Afraid of hurting others

Hi,

does anyone else feel guilty if you have accidentally (or not) hurt or let down someone or think you that you might ?

A recent example: my colleagues from work (8 in total, small IT firm) organized a trip and they assumed I would come as well. The day before the event I said I wouldn't come because I wouldn't like the trip and I have better things to do in my days off (it was on a Saturday).

Afterwards I felt pretty guilty that I disappointed them by not joining them.

There are countless other examples however that I am/was too scared to join them and made up stupid excuses to not go and felt guilty afterwards.

Usually I'm too scared to say no and participate anyway even though I didn't like it and wanted to go home asap, but the times that I actually find the courage to reject someone's offer I feel like I've done something bad. Especially if they don't understand why I wouldn't like it and call me to reconsider ..

Short(er): I know it's pretty stupid but I think more of the feelings of the persons surrounding me, in order not to step on any toes than my own feelings, and when I actually do take my feelings before theirs I feel guilty of doing so.

(Sorry if it's hard to read/understand, I suck in explaining what I feel )

I suck in explaining what I feel too.

I started feeling that way since a year ago or so. I mean more than I ever did. That fear of hurting others' feelings. Now I'm really way too careful not to do so. I don't know why I started feeling that way more than ever. It's probably cause we feel hurt more than normal people so we start to know how it feels and try not to cause others to feel the same.

Sometimes though, I think that I started to strongly feel that way from fear of Karma. I just have been thinking about that stuff alot lately and I'm more careful in dealing with Karma than ever. I just really believe in it now. And now, when I feel I hurt someone, I immediately start thinking that it'll eventually fire back and I try to apologize to whoever I think I hurt at once.

If that really is the reason I'm afraid of hurting others' feelings then it's pretty selfish, cause it's me who I'm basically afraid to get hurt eventually