JonnyD

People when i read the diagnosis page i feel like many things match with me... but when i read the forums i realize that many of you are overcoming and have overcame problems much worse then mine... and i feel like i'm being a egocentric ass! - in this case comparison don't work very well, but there's always a diference between what i think and how i feel

I know the right person to tell me what i have is a psychologist , but i aalso know you people are more then qualifed to share you insights.

Well i'm 20 yo, i went to college, ended it and now i have a nice job, for most people, i live a "normal" life... but swhen i turned 18 i noticed something wrong with me, i'm a shy person since i can remember, but when i turned 18 realised that my shyness was blocking my life.

I think i have a worse problem than just shyness, because i avoid thing which would be normal to do, but i also know that since my 18 i have done many things that i was afraid at the time, without knowing what is SA.

For example:

-i almost ran away from my college graduation (but i did it, and it was easy), i think i didn't gone away because of my friends
-the first and only time i got to the movies , i was so nervous to talk to the tickets guy that i asked from the wrong ticket
- this days my friend presented me to two of his friends, it was just so unconfortable, i acted like a ass!
- about 3 months ago, i wouldn't buy my own clothes, i did it once because, and now i only go to the same store

And the list of doings and undoings go on, but i managed to get a job, and end college , but i still afraid to buy things and talk to people idk ...
I mean, i won so many battles, but i still losing many of them.

Right now, i'm not clicking submit because i afraid you guy will only think that i'm trying reassure myself of my problems... at the moment i'm totally sure i'm SA, but monday when i got to work, i won't be so sure.

sorry for writing so much , i'm a confused person i know.

Helyna

That sounds like SA to me. It's good to get it out. I hate being confused, and I have fewer problems than you do.

"Usually a person has more faith in their fear than faith in their future."
-Doug Firebaugh

JonnyD

what really makes me doubt sometimes is that i don't show any signs - the most is i tramble or mumble, the trambling part is terrible sometimes...

i've seen so many people talking about sweating and shallow breating, i never got this - people often see me as snob because i don't look or talk to anyone, or because i reather be enclosed in my room.

Neebo

Hi Jonny ! From what you've put in your post it definitely sounds like you do have SA, though maybe a more milder case. I say this because you seem to be doing quite well what with having a job and having kept up going to college. By the way, congratulations on your graduation I dare say it can't have been easy, but you did it.

I think the best thing for you to do is maybe speak to someone about how you feel or talk to your doctor. I'm sure he/she will be able to advise you on what to do next.

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Johnny I agree I'd say you have SA. the degree well... I can relate with you on many experiences you just listed! The clothing stores and movie ticket exactly how I used to feel and reacted. Less now although I still act awkward. But look I don't oversweat or have shallow breathing I don't think that determines your degree of SA. Some people simply react differently physically.

I mumble A LOT and tramble. And have closed myself off in my room and can be quiet or not talk at work. Although I became much more social after I got more comfortable but it was a small place. And when I was let go, (placed closed) last year I still have not found a new job...

I go to the gym same place for years and there are VERY few people I talk to, and i've seen many of the same ppl for those years and everyone seems to know everyone... and I can't even look directly at them either to this day I must look so weird lol. Thank god for headphones!

You definitely do not have an extreme case but I can't say mild either. Some would say I have a milder case but it's certainly not for me it's held me back from a lot I'm 22 and still IN college so =D

More questions tho how do you feel at work more so? How do you act? How about out with friends? Girls? Do you speak up for yourself or give into others?

JonnyD

in the beggining i was totally afraid of everybody - it's always like this when i beggin something - but when i got my today job i was aware of my problem , even don't knowing SA at the time , i knew that i needed to fight these fears.
It's a small place to , 9 or 10 people, software development, in the beggining i always tryed to make things my own way because i didn't want to ask for help. But today i know everybody and i speak to them normally...
Everytime someone is hired i feel strange, i avoid people like hell, but while the time passes i generally start talking to them very naturally. I mean in my own normal way, because i'm noticing traces of SA even with known people: i avoid to do things, to say no, to look people face to face, to tell people bad news, or thruths i know are bad to them. These days i needed to say a thing to 2 people in another room, i needed to try 3 times, the first one i couldn't , the secont i speaked to low and the third i finally managed to tell them.

I don't go out with my friends, my few close friends gave up asking me to go out a long time - i always came up with an excuse .
When i was in college i went to work, to college and home. Now that i'm finished i just go to work and home and work...
i live in a town where there are few options, and worst i live in the country side.
The last times i went out, was to the theater with my sis and to a concert. i loved that thing i could just go crazy without caring about anything, but after the show i felt embarassed to myself :( - i feel strange remembering this, i know that it wasnt wrong, but i feel strange.

Girls?
well... i've never been rejected... probably because i never tryed something with a girl :P...

Even having some crushes latelly, and managing to get a little bit out of my shell, i think that's a long way before i could manage to even start talking to a girl i like.

But i think my worst problem with girls is my self steem, i don't feel like any girl will ever like me, even knowing i'm a nice person, i feel like girls may find better guys ... generally when people ask me about girls i joke sayng, "which crime a girl could commit to deserve this punishment?" (don't sound good in english)... i think it translates exactly how i fell, even thinking against it, i feel this way :(

Thank you people for your help , this was a very insigthful post to me, i really think i should try a doctor by now, just don't know which kind of doctor[/b]

knowwatslike

Yes you have it. Thinking and feeling are different things. That's because a phobia is an exagerrated fear that you can't control. So you think I shouldn't worry about this but you still worry, that's what's so crippiling about the dissorder. To calm your thoughts I am giving you mine, yes there a people on here with much bigger problems that they overcame but those people have very severe social phobia. That and they got help which made them make so much progress. Let me tell you in fourth grade I had extremely severe social phobia but I overcame it, kind of like you, but you don't have it to the extreme but you still need to get help. Also keep in mind everyone with social phobia makes improvements and they will start winning more battles than they loose at some point but that doesn't mean they don't have the disorder and it doesn't mean that the disorder is permanent, because we can make improvements. And loosing battles is part of life, it is a matter of if your disorder made you loose. Anyone who reads this post think about not just how you felt but how you acted when you were anxious a year ago. My guess is you've worked on it and made some improvement.

megamoviejohn

Jonny, you have so many similar things just like me. I mumble ALL the time and talk way too quiet, even around my closet friends. They gave up inviting me to places and to do stuff. I remember being in school one day and as I was walking by the office the lady asked me to give a note to a teacher because a kid needed to be checked out. I said ok obviously, but I could NOT open that door and tell the teacher with 20 other people in there all looking at me. I didnt know what to do, I started to panic and thank goodness somebody else was going into the classroom and I just gave that person the letter. I honestly would have never opened the door and probably would have walked to my car and left that day. Another day I had to take some advil while I was at work and some people were blocking the water fountain and I couldnt muster the courage to ask them to move...people I've been around for months...simply pathetic, I'm still like that, but sometimes I'm better than that. Depends on the day I guess. I hope your getting better though.

Canucks1

I have had some of these things happen to me before but not to the degree you have, when i was in my teens and early 20s it was alot worse.. today im almost 30 and its alot better i have manged to fight through the issues i had.

www.panicandanxietyhelp.com
where you can rid yourself of anxiety for good