Are you close with your siblings?

SadSally

Well-known member
I am not. I am female, 19 and my brother is 26. We still live in the same house with our mom but we are not close at all. We have nothing in common and we never hang out or even talk much. The only time I get to have a few minutes to speak to him is when he picks me up from the grocery store with my mom once a week. Even in the car, when I try to talk to him he has no interest in what I have to say. I'll ask him about what movies,music and interests he likes and he is so unresponsive it frustrates me. All he says is "I don't know" or something along those lines. The only thing we have in common is that we both like "The Simpsons" but even when I ask him about the show he has no interest in talking to me. It's so annoying. I know that he's my brother but I feel like I don't know him at all. I've tried to have real conversations with him but he just refuses to contribute. I don't anything REAL him, you know, like his religious beliefs, goals, hobbies and other stuff. He is also introverted but not as much as me. He won't even tell me the name of his friends or tell me anything about his work.
He's smart and is there for me if I need help with an online application or something like technical support for my laptop, but we don't have a friendship.
I think that if we were closer in age and the same gender, we'd be much closer. I really wish I had a sister. I could hang out with a sister and we could go shopping. You can't do that with a brother.
What do you think? Also, what about you guys?
 
Hmm... I think you're right about the age difference and being a different gender contributing to your lack of closeness. Have you tried just confronting him about it? I know it can be uncomfortable, but what do you have to lose - the two of you already aren't close. At the very least you might get some answers and maybe he can gain some insight on how you feel.

I can relate somewhat to how you feel - I am the youngest of 4. I have two much older brothers (14 and 10 year age difference) and an older sister who is 2.5 years older than me. I don't really like my oldest brother - with the exception of recent years, he has always been a **** to me. I also don't really like him as a person, so we barely talk to eachother. My other brother and I get along fine, but we aren't extremely close or anything. Both of my brothers (aside from being a lot older than me) have a different father, so there has always been a divide there. My sister and I, on the other hand, are very close. People always think we're twins which is actually really annoying lol.
 
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MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Not close to my older brothers at all. We can go for yrs without talking. It is weird to me but we were never close so I guess that is ok. I have to admit it does bother me only at holidays or when I see other families who are close. Otherwise I don't think about it too much.
I do envy people who have close relationships with their siblings.
My brothers officially hate each other due to a big issue a few hrs ago so now I am also not talking to them. Before we at least would email and call at Christmas.
I hope it gets better between them, but it probably won't.
I really miss my oldest brother but since he and my other brother don't talk now he has stopped communicating with me. That pisses me off a lot and makes me really sad when I think about it. I cry sometimes because I wish he and I were still ok. Then I get mad. Then I get sad again. I really don't think about it to keep from feeling that.
 

TheNomad

Well-known member
It depends on the family, I guess. I am close with my 4 year older brother (I am a male). But some of my friends have relationships similar to yours.

Were you always like this? If not, maybe there is a reason for the distance?

Also I agree that confronting him about this is the best way, although hard to initiate.
 

Odo

Banned
I haven't spoken to her in 2 years and the last time I did it wasn't great... so, no.
 

Argentum

Well-known member
Nope, and I haven't been since I was young.

My sister moved away for several years when I was a teenager, though we used to keep in touch by e-mail when they was still a thing. Eventually I sank into a depression, never talked about it, and we ran out of actual things to talk about. She moved back to our home state and now lives on a farm a couple hours away complete with chickens, ducks, and other animals.

My oldest brother has always been a very private person, so we've never really had an opportunity to be close. He used to spend most of his time playing the piano or guitar, working on models, or studying. Now he's an engineer and spends most of his time with his wife and children or on hobbies.

My other brother developed severe vision problems when he was young, and they've caused him a lot of trouble. He can barely see well enough to cross a street, his color vision and peripheral is going, and he pretty much spends all of his time alone. When we were young he was a funny guy, but he's become so standoffish that I don't know how to reach out anymore and I feel like I failed somehow. He took care of me when our parents were AWOL for awhile after the divorce.
 
Wow, lots of people here who dislike their siblings. I know quite a few others as well.

One sibling is too young for me to be close to. The other is older than him but much younger than me, but we get along fine. I dislike one of my three other siblings (all closer to me in age) and am close to two of them, although one much more than the other.
 

CrazyGirl

Well-known member
I've always been the black sheep of the family. Ironically, my mother used to say family is all you really have & will always be there for you. Um, yeah, sure, whatever.... Healthy families don't make you feel like you aren't part of the "social circle". Healthy families make an effort to keep in touch.
 
I like my sister, she's a good person.

My oldest brother is an awful human being, though. My other brother is nice, but constantly makes my life a hell due to his frankly horrible life decisions. I can be with them in a room without nastiness, but I wouldn't say I particularly care for my brothers.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I wouldn't say I'm close to my three elder brothers and that's disintegrated over the last 3-4 years since my anxiety/depression/stress increased and it's never recovered.

There's an age gap between us but not massive. If we watch sports together, we chat and it's fun but other than that, I keep my distance. My three elder brothers grew up together so they're more closer and also they know more people where as no-one knows I am in the community which is a good thing I guess..

I prefer to keep myself to myself and short and sweet. However, my sister is older than me I get on with really well and am more my true self with her.
 
My family just sucks in general, I can tolerate some of them, but the only one who I'm close with is my younger brother. I gotta look after that little fella.
 

Ransfordrowe

Well-known member
Hi.Try not to take it personaly but I know perceived rejection can be tough on the ego.
It seems that your brother has issues of his own which affects his behaviour.Some families are not close and you have tried to connect with him but it has not worked.Accepting you love each probably but are not close is important I think.You can not make someone become close to you and trying too hard can actually push some people away if they like you said are introverted.

Analysing why you are trying so hard could be important and helpful.Are you trying to fill an emotional void or not.Good luck.
 

jayfan

Well-known member
not at all. i have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and all but one live about 700 miles away so ill talk to them once in awhile but not close at all. We are all totally different people and most of them are so judgmental and are quick to try to bring a person down. i keep my distance and keep it civil but dont really care to be close to them.
the one that im closest to is a gang member and the only things we have in common is our love for sports so well hang out and watch games together but other then that we dont hang out at all.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I have two younger brothers. I am 20, th middle is 17, and the youngest is 14. Me and the middle brother get along fine, we love a lot of similar things and both have autism, hell he's even friends with my friends. But the youngest well I know it's harsh but I think I hate him. I can't stand to be in his presence and when he speaks I get angry. He calls me names and just abuses me emotionally so I return the hate. He has nothing in common with me and I have real hate for him. My mom says if anything happened to him I'd be devestated, and I reply with no I won't and I really mean it. So yes I get along with a sibling.
 
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