Moses199
Well-known member
So you're saying you used to have fear of them making sound at time as you move? not sure if i got you wrong...
Are you scared of your neighbors making sounds?
- Thread starter Moses199
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So you're saying you used to have fear of them making sound at time as you move? not sure if i got you wrong...
Sacrament
Well-known member
The more you make it a habit, the more it'll become the norm. Hopefully, in a few weeks time you'll rarely even think about it anymore. Even if there are simultaneous sounds (sometimes you and your neighbor get up from a chair at the same time and it makes noise), it's no more than a coincidence, and that's what you need to remind yourself of.
Xion
Well-known member
Yeah you got me right...
Moses199
Well-known member
Ya that's kind've true. How you think i'm making it a habit? i've doing exposure for very long time (1year) now by making alot of body movements and it works to a certain extent but not all the way. Exposure it's the only thing that has been working for me because when i dont do it, i end up barely moving. The worst that happen when i didn't do expsoure was that i complety froze in my chair and would make body movement, i looked like psycho like i've been frozen.
Sacrament
Well-known member
Try to take one vacation day from everything that concerns this particular problem. During that day, you live your life as you normally would, not focusing on the kind of movements you make, if they're paying attention, if they're gonna do the exact same thing you just did, etc. Whenever those thoughts appear, pay no mind to them (don't try to push them away, just acknowledge their presence and focus on whatever you're doing - but keep busy). At the end of the day, make note of how it went, and why it went that way. Give it a try and report back!
Moses199
Well-known member
I've taken a break from this problem before ( i was in a rehabilitation center with my own room) but when i came back home it was still the same. Also, i believe trying to get away from the problem will make it worst, because in back of my mind i would love not being around it. This would count as avoidance and everytime i've avoided this problem it got exponentially worst.
Xion
Well-known member
I overcame it by finding something to distract myself with.. And it distracted me from the fear of my neighbours making sounds the same time I move.. I kept it this way for months and it was gone..
Sacrament
Well-known member
I'm not suggesting that you ignore the problem or pretend it doesn't exist, I'm suggesting ways for you not to see it as a problem, just a minor inconvenience (in the sense that you think about it from time to time, but it becomes less and less of a problem because you slowly realize how 'silly' it is, or how there are so many more important things you could be thinking of). Ask yourself what's the worst thing that could happen. So you drag a chair or flush the toilet and your neighbor drags his chair or flushes his toilet at the same time. Then what? Does the world end? Does the Earth stop spinning and do massive volcanoes erupt all over the world, thus leading to the extinction of humanity? Worst case scenario is that your neighbor notices that the two of you did something at the same time and laughs it off because it's a silly little coincidence, and nothing else. That's how you should look at it too.
Besides, as I've said before, your neighbors are so focused on their own lives that they don't have time to 1) notice that they did something at the same time you did, and much less 2) actually make an effort to mess with your head by doing things at the exact same time you did. These are the kinds of things you should tell yourself whenever your mind starts acting up. Just take a deep breath, bring your focus back to whatever you're doing, and keep going.
Moses199
Well-known member
What kind of things you used to distract yourserlf?
How long did take before you start seeing improvements?
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Xion
Well-known member
I have done things like playing with my computer in order to distract myself.. And I still do it.. It didn't take a long time for me to see improvements.. It took me about 2 weeks to see improvements..
Moses199
Well-known member
I tried doing this today but it's very hard because i'm not always on my computer. Like for instance, i was sitting on my coach and when i want to move my feet/hands/arms i get anxiety but the simulatenous sounds happen so fast that it's hard for me distract myself. Also it was difficult to do it while i was laying on my bed. How did you do it while you were away from your computer?
Moses199
Well-known member
You got me wrong, i dont mean the neighbor makes the me move as me. I mean the make a sound the same time i take an action. I've tried doing "what's the worst can happen" method but when someone makes simultaneous sound it gives anxiety even if i think logically.
Can you tell me your opinion on this though...Why hasn't exposure worked complety for me? it works 60% but not all the way. Like i've said exposure is only thing that has worked for me since the inception of this problem. WHENEVER i dont do exposure my problem gets incredibly worst. I don't understand how it's the only thing that worked for me, but it doesn't work all the way.
Xion
Well-known member
Well, playing the computer helped me to turn off my emotions.. So, I couldn't feel anything even when I was away from my computer..It wiped out the fear I had of my neighbours making sounds..
But eventhough I don't have that fear, I have been very sensitive lately...
Sacrament
Well-known member
It doesn't work all the way because you're still afraid of it. It's like going to a job interview and being terrified that you'll be terrified, or worrying that you'll be sweating and stuttering. The fact that you're worrying about it too much will make you sweat and stutter because you're still struggling.
When you practice exposure, do you tell yourself that there's a possibility that they'll make a sound when you do, and just accept the fact that coincidences happen and don't have to mean anything? Do you practice being at peace with that possibility, and with just doing your thing without caring about what happens in your neighbor's house?
Also, at first, since it's so troublesome, spend more time out of the house. Go to the park, get busy with volunteer work, go see a movie, etc. Then, when you're at home, keep practicing and improving. Your attitude towards it has to change as well, otherwise exposure will be nothing more than a temporary placebo. Whenever your neighbors make a sound at the same time you do, just shrug it off and keep living your life.
Moses199
Well-known member
That's strange because i used to go on my pc for hours day and still felt theanxiety. Maybe we are talking about different problems. Can you tell specifically about your problem and give examples of situations you had please? so i can know this same problem as mine thanks.
Xion
Well-known member
My problem was that I used to be very scared to move from my place.. Because my neighbors made sounds at the same time as I move.. Everytime this happens I get shocked and scared..
Like when I stand up, a neighbour would make a loud sound at the same moment..
Moses199
Well-known member
I'm sorry but the distraction method hasn't been working for me i tried whole day yesterday and alot today but it takes alot of energy trying to distract myself (leaves me mentally exhausted) and when i stop doing it the anxiety comes back. Like example, i was sitting on the coach and when i get anxiety i would try focing on the walls or motion of the fan but everytime i stopped, the anxiety would return. What do you think i'm doing wrong?
Moses199
Well-known member
Yes i try to ingore the sounds when it happens and not get mad. I used to get bad while back and think they are doing it in purpose. That's probably why it became a habit is because i used to get mad when it happens and even curse at them in my head and say really bad things. Of topic, but do you think Xion's distraction method should work because i been trying it but the fear returns when i stop distracting myself and it leaves me exhausted. I will keep trying though in other ways because it's worth it.
Sacrament
Well-known member
I can't tell you if his method works or not because I don't have the same issue. Won't kill you to try, though. Try any methods (positive methods) that you can think of until you find something that works, maybe even a combination of several different things. Whatever you do don't give in to the whole fear thing, and keep reminding yourself that it has no logical reason to be.