anyone else feel this way?

i feel shitty.i make myself feel shitty.does anyone else use a defence mechanism to seem less socially anxious but it DOESNT WORK.like me,i act like im not all there to seem like im not nervous.its true cuz im not all there wit people,only cuz i worry instead of be wit the people.the way i act makes me seem more socially phobic,than if i actually tryed to talk and really be nervous.u know?

I usually put an act on that i am friendly and i smile but it usually makes me feel worse.

i gouge my eyes out

not really though

I quit acting friendly to an extent. If someone wants to be friendly with me, I'll act friendly (to the best of my ability. ha) but other than that I just embrace the crazy (keeping to myself, awkward body language, ext).

Being a little crazy lends a certain extent of charisma, these days. :roll:

I heard that Jimmy Stuart had SAD too, he booked many of his early jobs because he left an impression of being 'mysterious' on directors. (HA!)