Always think people are mad at you?

lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
Today, a friend called our place of employment while I was working. I could tell that she was upset, and asked if she wanted to talk about it. She acknowledged that she wasn't okay, but said she didn't want to talk. I immediately thought she was mad at me, but later she texted telling me that her dog had passed away. While I was sad to hear about her dog, I was also glad to know that I hadn't done anything to upset her.
I often fear that when those around me are mad or upset, it is my fault. I am usually very relieved when I find out that's not the case. Does anyone else feel this way?
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
Sometimes I do wonder if someone is upset at me or something I said; but like they say, it is not you, it is them. Also, sometimes I will be upset and someone will ask what is wrong, but I won't want to talk about it. It has nothing to do with them, I just have to organize my thoughts, or I fear I would burst into tears right then and there which would just be awkward!
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I find myself feeling that way a lot, so you're not alone. Seemed like I always felt that my ex was mad at me when we were together.
 
Shyangel

Shyangel

Well-known member
I think people are always mad at me or I always think I'm the cause of the problem that made them mad.
I feel like I'm the essence of life's issues for all who surrounds me. I know it's silly, but I can't help it.
 
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MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
I usually think it's my fault, too. I'm trying not to let it bother me as much, to varying degrees of success.
 
Ten

Ten

Banned
Yes I feel like that all the time. I cherish these moments when I'm drunk and high at 1 in the morning where I really could not give a **** what people think. **** them all.

I wish I felt like this always. Aliens, just come and take me away from this place.
 
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Shyangel

Shyangel

Well-known member
Ten said:
Yes I feel like that all the time. I cherish these moments when I'm drunk and high at 1 in the morning where I really could not give a **** what people think. **** them all.

I wish I felt like this always. Aliens, just come and take me away from this place.
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I think I'm in love with you.::p: Haha! Would you mind sending some of that my way? I would love to not give a F*** right now.::p:
 
B

bardock

Well-known member
Ten said:
Yes I feel like that all the time. I cherish these moments when I'm drunk and high at 1 in the morning where I really could not give a **** what people think. **** them all.

I wish I felt like this always. Aliens, just come and take me away from this place.
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I actually had that sort of feeling a few days agp. i felt i left my body and was in outerspace. had nothing illegal tho ;)
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
Actually, now that I think about it more...I constantly ask those around me if they are okay, especially if they appear moody or upset, and I will think it is about me. I am aware the world does not revolve around me and that most likely it is something else upsetting them, but it still bothers me. I have to remind myself that it is them and not me. Still, I prompt them into telling me what is wrong and ask if I did or said something to upset them, because if I did I want to know so I can make it right. I have to stop doing that. I can see how it can be annoying, and could lead to conflict or that person may choose to take their frustrations out on me!
 
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twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
I always think they're mad, or not even that but - annoyed at me, fed up of me, bored of me etc. There's only a few friends I trust enough to think that they'd tell me if I was bothering them but even then I have moments of doubt.

The problem is that whilst society can be a nasty thing at times, most people do their best to stay polite, and will seldom say outright that they're mad at you. Particularly in my country, people are not very direct, which means that when you have this worry, you get frustrated knowing that even if you asked them about it upfront they'd probably say 'no' just to keep the peace.

I guess that it's virtually impossible to know what people really think of us, so if possible we just have to have some degree of belief in everything we do. If we can have that, and know our intentions are good, then I believe we're less likely to feel upset when we think people are angry at us.
 
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razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
twiggle said:
The problem is that whilst society can be a nasty thing at times, most people do their best to stay polite, and will seldom say outright that they're mad at you. Particularly in my country, people are not very direct, which means that when you have this worry, you get frustrated knowing that even if you asked them about it upfront they'd probably say 'no' just to keep the peace.
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Ah, yes. It is frustrating! I want people to be upfront with me. I hate all this wondering...
 
twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
I sometimes do this. :/
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So do I. No matter how angry I get, sometimes it's easier just to swallow it up and forget about it. Forgiveness is liberating.

It's just annoying when you're on the other end of it though ::p: (the politeness, not the forgiveness, as it doesn't tell you what you really want to know)
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
lilmutegirl said:
Today, a friend called our place of employment while I was working. I could tell that she was upset, and asked if she wanted to talk about it. She acknowledged that she wasn't okay, but said she didn't want to talk. I immediately thought she was mad at me, but later she texted telling me that her dog had passed away. While I was sad to hear about her dog, I was also glad to know that I hadn't done anything to upset her.
I often fear that when those around me are mad or upset, it is my fault. I am usually very relieved when I find out that's not the case. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Yes I often think that someone is mad at me/annoyed at me/forgot about me. I get easily nervous about that kinda stuff. It can be soothing for me to not have much interaction with people.
 
TheWickedOne

TheWickedOne

Active member
I actually think this a lot. If I come home and my roommate is there and she doesn't really react to me I become convinced I've done something wrong. It's pretty much always that she's playing freaking Cafe World but I feel this way a lot when dealing with people.

And with some people, it doesn't bother me, because I don't care about them in the slightest. Wierd.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Yes and it feeds my paranoia A LOT

Nanita said:
Yes I often think that someone is mad at me/annoyed at me/forgot about me. I get easily nervous about that kinda stuff. It can be soothing for me to not have much interaction with people.
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Same for me... Since my life is going well lately, I'm happier and give off better vibes so people seems to be more looking to know me and spend time with me, which I'm glad of, but on the other hand it feeds the anxiety and the fear of disappointing them.
 
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