More questions tho how do you feel at work more so? How do you act? How about out with friends? Girls? Do you speak up for yourself or give into others?
in the beggining i was totally afraid of everybody - it's always like this when i beggin something - but when i got my today job i was aware of my problem , even don't knowing SA at the time , i knew that i needed to fight these fears.
It's a small place to , 9 or 10 people, software development, in the beggining i always tryed to make things my own way because i didn't want to ask for help. But today i know everybody and i speak to them normally...
Everytime someone is hired i feel strange, i avoid people like hell, but while the time passes i generally start talking to them very naturally. I mean in my own normal way, because i'm noticing traces of SA even with known people: i avoid to do things, to say no, to look people face to face, to tell people bad news, or thruths i know are bad to them. These days i needed to say a thing to 2 people in another room, i needed to try 3 times, the first one i couldn't , the secont i speaked to low and the third i finally managed to tell them.
I don't go out with my friends, my few close friends gave up asking me to go out a long time - i always came up with an excuse .
When i was in college i went to work, to college and home. Now that i'm finished i just go to work and home and work...
i live in a town where there are few options, and worst i live in the country side.
The last times i went out, was to the theater with my sis and to a concert. i loved that thing i could just go crazy without caring about anything, but after the show i felt embarassed to myself :( - i feel strange remembering this, i know that it wasnt wrong, but i feel strange.
well... i've never been rejected... probably because i never tryed something with a girl :P...
Even having some crushes latelly, and managing to get a little bit out of my shell, i think that's a long way before i could manage to even start talking to a girl i like.
But i think my worst problem with girls is my self steem, i don't feel like any girl will ever like me, even knowing i'm a nice person, i feel like girls may find better guys ... generally when people ask me about girls i joke sayng, "which crime a girl could commit to deserve this punishment?" (don't sound good in english)... i think it translates exactly how i fell, even thinking against it, i feel this way :(
Thank you people for your help , this was a very insigthful post to me, i really think i should try a doctor by now, just don't know which kind of doctor