Absolutely No Social Life

Over the past year or so, my social life has evolved into me having no friends, no connections with people, no one to talk to, no one close.
It sucks a lot. I'm usually a person to have at least one friend. However currently, I have none. It's frustrating. I seem to have forgotten how to make friends and talk to people that I am around.

I am desperately trying to find at least one person to be close with. Someone who has the same interests as me and has many similarities with. I know that may seem like a lot to ask for, but that is truly all I want. If I could find one person like that I would be completely fine with having one friend. It's getting to the point where I'm feeling depressed about it.

Whenever I'm around others, it's like I don't know what to say or what to do. Even if I do talk to people, I usually don't continue to due to the fact that I start to feel like I'm annoying them.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've resorted to going on websites similar to this one to find ways to make friends again. How to be social and likable. It's just like I'm always unlikable or unpopular for some reason.

I'm not an unclean person, I always have a neat appearance. I dress well, I have good hygiene, I'm friendly. I'm funny. It just seems like I repeal people for some reason I'm not aware of. I think there's something I'm doing that pushes people away. I'm not sure what it is, or else I would of changed it by now.

I see people who make friends so easily. Or make connections with everyone they meet. I on the other hand have such a difficult time doing so.

If anyone reads this, it would mean so much to me if you could spare some advice or anything alike that could help me.

Seriously, not having anyone to share my thoughts with or talk to or just simply hangout with is tearing me apart.

Thanks for reading.

I would give you advice, but I'm the same way. I don't think you'll get much advice here because most of us are in the same boat. And we know what a terribly painful place it is to be.

I'm holding out hope that I will find a good CBT social anxiety therapy group. I think anyone who hasn't tried it really should.

yeah this site isnt the best place to ask for advice on how to make friends exactly..lol..most people here are in same position as you OP..

how old are you blackjellybean?do you go to school or have a job?those are good places to meet friends..also, you never want to appear to be too needy or desperate for friendships as that will push many away i think..

hobbies, what are they?

how bad is your social anxiety or phobia or avoidance?

Yeah, well, I'm eighteen. I'm in school. I don't have a job and as far as appearing to desperate to make friends may be it.
I have some hobbies, but none that include other people particularly.
As far as my school. I take one class through the week for 2 hours a day.
My social anxiety isn't really bad, but I do get nervous easily. I don't think my nervousness shows though.

I know how you feel, seriously I could of written this.
I've kind of avoided my friends and moved away so many times until I didn't have any, and its been like this for a few years now. It seems to me that the longer you isolate yourself the worse it gets and the more alien you feel around others.
If you do make any friends, keep them close.

TreeBones said:

. It seems to me that the longer you isolate yourself the worse it gets and the more alien you feel around others.
If you do make any friends, keep them close.

Click to expand...

this^ ...the longer you go, it almost becomes like you are a foreigner in a strange land, not sure of the language or how to integrate yourself into this unfamiliar culture anymore....the weight gets insurmountable

although being 18 and the fact that you WANT to do something to change it, I really hold high hopes for you turning it around...when I was your age I came to the same realisation as you but instead went meh' that's just how I am, I am comfortable in my own company blah blah blah...and as you can imagine that hasn't helped me.

TreeBones said:

I know how you feel, seriously I could of written this.
I've kind of avoided my friends and moved away so many times until I didn't have any, and its been like this for a few years now. It seems to me that the longer you isolate yourself the worse it gets and the more alien you feel around others.
If you do make any friends, keep them close.

Click to expand...

THIS, the best advice i can give is if you make or have friends, keep them close..then again, most of us are introverted avoidants(with anxiety) and that can make it extremely difficult to 'keep up' socially with friends..in the past i honestly felt having friends was more of a chore than it was enjoyable, they always wanted to hang out, talk and i found it draining..if you arent the type that wants to go out with them often and socialize, they usually will find buddies that will and i dont blame them there..again, its a difficult scenario...

at 18 years old though you should still have plenty of energy to hang out with friends etc etc..

Skins is right, in your early 20s its still easy to make friends, late 20s it starts getting much more difficult, your 30s and beyond it is very very difficult..like a strange stuck in a strange land is a great way of putting it!

Its like having a heightened awareness of yourself that others don't have and the more you pay attention to your discomfort and fear the worse it gets i.e. not knowing what to say and fearing rejection. I can't say it is easy to snap out of it but you can try and do things that will distract you and in the process you will be able to connect with people indirectly!

If you like animals you could help at an animal sanctuary, work in a pet store or if you have another interest like crafts you could take up classes or start making and selling at a market…that way the pressure is small, you just go and enjoy doing something you like and chances are people will come to you who like the same things.


At 18 what you describe is totally normal, I bet more people around you feel the same way but try not to let it show.

i am in the exact same boat

I do most things alone as well, I keep in touch with a few colleagues, but mainly just texting. Thats about it. I really don't care to have many friends since I haven't had one in such a long time anyway, but I ll very much like to find a compatible and suitable significant other to spend time and do things with.