Anyone else feels like they are not meant to be in relationships?

Well, I can't see myself in a relationship. It would be nice to love someone and be loved, but all the physical part sounds distant, let alone sex. Not that I am uncomfortable with it, I don't know what it is. I do want to share my life and my love with someone else who wants to do the same. I am very weird and I'd need someone very weird as well so we can at least be friends. And honestly, I'd be more than happy just to find a friend like that.

Agent_Violet said:

the fact that I left my husband a few months ago and am divorcing him says I'm not meant to be in relationships.

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Wow, so sorry to hear that. :: Are you okay?

Well, I feel like I could handle being single forever. I don't necessarily want to be lonely though, and I like the feeling of being loved and protected. Although I do tend to ruin relationships since I'm so insecure and depressed most of the time. So I'm always thinking their cheating on me. Doesn't help I've really been cheated on before.

Another reason I ruin relationships is because I'm so insecure during our times of intimacy, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and don't feel sexy and it shows for sure. And who wants an unconfident lady?

I feel like the older I get the harder it is to find someone and open up. You guys know what I mean. I feel like were in different worlds or something. They can function, I can't.
Kind of embarrassing? Sometimes.

Also, they deserve better then what i have to offer right now...

I, too, feel like I'm not meant to be in a relationship all because it's hard for me to get passed my own negative outlook of the way I am. Sometimes I think there's just so many things that I need to improve on like being emotionally stable, finishing my education, more experience with various jobs or finally getting my career settled... or something like that. I just feel like at this point, I'm not quite ready yet or maybe people can sense that I'm not there yet based on my level of confidence.

Hmm... I need to socialize with more different people I guess... but I'm fine with the way I interact with people. I tend to reach out to the ones who are a little shy and more introverted but are interested in being my friend. But when it comes to meeting potential soulmates, it doesn't seem like it'll happen anytime soon. I imagine myself waiting until I've already established success in my own life and getting close to that point where dating is so low in my priority list that I've made plans on adopting a child from a third world country. It would be nice to have at least one beautiful friendship with the opposite sex for a long period of time with the hopes that the friendship will grow into a romantic relationship.

It's topics like these that I dread contemplating on, followed by a forlorn sigh. :-/ Sometimes I'd rather that I focus my attention on things that fuel my passion for art or science or economic crisis, which require a lot of studying and research... work that is all too time consuming but at least prevents me from moaning my lack of fun and adventure in the dating department. 'Cause they say, 'someday it'll happen, you just have to wait.' And sometimes I hate myself for obsessing over these things every now and then.

tinygirl.93 said:

Well, I feel like I could handle being single forever. I don't necessarily want to be lonely though, and I like the feeling of being loved and protected. Although I do tend to ruin relationships since I'm so insecure and depressed most of the time. So I'm always thinking their cheating on me. Doesn't help I've really been cheated on before.

Another reason I ruin relationships is because I'm so insecure during our times of intimacy, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and don't feel sexy and it shows for sure. And who wants an unconfident lady?

I feel like the older I get the harder it is to find someone and open up. You guys know what I mean. I feel like were in different worlds or something. They can function, I can't.
Kind of embarrassing? Sometimes.

Also, they deserve better then what i have to offer right now...

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So it's the same for women in rergards to being confident? I assumed that it was ok for the woman to be unconfident whereas the man is expected to be confident.

Yeah, I feel I'm not meant to be in a relationship. I've sort of gave up on the idea, to be honest. I think I need to come to terms with idea of my physical disability and my sexuality before I even consider the idea of a relationship.

Well my temprement, eg: hot tempered, jealous, clingy, needy characteristics don't quite make me a suitable partner in relationships. Sad but true. I wasn't like this before, but going through certain events in my life coupled with SA made me a very sensitive (I always think people are against me) and angry person.

lurknomore said:

I feel like I'm not meant to be in a relationship- but not because I've had many bad experiences, it's because I've had so few experiences in relationships, and more don't seem to be forthcoming. I've always gone along with the attitude that if something is meant to happen it will, but it's very frustrating when what you want to happen never does- and I don't even have a clue how to become proactive about it.

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THIS perfectly sums up my attitude towards the issue. I also feel like I've wasted to many chances and I'm starting to get old.

I just dont feel like I have all that much to offer. Why settle for me when you can find all of what I can humbly offer.... in someone else - someone stronger, more graceful, more intelligent, more handsome.

Why settle when there is better out there than what I can give.

Etc etc and so forth...

ShyKiwi said:

I just dont feel like I have all that much to offer. Why settle for me when you can find all of what I can humbly offer.... in someone else - someone stronger, more graceful, more intelligent, more handsome.

Why settle when there is better out there than what I can give.

Etc etc and so forth...

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Your a great guy with loads to offer I'm certain, Kiwi. I do wish you would recognize that. I do completely understand your feelings, though, because I think the exact same way. I sincerely consider myself so far beneath everyone. I don't want to subject anyone I would care about to having a relationship with someone, in my opinion, is way below everyone else.

There are seven billion people on earth. There will always be someone stronger, more graceful, more intelligent, more handsome.

It's not about settling, it's not about comparing at all. It's about finding someone with the unique combination of traits that makes spending time with them rewarding.

For me anyway.

Well yeah...

Its not about comparing... but I think for some people it might be. It certainly feels that way sometimes.... and I find it difficult to convince myself otherwise. Although - it is encouraging to hear that too.

Oh I dont know. Its probably best not for me to think about it.

Thanks Shyangel - you aint so bad yourself you know.

Aletheia said:

There are seven billion people on earth. There will always be someone stronger, more graceful, more intelligent, more handsome.

It's not about settling, it's not about comparing at all. It's about finding someone with the unique combination of traits that makes spending time with them rewarding.

For me anyway.

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Since Coyote isn't about right now, I'll just "borrow" this from his images album.

The biggest mystery in the universe is man's understanding of women. But I do think that often women are more superficial in their tastes in men when they are younger. And as they get older, confidence, patience, kindness and love become more important. Looks and worldliness success become secondary in importance.

Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.

(Anaïs Nin)

To live is to be in relationship with life. Life is alien to me.