Advice

alter_ego · 05-20-2007

I'm back in work tomorrow after several weeks off with anxiety and depression. As always when we've been off sick, I have to have a meeting with my boss tomorrow to discuss it.

What I was wondering was, do I tell her about the social phobia? (Given that most people don't understand it and imagine it's just nervousness at new situations etc - plus, I am a v.v.good actress and few people even believe I'm shy, not knowing that inside me I'm a total nervous wreck while I'm chatting to them and analyse everything afterwards). And I'm dreading the meeting as it is so would it be easier to let her believe it was ordinary anxiety and depression?

Does anyone else have any experience of this problem?

Tryin · 05-20-2007

i would say, tell her. why not? sure you could hide it from people, but why? being open about your (well, our) illness could even help educate people and make it easier for other social phobics.

4seasons · 05-20-2007

If i was in your position i would tell your boss. But i would make sure the he/she understood exacly what it is so they don't get thw wrong idea.

spct · 05-21-2007

since they already know it's for anxiety/depression, i think you may as well tell them what type of anxiety it is

i mean, they've been understanding so far (i assume) & given you time off, so i don't think you really have much to lose

you don't necessarily have to go into major detail, but it seems advantageous to just be honest since it may help you in the future

and if they don't fully comprehend SA, then you still haven't really lost anything

i guess it depends on how comfortable you feel but it makes sense to tell her in my opinion

easier said than done though! good luck!

alter_ego · 05-21-2007

Thanks for your answers. Unfortunately, I'm in an open plan office and the interview, tho only brief, was held by the head of my section (not my boss, who, I'm beginning to realise, is quite sympathetic) and anyone could have overheard in passing. He wasn't unsympathetic but I heard myself saying it was depression caused by moving house, money troubles, which is true - just not the whole truth.

The day was okay. I still don't like my job as such but it helped that a couple of people I feel uncomfortable with were on leave and the guy now sitting near me is v.approachable (thankfully, I hassled him all day about stuff!).

The head of my section asked if I wanted to move to another area but it would've been similar work and, anyway, my social anxiety would hit sky high if I moved to new people and situations again!!!

On the plus side, I genuinely think the tablets I'm taking (Cipralex) ARE helping and I had nice phone calls and text messages from family and friends today so I am lucky in having support.

delacratic · 05-21-2007

Man, they are having a meeting like that in a public area after you've come back having been sick with depression...?! It's not fair to place you in that position. They are failing you. It's like asking a guy who's come back from an arm operation to carry a heavy box to the next office.

My advice would be to ask them for a second, private, meeting and tell them the truth, and you can even say how difficult the first meeting was for you. Your employer has to realise that they need to help you do your job. They need to support you.

Good luck!

Tryin · 05-21-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by delacratic

Man, they are having a meeting like that in a public area after you've come back having been sick with depression...?! It's not fair to place you in that position. They are failing you. It's like asking a guy who's come back from an arm operation to carry a heavy box to the next office.

My advice would be to ask them for a second, private, meeting and tell them the truth, and you can even say how difficult the first meeting was for you. Your employer has to realise that they need to help you do your job. They need to support you.

Good luck!

You made a great point, Delacratic. Yes, I think that's a great advice.