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Old 02-06-2008  
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Default appearance and confidence

do you have more confidence in your appearance or your intellect?

i know I'm intelligent, but I still lack confidence in it. I also don't think Im very pretty. actually sometimes I look in the mirror and wish I didnt know me. I have very low confidence in my appearance, and this affects my confidence in other areas of my life.

all of this together makes me a very shy and withdrawn person. I think if I were more confident with my appearance Id be less shy. is this the case for other people?
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Old 02-06-2008  
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I think it helps to accept the way you are today. Be confident about that person first, and then decide if you want to change your appearance. One thing i've learned is that wanting to change your appearance for yourself is a much better feeling than believing you must change your appearance for anyone else. I used to think i was very unattractive and still sort of do but ive decided that i like smiling in the mirror anyway because it makes me feel good. Something I never allowed myself to do in the past. You should try something like that.
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Old 02-06-2008  
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Yes it is the same for me too! I probably have more in my intellect, although I don't have much in either. I completely hate myself in most ways actually. With intellect sometimes I feel a little smart, sometimes not so smart, and more often than not I feel pretty stupid.

Appearance is so much worse though. I hate it so much that I am completely obsessed with it. I sepend hours a day looking in the mirror seeing what's wrong with me and how it needs to be fixed. I feel so so ugly, and my opinion on that never really changes. Sometimes I just with a could have a bag over my head and that no one could ever see my face!
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Old 02-06-2008  
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is that ur pic on ur avatar? cuz if it is, i dont think u r ugly
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Old 02-06-2008  
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I also struggle with confidence in my appearance, but I'm slowly learning to accept myself for the way I already am. I think that's the first step to overcoming a lot obstacles in my life. :oops:
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Old 02-08-2008  
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I think I am a pretty good looking person, but I still have terrible self-esteem. I certainly have more confidence in my appearance than intellect.

I am pretty smart (though sometimes a slow learner), I had a 4.0 in HS and made Magna Cum laude in college. But, I suck at verbal communication, so I end up looking quite dumb at times because of it.
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Old 02-08-2008  
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Urm both are pretty laaame for me, appearance im rarely happy with...suprising what a confidence boost you get when you do feel like you look good though.

And intellect, well im pretty good at the no common sense thing.....all in all i think im pretty slow, can usually come up with something alright if i'm given the time though. I'm better over the net but in person my most used words are likely "i dunno" but that's also sometimes to get the attention off me.

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Old 02-08-2008  
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I can sometimes feel pretty confident if I'm wearing something decent...which is jeans...the only decent garment of clothing I have that makes me feel good...all my other clothes are old and outdated so yeah...wearing something nice might boost your confidence...it does for me.
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Old 02-09-2008  
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I dont even know what looks good half the time, and when I do "dress up" I always worry that I didnt wear something the right way and people will laugh at me for it.

and make up? forget it! I tried putting on eye liner today and just didnt know how. it made me look like i had bags under my eyes haha

any attempt I make at improving my appearance usually just backfires
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Old 02-09-2008  
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Hmm I don't think I have ever thought that I am good looking. Certainly not confident about my looks.

As for intelligence, well when I was growing up I thought I was not bad. Since I couldn't do sports either, being good at school studies was in fact one of the few things that made me feel good about myself.

But things started to change towards later in school years and particularly at uni. I don't know if its because other people started picking up their game (in terms of studies) or I just wasn't cut out for higher studies or maybe stress of adolescence/change to adulthood and SP particularly made things difficult.

Now with the work environment were I work I feel like a dumb *******. So now one of the few things that made me feel good about myself has gone. So no, I don't feel confident about my intellect or appearance and Yes I do think both of these things (well at least your perception of it) do affect your outlook in life and shyness.


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