A try-hard

I don't feel like people appreciate me. They think I'm just bothersome. I try.
I give people compliments. In communities, like dA for example, I watch, faves, notes, and
gives comments to users submissions. compliments too. Also shows interests in commissions. And what do I get in return?
CERO! No Thank You, no nothing. Not the slightest recognition that I would even exist.
Not even a microscopic appreciation. I don't understand. I mean so well. I try.
I just get ignored. I keep losing faith in humanity more and more everyday. There's not much left.
What will become of me when It's all gone?
It feels like I'm bothering here as well. Feels like I'm the uninvited guest. Scuse me -__-
I don't understand why I try so much. Why I insist being so kind. When I get so little to nothing in return.
I wish I had someone to trust. A Real good friend. Someone to play some games with sometimes.
but you know what, no one seems to want. I don't play all the games that everyone else is playing.
no one plays the **** I own.
Sorry for another dumb thread. I could either write what I feel or just keep shut about it...
A question for you all. Am I being too nice and generous? should I stop being that or continue to be my usual self? It hasn't paid off so far.

i guess people feel complacent once they establish a friend group

A lot of DA users have gone through harrassment, especially if they are rather skilled. They don't have a personal problem with you, they merely are cautious because a lot of obsessed weird people are running rampant in there.

Besides... do you approach other people to get something in return? You want friends? What exactly are you looking for?

Hellhound said:

A lot of DA users have gone through harrassment, especially if they are rather skilled. They don't have a personal problem with you, they merely are cautious because a lot of obsessed weird people are running rampant in there.

Besides... do you approach other people to get something in return? You want friends? What exactly are you looking for?

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I'm not a bush-monster nor a stalker. I don't flood their inboxes with fan mails nor am I asking them to be my friend.
I don't expect a long Thank You speech from them, just a simple Thanks. That's all. A thank you. I help them
to spread their art and gives them status, just a short Thx would do. But just treat me like a Bot then...
Just what the previous guy said: They feel complacent once they establish a friend group.
-I don't need you! I'm already famous!

To build your confidence on how many "Thxs" or whatever "like button" on the internet you get doesn't seem like a good idea to begin with. I can promise that you will regret it in a few years, not alone because such things aren't of much meaning but also because it's a waste of time. I know the problem myself, as I can get quite obsessed with feedback on the internet as well, but in the end it won't make you happy one bit, nor will it help you to overcome any of your problems and will potentially create new ones. I don't really know you and your situation, but what you describe sounds like you're trying to blind out your real issues in favour of finding a fast and easy "placebo" to mask them.
Have you thought of trying to find activities outside the internet that you can get some contentment from?

Blueborn said:

To build your confidence on how many "Thxs" or whatever "like button" on the internet you get doesn't seem like a good idea to begin with. I can promise that you will regret it in a few years, not alone because such things aren't of much meaning but also because it's a waste of time. I know the problem myself, as I can get quite obsessed with feedback on the internet as well, but in the end it won't make you happy one bit, nor will it help you to overcome any of your problems and will potentially create new ones. I don't really know you and your situation, but what you describe sounds like you're trying to blind out your real issues in favour of finding a fast and easy "placebo" to mask them.
Have you thought of trying to find activities outside the internet that you can get some contentment from?

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I'll stop being mr nice guy then. I've been aware for a very long time that it doesn't pay of to be nice, polite and encourage others. I've been so blind and continued with it anyway. But the very few times I actually ever got a thnx in my life it made me happy...
Sadly, the only little life I seem to have, is by the damn computer. I even sleep next to it. (lol...?)
I don't know what kind of activities it would be.

I think you missed the point I was trying to make. I talked about taking shallow "appreciation" or ignorance from the internet too seriously won't give you much of a fulfillment on the long term, and that it would be better to look for something more substantial in real life to give you confidence, which is of course not easy in social isolation though.
I'm also curious what you mean with "stop being mr nice guy", that could be quite extreme, depending on how you interpret it.

Blueborn said:

I think you missed the point I was trying to make. I talked about taking shallow "appreciation" or ignorance from the internet too seriously won't give you much of a fulfillment on the long term, and that it would be better to look for something more substantial in real life to give you confidence, which is of course not easy in social isolation though.
I'm also curious what you mean with "stop being mr nice guy", that could be quite extreme, depending on how you interpret it.

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I didn't miss your point I think? I've been nice and all, and it hasn't paid off. simple as that.
I'm not gonna start shot people or be rude. If they don't appreciate me commenting and encouraging, they ain't worth having it.
What are you doing to feel appreciated?
Go any examples of deep(and not shallow) "appreciations"?

JuicyFruit said:

What are you doing to feel appreciated?
Go any examples of deep(and not shallow) "appreciations"?

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You could start by not expecting anything in return when you do something nice for others.

alright.


(why this goofy 10 character limit)

JuicyFruit said:

I didn't miss your point I think? I've been nice and all, and it hasn't paid off. simple as that.
I'm not gonna start shot people or be rude. If they don't appreciate me commenting and encouraging, they ain't worth having it.
What are you doing to feel appreciated?
Go any examples of deep(and not shallow) "appreciations"?

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I didn't want to make dubious accusations, the excerpt I quoted just sounded a little over the top. Well, as for "deep" appreciation, I think a more personal bond than just the internet (maybe except for online-friendships) is required for that. So for example a compliment from a friend or family member is just a lot more meaningful to me than a more or less formal "thanks" by an artist to whom I am for the most part anonymous anyway. Maybe I got something wrong, but you sound like you're emotionally quite distressed by feedback that is rather unpersonal and comes from strangers, which just seems unhealthy to me. Also your general attitude for approaching people has a somewhat aggressive vibe to it, as you seem to get easily offended when someone is not responding to your commitment like you expect. Instead of then going for radical conclusions like this...

JuicyFruit said:

I've been aware for a very long time that it doesn't pay of to be nice, polite and encourage others.

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...I would either look for people with whom I have more in common (character, sense of humor, etc...) or try to go for new hobbies and interests, which will make for more common ground when meeting new people in general.

Blueborn said:

I didn't want to make dubious accusations, the excerpt I quoted just sounded a little over the top. Well, as for "deep" appreciation, I think a more personal bond than just the internet (maybe except for online-friendships) is required for that. So for example a compliment from a friend or family member is just a lot more meaningful to me than a more or less formal "thanks" by an artist to whom I am for the most part anonymous anyway. Maybe I got something wrong, but you sound like you're emotionally quite distressed by feedback that is rather unpersonal and comes from strangers, which just seems unhealthy to me. Also your general attitude for approaching people has a somewhat aggressive vibe to it, as you seem to get easily offended when someone is not responding to your commitment like you expect. Instead of then going for radical conclusions like this...



...I would either look for people with whom I have more in common (character, sense of humor, etc...) or try to go for new hobbies and interests, which will make for more common ground when meeting new people in general.

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I dont understand how you can see me agressive this just made me sad. I think your post is little agressive. Sorry i didnt want to upset Anyone. But it seems to be what im very unintentionally good at and i feel shame now. This made me so unsecure now i dont want to continue.

If you're on dA, just compliment the not-so-popular artist. You will get your thanks. And you can thank me later.