I have to go in the closed doors. I cannot stand the thought of exposing my penis in public. Awful judgements could follow. I can go to public toilets if I go in the locked toilets though, unless they are dirty or something.
I was thinking the other day back to a situation when I was 11. This could of been one of the first signs of my SA. Before an excursion in year 5, we all had to go to the toilet. So I went, but I physically could not piss. Then I got anxious that other people would notice this for some reason. The private toilets were full so I began to panic. It was painful, because I really needed to go, and I began panicking and crying. I had to go home later that day because I had somewhat a panic attack before going on the bus. One of the worst days in my life.