is not the case if you are in a small town, as Kiwong mentioned)

@wise_wind. Are you in a small town or a small or large city, wise_wind?
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
They aren't small things to the SA sufferer, until they learn to manage their anxiety.

Saying " don't make such a big deal over something so small" isn't all that helpful in my view. It's like all those well meaning people saying harden up get over it. That's not realistic or logical that's denial.

And some people do judge and gossip, and I think the way to manage anxiety is to lessen the importance the actions of others have on you. Because the world of people can be a dysfunctional shit of a place, and you need a thick skin to cope with that.

Realism and logic is fine, as long as it doesn't become denial of what is happening around you.

If it was all so easy and small, we'd all be cured years ago, but it isn't easy or small this illness.
 
Last edited:

Sacrament

Well-known member
What I'm saying is, if the person is able to realize how small those things are in reality, they'll be able to see things much more clearly and thus be better equipped to handle them. I wasn't telling him/her to get over it, I was offering advice on how to do it.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
I actually do this as well. I was even a cashier once. The whole process sucks. It makes me nervous to the point I shake or talk in broken patterns. I'm okay only sometimes, and that's very rare.
 
Top