Are you afraid to say no to people ?
- Thread starter Bo592
- Start date
worrywort
Well-known member
no, not really
only joking
Yea sometimes it's hard. I don't want to be seen as being rude or self centred or weird. If I could perhaps stop giving such a shit what people think of me it might be easier. But then sometimes that sense of guilt that makes me feel I should say yes, I wonder whether it's real, if you know what I mean? Like, being seen as a bad person is one thing, but actually being a bad person is quite another. It's hard to distinguish between these two sometimes. Although to be honest I think it's alright to be a little bit bad sometimes too, so maybe we should say no more often and not care so much....let ourselves off the hook a bit more.
only joking
Yea sometimes it's hard. I don't want to be seen as being rude or self centred or weird. If I could perhaps stop giving such a shit what people think of me it might be easier. But then sometimes that sense of guilt that makes me feel I should say yes, I wonder whether it's real, if you know what I mean? Like, being seen as a bad person is one thing, but actually being a bad person is quite another. It's hard to distinguish between these two sometimes. Although to be honest I think it's alright to be a little bit bad sometimes too, so maybe we should say no more often and not care so much....let ourselves off the hook a bit more.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, very much so.
Because ah don't want to be seen as bad or selfish for not doing summit when somebuddy asks. Or disappointin' people... Ah know, ah need tae change that aboot masel'.
Because ah don't want to be seen as bad or selfish for not doing summit when somebuddy asks. Or disappointin' people... Ah know, ah need tae change that aboot masel'.
Earthcircle
Well-known member
I feel that I have no right to say no, since the other person is superior to me anyway.
migthymask
Well-known member
yeah I don't know how say no to people, it brings me a lot of problems at work because I can't do all task that I should, and recently I got a girlfriend because I couldn't say no her
MotherWolff
Banned
It is for me sometimes. I think its cause I do not wanna hurt people's feelings or get rejected......
But we have the right to say no to things we do not want to do.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
no. seriously. if the answer is no, its no
Argentum
Well-known member
I don't think it's saying no so much as it is figuring out how to say no. I'm very good at getting people to relax and open up in a conversation, but the downside to this is that I get a lot of people who see it as permission to ignore what I have to say, only talk to me when they want to vent, etc.
I don't know if they're all dicks or if some are genuinely clueless, but I tend to just find ways to quietly squirm free if mentioning it once doesn't work.
I don't know if they're all dicks or if some are genuinely clueless, but I tend to just find ways to quietly squirm free if mentioning it once doesn't work.
avoidance
I kind of am, but I tend to use to avoidance strategy. I ignore people way too much or make up stupid excuses as to why I can't do something. I need to learn the proper of way of saying no or rejecting someone. I don't like doing it, but it's necessary sometimes, and it's probably super rude of me to just ignore people.
I kind of am, but I tend to use to avoidance strategy. I ignore people way too much or make up stupid excuses as to why I can't do something. I need to learn the proper of way of saying no or rejecting someone. I don't like doing it, but it's necessary sometimes, and it's probably super rude of me to just ignore people.
sazz
Member
I find it very very hard to say no. I know that people just use me, but my thought process tells me that if I do what they want, then they will be my friend. I have lost money due to lending it to people who never paid me back, I have ended up in bed with guys who I didn't want to be in that situation with, I have gone out after being woken up at all hours to pick someone up from wherever, and I know that technically, if I say no to something and that person turns their back on me then they ere never really a friend, but I don't like to make anyone annoyed at me, I crave acceptance, and I learnt in my teen years that people like me more when I'm a yes person. It's horrible, I know, and I'm trying to fix it, but even then saying no becomes a confrontational thing and I try to avoid that as much as possible.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Yes, I really hate turning people down/away and usually want to find a way to help, or make whatever work. I have gotten better about it though, and have become less caring about others, and more about myself. I also hate conflict so, saying no, represents it in my mind. I say no and then there is some form of conflict. Now I am more likely to fight for what I want and not fear the results so much.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Soooooo.... whatcha doin Saturday night
Pfft...
Sorry, ah couldnae help masel' there. :bigsmile:
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Soooooo.... whatcha doin Saturday night
yeah whatever :kickingmyself:
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Case in point. I once worked a very low wage job and was on a shift with a woman who moved to my state from Alabama. She had no car-I have no idea how she got to work or why she was even living in my town-she was completely out of place. She needed to go to the welfare office to get on food stamps or some public assistance program- and it was a haul for me to drive her there, over a mountain pass about 30 miles RT. She had a little kid or two so I felt pretty sorry for her BUT I have never heard such racism in my life! The stories about her Grandma were even worse. I was literally sick from being with her. Then I had to work 12 hr shifts with her it was about all I could take not to punch her in the face.
Just say NO!:thumbup:
Just say NO!:thumbup: