I understand what you mean about people being avoidant to you if you show any sign of feelings of depression/anxiety/shyness. Although, maybe I made a small error in what I wrote when I said everyone will be put off by someone who constantly shows their emotions. I didn't mean to generalize like that, but unfortunately, not too many people in this world are sympathetic/caring of others when it comes to their needs. I think only fewer people in this world's population seem to have those good qaulities in themselves, are either very rare or they've befriended people who aren't as nice and genuine. I think that, in a way, the nature we live in is just full of ironies and confusion.
I mean, people like us, somehow for I don't know any reason that can be explained as to why this happens to us, people like us attract others who aren't on the same level as us. We almost always seem to attract others we're not compatible with, and this sort of thing frustrates me because the people I've attracted to so far are the types of people who are controlling, bossy, or downright hostile. I don't understand it because I've tried all I can to be nice and friendly, it's not in my nature to rude to others. That would be out of my character. I don't know if maybe coincidentally, that it could be some kind of reverse pyschology where the people we aren't attracted to, are attracted to us.
People who are our opposties, just somehow tend to gravitate torwards us, especially those without social anxiety. To be honest, I really could not be around people I wasn't compatible with if that person sees me expressing my emotions automatically labeled as clingy or whiny. If the person honestly saw me in that way, whether that be if it's a friendship or relationship, I'd end up leaving that person. If me being emotional for alll these years because of the problems I went through is too much for them to handle, then I'd have to just leave them because I know I'd just be wasting people's time and my own energy in having to explain my own feelings. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh like that, but I think I'd be even more miserable to have somebody who isn't sympathetic of my needs than to have no one at all. Although that's not easy to do so, it would be the best thing that would be needed to be done. I wouldn't just do it for my own sake, but theirs too. I don't know, I guess maybe the best option to go by would to be alone and not bother anyone with my problems/depression. I would take part of the blame on myself if I'd ever drag that person down along with my depression. It just wouldn't be fair, I guess.
I do agree as well, that maybe part of the reason people seem to be put off by us is how we carry ourselves. Now, I won't deny that I'm a weirdo. I've done incredibly strange things, whether I'm around people or alone. I mean, I've seen a lot of pretty bizzare things in my life as well, some that have sadly led a distressing impact on me. However, that's besides the point.
I know I'm one of those people that will probably never seem to fit in with everyone else (don't mean to sound like a boring cliche, but I guess it's what it is), but I don't mean to be different because i want to prove others that I'm better than everyone else. I'm tryng hard not to do that. I don't mean to come across as being different because I want to make others feel jealous (guys or girls) or that I want to be treated like God's gift just because I may have some interesting qaulities about myself. It doesn't make me that special. I'm sure many other people possess the same exact qualities and traits that I have so there's no reason why anyone should praise me because I have things that some people around me don't have. You know, funnily enough, I go as far as to question my own sexuality, even though that's a little off subject of what we're talking about. I like to look into learning about things such as that (gay people, androgonyus people, asexuals, ect.)Somehow, I guess that intrigues me to learn about what kind of gender sexualities there are out there. I've even felt myself become attracted to some women whom I've found attractive. I'm also interested in learning to play different instruments like the guitar or piano, but I know that many people have that talent as well. If only everyone in this world was acceptive of others and didn't care about what they do in their lifestyles, I honestly think the world would not entirely be in the mess that its in now. It's just that there's too many people (not all of them, but very many) in this world lack these qaulities of supportiveness, careness, kindness, thoughtfulness, and so on. I think if it hadn't been for the media and society, I don't know how else people could get their own perspective/view on how things should be, even though the things they say or do can harm other people or the environment as well. Sorry, this sounds confusing to read. Maybe there'll possible come a time in the future where things will slowly start to progress better, but I guess in the mean time, we'll just have to take each day as it comes as they say.