whiteraven
Member
I absolutely hate writing about myself but I hate even more the place that I am in my life socially. I'm 22 and I have no friends, more like a handful of people I get along with well enough. My family is of no use. They care, I guess, but when things get hard they don't know how to handle me so I gave up on their support a long time ago.
I live alone and work outside of the house a little over half of the year. For which I'm thankful because it allows me to not be around people all the time but also forces me to get out when I have to. There have been many times I lived off of ordered pizza because panic attacks kept me from walking out the from door to go out to the store.
I feel like I don't know how to be a person because I'll see a group of my coworkers laughing and talking and I won't know how to join in the conversation. I think people think I don't like them because I rarely talk and it has nothing to do with that I'm just so preoccupied with saying the wrong thing. I've worked at the same job for about four years and I work mostly with a small group of people so I think they finally get it, which makes me feel a little better.
I was in therapy and on an obscene amount of medication as a teenager but all that was just for my depression and in the year of therapy I couldn't open up enough to get to my social anxieties.
I want to be able to make friends. I think that's the hardest part. I want someone who can call me up and say "lets go out for a cup of coffee and talk about meaningless crap".
Anyway, enough of my pity party. I hope to become an active member on this forum but I even get nervous about posting things online so who knows.
I live alone and work outside of the house a little over half of the year. For which I'm thankful because it allows me to not be around people all the time but also forces me to get out when I have to. There have been many times I lived off of ordered pizza because panic attacks kept me from walking out the from door to go out to the store.
I feel like I don't know how to be a person because I'll see a group of my coworkers laughing and talking and I won't know how to join in the conversation. I think people think I don't like them because I rarely talk and it has nothing to do with that I'm just so preoccupied with saying the wrong thing. I've worked at the same job for about four years and I work mostly with a small group of people so I think they finally get it, which makes me feel a little better.
I was in therapy and on an obscene amount of medication as a teenager but all that was just for my depression and in the year of therapy I couldn't open up enough to get to my social anxieties.
I want to be able to make friends. I think that's the hardest part. I want someone who can call me up and say "lets go out for a cup of coffee and talk about meaningless crap".
Anyway, enough of my pity party. I hope to become an active member on this forum but I even get nervous about posting things online so who knows.
I'm also 22 and have no friends outside in the real world
