Are you stuck in your own head?

I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was younger, but I think I've grown out of it for the most part, and am now left with normal symptoms of social anxiety disorder. I wanted to reach out to you guys and ask how much you feel you have in common with me, because I honestly feel the online social anxiety and even some aspects of the asperger's online community are the only ones who can relate to my problems.

I feel like even if I were to become quicker with my social skills, I still won't feel like I really connect with people. It's not that I see people as objects, it's just that when I communicate, it takes so much calculation on my part. Even when I make them laugh I think "Yes! They understand my humor! Mwhaha, maybe I am slightly normal!" rather than feeling a sense of connection with them.

I think I still must be somewhere on the autistic spectrum, even though I have no problem reading people's emotions. I just feel too literal, like I'm in a black/white, yes/no, overly logical mindset most of the time, and I just can't relax and live in the moment.

I used to be angry at the world because I felt the mainstream population is shallow and easily entertained (which is somewhat true), but now I think most anger directed at the world is a form of self-loathing - frustration for not being able to be the person you feel it's so easy for everyone else to be. Maybe I'd be shallow too if my insecurities didn't force me to need to always feel... analytically superior, for lack of a better term. Most people on the middle or far end of the spectrum are forced to accept who they are, but I'd say I'm not too severe a case, so I'm still confused about where I stand and what my potential actually is. "Just accept who you are" sounds like good advice, but I don't know who the heck I am or what I'm capable of being. I just know that feeling like I'm half normal, half alien is a somewhat lonely existence since I feel no one is that combination in the same way I am.

Anyway, I'm in college studying music, and I'd say I have more in common with the teachers than the students. But I can still get by and function, though I'm by myself most of the time.

So are you also stuck in your head most of the time, unable to connect with people, or do you feel like you can connect, but are just scared of rejection? Thanks!
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
Hmm, that's a good question. It's really hard to answer because my anxiety skews my view of it. At this point in time I would say that I simply have trouble connecting to people and even caring whether or not I get to know them better. BUT, on a good day I find myself caring more about opening up to others and getting to know them. So maybe it is just a deep-seated fear of rejection that makes me feel indifferent.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was younger, but I think I've grown out of it for the most part, and am now left with normal symptoms of social anxiety disorder. I wanted to reach out to you guys and ask how much you feel you have in common with me, because I honestly feel the online social anxiety and even some aspects of the asperger's online community are the only ones who can relate to my problems.

I feel like even if I were to become quicker with my social skills, I still won't feel like I really connect with people. It's not that I see people as objects, it's just that when I communicate, it takes so much calculation on my part. Even when I make them laugh I think "Yes! They understand my humor! Mwhaha, maybe I am slightly normal!" rather than feeling a sense of connection with them.

I think I still must be somewhere on the autistic spectrum, even though I have no problem reading people's emotions. I just feel too literal, like I'm in a black/white, yes/no, overly logical mindset most of the time, and I just can't relax and live in the moment.

I used to be angry at the world because I felt the mainstream population is shallow and easily entertained (which is somewhat true), but now I think most anger directed at the world is a form of self-loathing - frustration for not being able to be the person you feel it's so easy for everyone else to be. Maybe I'd be shallow too if my insecurities didn't force me to need to always feel... analytically superior, for lack of a better term. Most people on the middle or far end of the spectrum are forced to accept who they are, but I'd say I'm not too severe a case, so I'm still confused about where I stand and what my potential actually is. "Just accept who you are" sounds like good advice, but I don't know who the heck I am or what I'm capable of being. I just know that feeling like I'm half normal, half alien is a somewhat lonely existence since I feel no one is that combination in the same way I am.

Anyway, I'm in college studying music, and I'd say I have more in common with the teachers than the students. But I can still get by and function, though I'm by myself most of the time.

So are you also stuck in your head most of the time, unable to connect with people, or do you feel like you can connect, but are just scared of rejection? Thanks!

I felt a lot of similarities between how you feel and how I feel. I have always felt out of place, even back in high school when I did have quite a few friends but I was still somehow different and everyone else saw it too. I wasn't as "mainstream" as them. I didn't listen to crappy music, I didn't care what I wore as long as it was cheap and represented the bands I love. I tried to stay low on everyones radar but would every now and then pop and joke that everyone liked or made a statement that people actually got. I over analyze as well. A simple conversation was and still is such a task. When I speak up its usually about something Im passionate about because I wouldn't just dive into some unknown but I usually get way into it while the other people generally lose interest once Im describing how many stairs i had to climb before even getting to the point. When I was in university, I felt a lot more connection to my profs as well and had little to no relationship with anyone from my department. I was a Physics major and still couldn't even fit in with them. I feel like Im always thrown into the "Other" pile where things just don't add up to anything. Now there I go just blabbing along, you're probably half way through this and moved on so hopefully you get this far cuz just out of curiosity what year and what are you taking in music?? What do you play?
 
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gustavofring

Well-known member
I have this too. The constant labeling of everything in your environment, constant streams of thoughts. Things play out in your head that don't even have much existence in reality. It's straining and stressful.

When I feel negative emotions and overthinking coming in, I focus on turning off the thoughts and try to be in the moment. It's helpful to me.

How do we break the habit of excessive thinking? - YouTube

I think if you can focus on the now, and not let thoughts consume you, I think you automatically become more "open" to the world and are better able to connect. Also to people.
 
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028ellie81

Active member
Hi Yeah I sometimes feel like I live in my head. Everything is normal then. I am normal until I am interacting with others and I realise that I am not as confident or have the same level of social skills. I would love to stop my thoughts, I overthink and I overanalyse. Sometimes I feel that if I could escape my thoughts I would have a higher level of social skills. I am interested in personal development and self help and I guess it is a long journey of overcoming negative, self defeating thoughts that keep us isolated from others and exploring the relationships that we want
 
Thanks for your responses, everyone. The Eckhart Tolle video makes a lot of sense. I should watch more of him.

Now there I go just blabbing along, you're probably half way through this and moved on so hopefully you get this far cuz just out of curiosity what year and what are you taking in music?? What do you play?


I'm studying composition. I play some guitar and piano, but I compose classical music on Sibelius, and have done some work with short films.
 

montejocarlo

Well-known member
When I feel negative emotions and overthinking coming in, I focus on turning off the thoughts and try to be in the moment. It's helpful to me.

How do we break the habit of excessive thinking? - YouTube

I think if you can focus on the now, and not let thoughts consume you, I think you automatically become more "open" to the world and are better able to connect. Also to people.

it's a pity many people don't understand the power of "living in the moment." it goes beyond easing the trouble of excessive thinking. it's opening oneself up to the world and it's infinite reality. i'm glad you found that video.
 

cowboyup

Well-known member
More often than not, I get this way as well. I am working on NOT "allowing my thoughts" to control me rather than the other way around as I have been reading more and practicing Eckhart Tolle (thanks for YouTube video, very helpful) Yoga, and basically trying to keep my mind more active on outside activities (not necessarily outdoors, but rather away from me sitting and over-thinking, over analyzing every little thing) .. though I have found that I rather like taking a walk - and I have painting and my book that I work on which is helping ....
Sometimes though, it feels like a bad case of ADHD, huh?
This week, for example, has been difficult to keep my mind in present and not all that self talk going on in my head because my family is on vacation for a week and it's just me, alone with my thoughts ... so this week has been a struggle.

I wish I could offer more sound advice but I have found just to try to keep your attention on one thing at a time - maybe give it a try! :)
 
Eckhart Tolle really helped. I've watched about a dozen other videos of his in the last two days. What he says about turning off your thoughts is so true. But what I don't understand is, is letting go of the self and living in the moment something that happens instantly, when you're ready, or is it something you gradually get better at? Either way, I think I've gotten better at it already.

montejocarlo, what helped you get better at living in the moment?
 
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