Originally Posted by MrSunday

I'm really not into that sentimental crap. >_> Ewww...relationships make me vomit. Seriously, I rather eat rat poison. It just grosses me out. I don't know why.

Originally Posted by Graeme1988

What did I say in my previous post, which you quoted, that seems sentimental? Just asking.

Originally Posted by MrSunday

I don't know... :/ It wasn't directed at your post. I just felt like replying to it. Hope I didn't upset you.

Originally Posted by Sinopia

I'm not and I thought I was after so many years, but still I'm not ready for it. I discovered this this week. I'm 26 now, never been in a relationship. I had only a few dates in the past. The guy who loves me and wanted to be with me told me that I'm emotionally too unstable to be with someone. He told me that for now I just should accept the way how it is for me. I'm meant to be alone. I failed to become a girlfriend, lover and a mother. I'm always attracted to a s s h o l e s, cuz I have a low self-esteem which makes me think that I'm only good enough for an a s s h o l e, cuz I think I don't deserve better. And this way it'll never work for me. The guy who loves me, is afraid that I'll eventually end up with an a s s h o l e, who will beat me for a few years. He does wants me to have a boyfriend and be happy with him, but he also said that it's better to stay alone, just to protect myself. My friend agrees with him, cuz I'm so unexperienced. My social contacts are still growing, but for a relationship you need to have more, besides just social contacts. It just won't work if you're unexperienced. I hate the fact that they're right. A few years ago, I didn't even want to get close to ppl. I was even afraid to make friends, cuz I've been bullied in my secondary school. It was 12 years ago already, but it took me years to trust ppl again and be ready to make friends again. Since a few years ago, I became friends with a girl from the fitness centre and since this year, I have some friends/acquintances from my previous job. I'm happy with this, but I need more. I never experienced real love or puppy love. I don't even know what to expect from a relationship, cuz I've never seen how it should be. I'm just afraid that I will be single forever. I just need someone. I feel lonely in the evening, night and weekends. I need a guy to share stuff with. I might sound desperate, but I just don't wanna end up alone. I don't even wanna think about being an old lonely lady in an old ppl's home without children and grandchildren. Nobody who will visit me. I'm used to it, but it's ****ed up.

Originally Posted by dragonoth

I think you're asking the wrong question here. In my own experience and in others' that I know, you don't think about it and see what comes your way. If an opportunity presents itself (e.g. you develop feelings for someone or a friend seems to want to take things further) you either go for it or you let it pass. The relationship itself is a huge learning process for both parties. No couple is ever 'ready' in a relationship. That just implies that you have to be a certain way in order to be in one. You don't. I've had so many ups and downs in my relationship with my current boyfriend. We are each other's firsts. Most of our problems are usually started by me but the important thing is that you work together to sort the mess out. Some people can only take so much and they give up, but remember it takes two to tango, i.e. if you're the one with problems you need to help yourself too and you don't rely solely on your other half to fix things. It takes effort and it takes time, but in the end it will be worth it.

Originally Posted by twiggle

I'm being held back by a couple of things:

1) I haven't had much luck finding guys I like, who like me back, AND who are happy to let me keep the independence which I really need. This isn't meant as a slur on guys, more a slur on myself, for not having gone out and met enough guys in order to have more chance of finding one who can be the exception. Unfortunately, many of my past relationships have been with the 'where are you going? why can't i come with you?' type and it has left me feeling slightly put-off. I need my independence and space.

2) At this stage I don't think I could cope with the emotional side of it all... because when I like somebody, I really like them... to the point where they are the ones in control of my mood, not me... and I hate that because it changes the way I am around others; and also quite dangerous I think. Essentially putting your heart into somebody else's hands. I don't like (in that way) anyone at the moment and I do feel a lot less stressed for it. But again, this is something I need to get over, because I don't want to be single forever. That said, I am quite fine on my own and have always said that if I never end up getting married then I'll do more travelling and maybe even adopt a child. There are other avenues, certainly I'm not too worried about not being in a relationship... that said, I hope one day I can experience one that is predominantly happy and long-lasting, unlike my other ones.