Are you easy opening up to people?

gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
I have had tremedous difficulty with this, especially during my depression.

I have created a shell around me that tries to keep up a "brave" facade (afraid of opening himself up) but I've had enough of it. Going to the therapist for the first time really opened me up in a way that will hopefully make me less shy, distrusting and angry at/of people, and makes me be more open.

Tonight I talked to a person I know, and for the first time in a long time had a real conversation, without the bull$hit. People have noticed me retreating more and more, and have obviously been wondering what is going on. The guy asked why they "haven't seen me so much lately" and I pretty much told him my story. It may have been a bit weird, but he showed understanding and I feel better about it now. Hopefully a first step has been made in trying to restore relationships with people.
 
F

Foxface

Well-known member
I used to be easy opening up to people, too easy, becuase when we got to the point of mentioning our lives, I would tell my whole story, now I try to hold back as much as possible.

I used to have an uncontrollable urge to say my input, when I wasn't suppose to or when it didn't matter. I was part of a Facebook group/page thingie, and the people are mean to me sometimes, becuase they would twist my words around and throw me flat on my back. I don't say much there now. I see the posts on the updated wall posts on the Facebook home page (where it shows everyone's posts). I was almost tempted to, and almost replied to a post, and then I step back and told myself no. I was proud of that. I'm slowly learning (the hard way), not to say or do things I shouldn't, or that would get me hurt. I keep my input, to a minmum these days. Only every once and awhile.
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
Foxface said:
I used to be easy opening up to people, too easy, becuase when we got to the point of mentioning our lives, I would tell my whole story, now I try to hold back as much as possible.
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Why though? It sounds like you've had quite negative experiences opening up?

For me it comes as a relief. Finally being open about my $hit. I've been living a lie for pretty long. Of course it takes understanding people to really be able to talk to on a "real" level.

I agree though that there must be a certain limit to how much you show yourself in a vulnerable manner. But I don't think opening up is a negative thing. It's part of being an adult to be able to show your vulnerable side imo.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
I used to NEVER tell people about my depression and anxiety, because I felt it was something that I had to carry on my own.

These days, especially since starting therapy, I'm not quite as held back, and it's more of a relief to tell people.

I'm actually too open about my life to people. I should scale back.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I never open up (except here). For some reason I feel self-centered when I do, even here. Actually I feel self centered everytime I post :p But I did notice that hugs and confidence makes people like you more because it makes them feel important and appreciated. But it's hard to know who are those who wants to know you better and who doesn't care o_O
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
I never open up (except here). For some reason I feel self-centered when I do, even here. Actually I feel self centered everytime I post :p But I did notice that hugs and confidence makes people like you more because it makes them feel important and appreciated. But it's hard to know who are those who wants to know you better and who doesn't care o_O
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yes yes yes this all

except i've been opening up a lot more, and in return have friends who are super understanding and that's been the biggest benefit from being more open. I tell people straight up sometimes that I have anxiety, although that's rare. Depression is something I don't open up about as often because I find it more shameful ;/. I feel as if I open up a lot but people still tell me that I don't tell them anything... so Idk... maybe i dont
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
Only if I've known them for a while and trust them enough.
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^ Exactly this.

Although I'm A LOT more open here than I am in person too. Only because every single one of you can relate and you're all so nice, so I don't have to hold back from fear of judgment or rejection as much. And since it's a forum, it's kind of easy to open up. I don't know, but I feel I can talk much, much easier about personal problems over the internet and through writing/text than I can talking about them in person.

In person, it takes me years to open up to someone. Sad, but true. I'm finally opening up more little by little to a friend of mine about how I feel and such, and we've been friends for 6 years. Sad that it takes me that long to talk about personal issues and that sort of stuff. Kind of makes me wonder if I could even handle therapy. :/
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
I used to be quite open. But then a person I was really close to betrayed me in the worst way. Used what I had told him years ago against me during an argument. It was very hurtful and I am still not over it. It also killed the friendship. My sister says I need to have a better gauge with people and know who to trust. More skills I need to develop...

Of course, I am very open about my life here. But that is just because I feel it is a safe place. Sometimes I do get paranoid and feel I should keep more to myself...though that is the sort of behavior I want to stop. Ah. I do like being open. It is the way I sort my **** out. I just need to be selective.
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
gustavofring said:
I have created a shell around me that tries to keep up a "brave" facade (afraid of opening himself up)
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This is sooooooo me, too! I hide a lot about myself to other people, mostly because it's stuff I feel bad about.

gustavofring said:
Finally being open about my $hit. I've been living a lie for pretty long. Of course it takes understanding people to really be able to talk to on a "real" level.
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It must be very liberating to finally break free from all the hiding and living a lie. Not very many people know the "real" me because there are very few people I trust to tell that much. I've been burned in the past, so it takes a long time for me to completely open up. It's good that you've found someone who understands and that you can be so open with!
 
hardy

hardy

Well-known member
What's the point in opening up with everyone? Some of my relatives thought i was acting.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
no (depending). i'm painfully honest and have a tendency to blab every detail down to the quick... so, i have a hard time opening up to people because of self awareness of my own tendencies of making myself vulnerable... there is a healthy balance of knowing when to open up and about what... that is something to work on.
 
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