Anxiety at work! Advice appreciated

Hi all,

Hoping for a little advice on something I've been struggling with for a while now. I really have trouble with my anxiety in the workplace. To the point where I had to leave my old job becuase I was so dreading going to work each day and I'd come home extremely exhausted from having to deal with anxiety from interacting with colleagues all day. One area I really struggle with is speaking with managers and more senior people. I feel as though my anxiety is obvious to them, and that it must make me look really incompetent. When I speak to them, my voice get shaky, I have trouble with eye contact and I really don't communicate or articulate my words very clearly. I feel like they must be thinking "this guy is obviously not confident in himself, how can we have confidence in him and rely on him professionally?".

I'm really trying to be proactive and challenge these thoughts using cbt, but what would really help if I could get some other perspectives on my thoughts. Do you think its reasonable that a manager would think less of me professionally, if they do pick up on my anxiety?

I am the exact same way. I've had to leave several jobs because of my anxiety. I was let go from one job when I was having a really bad anxiety week and was honest with my boss about it because my therapist told me I should, but that turned out to be a very bad idea. The job I have now, I've been at for over a year now and it's the longest I've lasted at any job. I told my boss again about my anxiety during a time I was having a bit of a breakdown and she was a little understanding about it. I didn't get fired. But I still hate that she knows and now I'm always scared of getting let go because of it. I feel it does make them think less of me professionally.
Have you ever tried talking to your managers about it?
I feel as if I'm not going to be able to last at this job much longer. The dread every day is so bad. All day I just count down the hours until I can be back at home alone.
I don't really have great advice. The only thing I've been doing is going through the motions and trying to find something to make me happy during the day and not dread it so much, but I've been unsuccessful so far.

Sorry to hear you've been having trouble as well. I know exactly how it feels as my last job was especislly bad. I have thought of telling my manager but haven't for a few reasons. First of all I'm not sure how likely it is he would really appreciate what social anxiety is. Not just understand the definition but appreciate it properly. Also I feel telling someone would be a very personal think for me and I struggle to get past that. But if my current job turns out to be a struggle, and I contemplate leaving, I guess I wouldn't have anything to lose by telling him.
Finding my current job made the biggest difference for me as I changed industries altogether and I find it easier in a few ways. But still struggling to get past anxiety around the boss.

I can sympathise very much so here. Anxiety has always existed in my jobs but the one job I truly failed at was in 2010 with a job relating to my degree which before accepting it, I thought I could handle. But the open office plan, some senior colleagues and line managers who I struggled to communicate with properly resulting in problems, affected me deeply. I left the job and began a spiral towards what I felt was depression and deep anxiety.

The job I'm in now I've lasted over a year and a half and I seem to be doing OK. Probably I'm hiding my anxiety well, it helps I'm slightly more adept at doing technical things which helps garner trust from my colleagues. But I do have moments, dealing with face to face customer service, that I struggle. It's difficult after a bad experience to get over it.

In relation to dealing with intimidating colleagues, I've experienced that in this job and it's difficult. I just found trying to speak to them when they were on their own or chickening out by emailing them any contentious issues. Luckily the person I engaged with kinda knew my personality but still I felt nervous when I had messed up.

I think my colleagues think I'm "calm" but not on the inside!

How long have you been working there? If it has been a sufficient period then it might be worth having a chat and explaining your anxiety.

Been there about 2 months or so, but have a few reservations about telling work mainly for the reasons above. But will definitely have a think about it. A few things that have helped just little is

1) reminding myself that my manager likely only sees a fraction of the anxiety I might be feeling

2) that when I experience a situation I feel went badly I'm likely blowing it out of proportion

Maybe I missed this but what kind of work do you do? How old are you and M/F. I have a lot of social issues and have managed to get better over the years (39) but many still remain. The area that I have managed the best in is separating work and loosing a lot of the issues I have while working.

Hard to tell what they'd think of you if you let them know. Some people are very understanding, or try to be, and others just don't get it or are complete ****s. I'd personally rather not tell because 1. it's none of their business 2. it would probably make me feel more anxious knowing they know, not relieved.

Try to work on eye contact with them when they talk to you. Try to make friendly conversation with them when possible and smile, especially if in customer service.

I'm not sure about where you live, but here it's illegal to fire someone for having anxiety issues or any mental disorder, it's discrimination, even if they were not aware that you have anxiety. Which means either you won't get let go, or if you do and have good reason to believe it was due to your anxiety then they are liable and have to compensate you for losses.

Have to agree that being dismissed for anxiety would be illegal at least where I'm from. But I don't think the guys I work for would consider doing anything like that. But its still a very personal think for me to consider telling them.
Eye contact is one think I'm really trying to work on more, but when I start speaking to someone I tend to completely forget because I'm so focussed on the anxiety. Something ive started recently that I'm finding helps a bit is exercising before work. Somehow it just takes a little edge off the anxiety during the day. Maybe it's just burning off some nervous energy?
Had a low key conversation with my manager the other day which I felt pretty anxious and negative about how it went at the time. But on reflection now it probably wasn't that bad.