Anxiety that my girlfriend is losing interest/falling out of love with me :(

Not sure how to start off... I'm new to the forumn. Just lately I've connected certain aspects of my life to be linked to anxiety and I am desperate for some answers. There are a couple of areas in my life where my Anxiety can get the best of me. The first and less serious is in my band, when i perform and sing. Almost everytime i sing one of our songs I always get thoughts that i will sing the wrong notes and by thinking this way sometimes it happens...i hit the wrong notes. It isnt a huge deal and about half the time i can jsut brush off the thoughts. But my next Anxiety issue drives me nuts sometimes, and to the point where it dpresses me! I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 7 months, weve dated on and off in the past and have known each other for a while. We love each other very much, we live together, and have even mentioned getting married in the near future. I can officially say that I am deeply in love with this girl. Now that being said its been 7 months, the honeymoon phase is over and we are falling into our own patterns of living our lives. For me, I kind of still expect it to be that lovey dovey phase and I always want her to be more affectionate but I think shes at a different level right now. We havent had as much sex as when we first started dating, she doesnt do all the Cute stuff she always did to show her affection, and just other little things that she has stopped doing. Now, shes not a very affectionate person to begin with, but she does tell me she loves me every single day. The heart of my anxiety comes to play when I notice little things like say she forgot to say "I love you" in the morning before i went to work. This would start my anxiety and then say she didnt text me all morning until my lunch break, now all I can think about is if shes losing interest, or shes falling out of love and from there my mind just takes the ball and mmy mind goes crazy over analyzing everything. Which then causes me to think of ways to try and get her to show some affection by ignoring her texts for a while or acting like im in a bad mood when we are at home. I hate when that happens because thats not being confident nor does it show that i have faith in our relationship and it sickens me. I'm going to end up losing her due to the fact that she doesnt see me as confident and ill always be pushing her away because I want her to show affection.... I just dont know what to do

You're in a band!? Man, think of yourself as extremely lucky - most ppl on this site would be far too anxious to be in a band.

Your girlfriend didn't text you until lunch time??? I mean this in the nicest possible way - you need to chill out. My girlfriend almost never texts me, and I'm fine with that, I've got better stuff to do then text all day. I know it's hard and honestly I know how you feel - but you've got to try and have a good time, have interests that don't involve her (like your band). You don't want to make her feel like it's up to her to keep you happy - that's very draining, try and be happy and have fun with whatever you do with or without her and she should naturally be more attracted to you. Hope that helps

ITcrowdfan said:

You're in a band!? Man, think of yourself as extremely lucky - most ppl on this site would be far too anxious to be in a band.

Your girlfriend didn't text you until lunch time??? I mean this in the nicest possible way - you need to chill out. My girlfriend almost never texts me, and I'm fine with that, I've got better stuff to do then text all day. I know it's hard and honestly I know how you feel - but you've got to try and have a good time, have interests that don't involve her (like your band). You don't want to make her feel like it's up to her to keep you happy - that's very draining, try and be happy and have fun with whatever you do with or without her and she should naturally be more attracted to you. Hope that helps

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That does help a lot man. And to be honest 90% of the time I worry I'll just end up chilling out and telling myself how stupid that was of me to worry about all the stuff that I worry about. Thank you man!

I am the same, but I am a girl...me and the boyfriend have been going out nearly two years and I have anxieties about everything...we have a great relationship and things are great but lately he has been busy with work and work for college..he is a busy guy and everytime he says sorry I cant see you I need to deal do work I am like why doesnt he want to see me, he must like another girl, he doesnt love me anymore, why isnt he bothered bout seeing me..I just think we are in different stages I still want to be loveyndovey and he is becoming more able to do his own thing and because we used to spend every day together and ive lost most my friends I find it difficult to do things without him and I always want to see him...we are moving in together soon so hopefully I will see him a bit more than I do..but he doesnt bother if he doesnt see me all week...and that hurts a bit so im trying to meet new people and make new friends and find things to do so he isnt my focus all the time...

^ I'm sorry to hear that! that feelings sucks when you don't know exactly how your partner feels about you but then at the same time you know they love you. It makes me feel like less of a man when I feel these insecurities. Like, I'm a man why the hell should I care if she's not smothering me with hugs and kisses or flirting all the time. And that's just it I can "act" like a stone cold badass as much as I want deep down I'm one of the most emotional/affectionate guy in the world :/

If she tells you she loves you every day, what are you worried about? Is she not being affectionate at all? I think you might be over-analyzing things. Most relationships have that "honey moon" period and then things cool down a bit. Doesn't mean the same feelings aren't still there. I think purposely ignoring texts and acting like you're in a bad mood is immature, don't think it will encourage her to be affectionate.....quite the opposite actually.

Yeah I totally understand that man. And I agree I do handle the situation in a bad manner sometimes. That's the part I want to fix, there is no reason that I should feel the way I do haha

Falling in love is easy. Keeping a relationship together once the infatuation phase ends (and it does end) is the hard part. You need to relax and realize that this is completely normal. It will happen in any relationship.

If you have concerns, you talk to your partner. You don't have fake bad moods, that's just ridiculous.