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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I'm not suicidal at all, but I just find living to be a PITA and if given a choice would not have been born.

I don't enjoy very much at all, if anything. I see no point in living, because no matter what I accomplish I will die anyway. So you spend life forging relationships and working hard just to achieve the same inevitable end. It seems so meaningless.

It's probably why religion was started...to give meaning to something ultimately meaningless.

But anyone else non suicidal but just doesn't enjoy living?

"Hell is other people."- Sartre

<------ depressed, anxious, schizoid with ADD.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I always feel there is something amazing waiting for me in life

Vexation
Internal void
Songs that make the hours go
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

i used to be that way more but sense im 30 yrs old now i don't wanna die nor do i hate living. "It is what it is" and it's up to you to make a positive out of your life. You nor I can go around hating living and reach our full potentials in life.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Im not suicidal. I just couldnt imagine hanging myself or cutting myself or anything like that. Atleast I know i'm a little bit sane if i cant do that.

Im just depressed. I was out yesterday in the sunshine and i even felt bad then. Im just a bore to be around so i dont enjoy life much :/

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Yeah, I hate living too. It's pointless indeed, and it's so unfair. But atm I'll never try a suicide attempt, I'm just too young to do that already, maybe something's good could happen. But offcourse, never say never, that's for everyone.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Yeah I definately wouldn't say that I am suicidal but definately starting to hate living more and more everyday. I am pretty sure I know where the feeling comes from for me and it is the fear of living this very boring life that I am currently living. I have been single for a great deal of my adult life (nearly 27), I have a fear that I will never find someone and settle down like most people do and constantly being reminded of other peoples happiness while I can't seem to find anything to make me happy.

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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

It's sunny outside and seriously depressing. As i have got older i have become much less suicidal, i keep thinking that i can solve my problems. Still dislike most people and life's totally pointless, but so is playing a computer game, and i still do it. Maybe we should all consider life as one big game, and the rules other people set out for us, are wrong for us. Live life your way and not theirs. They will hate us for it, but they hate us anyway.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I often think like you. And even if I tried to believe in an afterlife, a mission or reincarnation... i get a second thought like "what if that's just some crap that humans created just to fool themselves?" or something... I feel like everything I'm doing is pointless.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Quote:
Originally Posted by geowol View Post
It's sunny outside and seriously depressing. As i have got older i have become much less suicidal, i keep thinking that i can solve my problems. Still dislike most people and life's totally pointless, but so is playing a computer game, and i still do it. Maybe we should all consider life as one big game, and the rules other people set out for us, are wrong for us. Live life your way and not theirs. They will hate us for it, but they hate us anyway.
I like that combination of words !! Too bad it's harder then just doing it.
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Old 05-23-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

My current state of living is so droll and drab, I used to think about what would happen if I died. I used to think nobody would care, which is a selfish thought, because some people would care and when others found out they would be saddened.

However, the world would not change much other than my family.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

The thing is, I don't have the courage to kill myself, so I have no choice but to continue living bravely, such is my life.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I can honestly say that I go to bed at night hoping not to wake up, then wake up pissed because I did.

I am much happier sleeping than any other time. When I sleep the pain is gone.

"Hell is other people."- Sartre

<------ depressed, anxious, schizoid with ADD.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigrob View Post
I see no point in living, because no matter what I accomplish I will die anyway. So you spend life forging relationships and working hard just to achieve the same inevitable end. It seems so meaningless.
It's easy to get depressed when we see life this way (and I'm guilty of that from time to time too), but why define the meaning of life (or anything) by its ending? Everything has a start and an end, but what really matters is the bit in between. With music for example... even if a song ends after 4 minutes, it doesn't make it any less moving or meaningful. A roller-coaster ride doesn't become any less powerful because it ends a couple of minutes later. The point of your life is not related to the fact that it will end someday. It's about what you choose to do with the 'bit in between'. Find things that interest you and focus on them. There is no other point to life in my opinion.

I know it's easier said than done... but what I mean to say is once you accept that there is no real meaning to life, you can start to just 'live it'.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sundaygirl View Post
you won't feel this badly forever, bigrob. things will improve for you, and then thoughts like those will just be so in the past
actually I've felt this way about as long as I can remember....at least 15-20 years (I'm 38)

"Hell is other people."- Sartre

<------ depressed, anxious, schizoid with ADD.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigrob View Post
actually I've felt this way about as long as I can remember....at least 15-20 years (I'm 38)
I feel the same way bigrob, and I am going to be 42 this year. I have felt that life is meaningless just like you, and it was because of my parents selfishness that brought me into this world so they could use me as their punching bag, all the while my sister was pampered and spoiled rotten and could never do anything wrong. Since I was around 6 or 7 I started feeling like this, hating life and to scared to die. Stuck in a state of purgatory and constant pain of having to live life without someone who cares for me. I know my attitude would probably change a little bit if I were to ever find a significant other to share my life with. My life would improve, but until then being stuck in a rut of pure existence, just using up resources to keep my body alive.

Never send a human to do a machine's job.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I sometimes feel a little suicidal..but never plan. Im too scared to kill myself. I also wouldn't say i hate living.

I do get into desperate states of hopelessness and emotional pain though. I dont fully believe i'll ever be stable enough to live my life and meet someone..so i sometimes think i have no choice but to die somewhere down the line.
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I understand what you mean, I feel that whatever I do is pointless and meaningless but i still try to enjoy the ride and not become like my former best friend
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Does it make any sense that I think/feel the same way, yet I am still happy with what I have going for me. Sure it's nothing glorious haha, I dislike about everyone around me, and my job is a nightmare everyday.. Knowing that it will all be over with at some point makes it not so bad. Wow.. That sounds like a really morbid way to think about it :S

One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain.
-Bob Marley
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Old 05-24-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

Yeah, something like that. I get pretty bummed out sometimes, but I'm not suicidal. I often think, I hate myself and I hate my life, but it isn't so bad that I'd ever want to end it. That's selfish. I'm mostly a pessimist, but I still hope things will be okay someday. I don't really expect happiness. I just want contentment. I'm not there yet, nor have I ever been. I was pretty miserable even as a child. I remember I often cried and complained that I hated myself. My mom's only response to that was "You're supposed to love yourself," as if that would suddenly change my mind or something. I also remember saying I wished I hadn't been born. She was seriously offended by that. I think she just got angry and yelled at me for it. Even when she went to parent-teacher interviews, they always had great things to say about me as a student, but they often commented that I never smiled. I remember wondering, what is there to smile about? I was usually pretty moody and still am. The warning signs were all there, but nobody ever clued in to the possibility that something might be seriously wrong with me. Instead I suffered my whole life and had to figure it all out for myself later on. I still feel like crap but at least now I more or less understand what's wrong with me and why.
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Old 06-02-2010  
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Default Re: anyone not suicidal, but hate living?

I think if i'm still the same within a year then im going to do something.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
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