ARE YOUR PARENTS THE CAUSE OF YOUR ANXIETY/DEPRESSION?

Mines are, are yours?
List:
#0 When i was 14 i had a bf and my mom found out, I dumped him not because of her but because he wanted sex. At the age of 15, my mom would keep talking sh(it) and i overheard her saying that she hopes i get pregnant. I TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE THAT DAY.
#1 My parents are very ignorant
#2 I can't go out or have fun
#3 We don't have any sort of communication
#4 They keep me lock up in the house
#5 My parents care too much about what people say about us
#6 My parents want me to be perfect little "saints"
#7 I am not allow to date although i have a bf behind their backs
#8 My parents want me to marry someone wealthy or white in color
#9 I don't buy any clothes. I go to school with the same clothes everyday
#10 For vacation we never do anything but stay at home
#11 For my birthday, we don't do anything. No happy birthdays or w.e
#12 My mom's believe everythng her sisters(my aunts) tell her about my sister and i and she blames us without asking.
#13 My mom ignores me and says that she should had never had my sister and i.
#14 My mother has 3 other daughters(who are in their 30s) in another country and sends them all the money, food and clothes they need.
#15 I never get anything from my parents even if i get good grades
#16 I can't even make a joke without my father telling me to shut up
#17 I don't speak to my father at all(he lives in the same house)
#18 My parents care about other people more than they do for my sister and i.
#19 They even want to prohibit who i talk to and everything and they don't like me having friends.
#20 Although i am no close to being obese or anything. I weight 160 and i am 5'6 feet tall. My mom calls me obese and many other things.
#21 My mom has made fun of me and has called me stupid. Her family in the dominican republic basicly abuse her and she only works for them. Anything they ask for they get it without she thinking about it twice. They also get me into trouble and my mom doesn't even ask me, she believes them 100%.

Because of all i wrote, i been depressed since the age of 9. I tried commiting suicide at the age of 15. I am now 16 to be 17 in the summer and i will be heading to college. My mom has called me crazy and said that i need to see psychologist. I am not crazy at all, if anything she's the one thats crazy with her damn ignorance. I am currently depressed and anxious which had let me to urinate all the time when i thought i had a bladder problem. I been checked in different hospital since the age of 9 and my bladder is fine. I hate my parents for the life they have given me and for making me someone i didn't want to be.

Damn. My parents are nowhere near as bad as yours are! But I have started to wonder a lot about things that they neglected. For instance, it occurred to me when I was around 27 that I had no memory of going to a dentist as a kid. Now I'm 31 and I have dentures. Go figure. When I was 16, my Dad left a job and got a $90k severance package. Perfect time to get me a junker, you'd think. But instead, he bought two cars for himself and his girlfriend (who he was only with for less than a year) and a boat. One of those boats big enough you can sleep on it. Ended up selling the boat and the car a couple years later. Then he harped on me about going to college, knowing full well I had no way to get there because both my parents worked and got most of my paycheck, while smoking two cartons a week. Between the two of them, they've gotten re-married so many times that by the end of this year I will have stood in FIVE of their weddings. Way to make me feel like an accident.

yeah im permantly fucked in the head because of them. never knew my father, thot stepfather was my real dad, he left and mom slept around and hid a man in our house from us, he emotionally physically abused and neglected me and brother for nine years, mom divorced agian and is a whore. also both parents alcoholics and never payed attention or loved me. o and all my three siblings are half siblings. tried to kill myself multiple times.

My parents aren't perfect either... a couple of things they did affected my anxiety is a negative way, but I don't necessarily think it's their fault.

Wow, it sounds like you have it tough! Seems like some parents get too caught up in living their lives through their children instead of focusing on what's best for their kids and the family. I honestly don't know how kids function in situations like this, I think you are really brave and strong to have come this far.

depressed i am same age as you and can understand. i wet the bed until i was like 10. its unfair how people can make or destroy our lives but dont dwell on it because u will let them win. if you want to show them then you need to be successful and not let them negatively affect u anymore! research has shown that even fake smiling tells your body to be happy. however you act your body will follow. confronting your fears chemically changes your brain chemistry. tell yourself your happy and you will be its a proven science.

Mmm

I have so much things to say but is just is too much to write in words. Anyways, before living with both of my parents i was very very outgoing. I had a lot of friends, i used to dance and model and then all over sudden i came to the us for the second time and stayed here to live with them. My entire life changed(360). I started gaining weight, didn't go out and became afraid of other people.

Lost_Guy said:

Damn. My parents are nowhere near as bad as yours are! But I have started to wonder a lot about things that they neglected. For instance, it occurred to me when I was around 27 that I had no memory of going to a dentist as a kid. Now I'm 31 and I have dentures. Go figure. When I was 16, my Dad left a job and got a $90k severance package. Perfect time to get me a junker, you'd think. But instead, he bought two cars for himself and his girlfriend (who he was only with for less than a year) and a boat. One of those boats big enough you can sleep on it. Ended up selling the boat and the car a couple years later. Then he harped on me about going to college, knowing full well I had no way to get there because both my parents worked and got most of my paycheck, while smoking two cartons a week. Between the two of them, they've gotten re-married so many times that by the end of this year I will have stood in FIVE of their weddings. Way to make me feel like an accident.

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It sucks i completely understand.
My father has money. He has a lot of money in the bank, but he is very very cheap. I asked for 195 dollars for my senior dues and they yelled at me saying that this is not a bank. I never ask for money because they always have something to say. Now if it was my mom's grandkids in the dominican republic or one of her sister she would send the money in a heart beat. My father i just don't understand him, is like he has mo emotions or whatever. He tells my mom to let us screw our own lives. All my sister and i do is going to school well shes in college and works in a bank, i am a in hs and we go to school and then come back home. Do you think that we are bad kids? I think not. My sister and i are going to rebel soon because either i kill myself or i rebel. I am not even going to the prom because of them and i am dying to go.

Sapphira said:

My parents aren't perfect either... a couple of things they did affected my anxiety is a negative way, but I don't necessarily think it's their fault.

Wow, it sounds like you have it tough! Seems like some parents get too caught up in living their lives through their children instead of focusing on what's best for their kids and the family. I honestly don't know how kids function in situations like this, I think you are really brave and strong to have come this far.

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Thanks although i wish i had a different family. I wish i was more outgoing but because of them i am a layback person. I want to be wild!!!!! being layback is not my type, i just fake it and smile in school so people won't know. People have no idea that i am depressed or anxious. I told someone that i am depressed and they didn't believe me. I guess i am good actress.

People say that you cant blame your upbringing for the way you live or the decisions you make as an adult. That has alot of truth to it, but lets be realistic. If your programmed a certain way from a child, theres no doubt that does, in FACT, have alot to do with what you turn out like and your ability to do whats best for you. So, whilst i could have made some better decisions in my life, particularly when i was older in my teens, it was very hard given my environmet and upbringing.

I had a very hard early childhood, involving alcahole, drugs, and violence on a daily basis. That wasnt something I did to myself, that was an environment my mother made for me, so yes i blame her, why wouldnt I. Then things got better by my early teens, but just as i was getting some stability and things were going good, had lots of friends, we moved away. I didnt deal with it well, got depressed, got heavy into drugs and reclusive, and thats when the anxiety started, had it ever since. Mum did that to me aswell.

Today, 25 years old, i dont really blame anyone i just deal with it and focus on trying the best i can to make positive decisions, but the truth is its my mums fault i have alot of the problems i do. Had a been raised properly, i would be very different, thats a fact.

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I blame my parents because i wasn't like this before i moved with them here in the US. They have me trapped and everything so there is nothing ic an do. I became anxious and depressed thanks to them. You should meet them, they are the biggest hipocrites you will ever meet.

I guess somewhat.

When i look back at family vidoes i always look so shy and alone. I rarely see me laughing and happy like little girls should you know? In one my mum is running to me and laughing and im just standing there.

The big though - and obivously i cant blame my dad for this - he died. I remember after that i started to feel this way - so much worse and its never gone away.

SleepingBeauty said:

im so sorry to hear that about your parents. All of yours. Its horrrible! when I was growing up i lived with my mom and dad. my dad was a mean person...even though he would say otherwise. He would mentally abuse all of us. he was an alcoholic and would drink almost a 12pack every day. maybe even more. and his anger seemed to be the worst at night.
this one time me, my mom, and my brother went to the movies. we asked my dad if he wanted to go but he said he was just gonna go to sleep. so we went without him (which made me really happy). the movie was really really long so were kinda out long. when we got out of the theatre my dad kept calling and calling and calling. he was yelling and really pissed off that he couldnt find the stupid remote. he said we hid it from him. or that one of us stupid kids put it in the wrong spot. he was really drunk of course and he said we better not come home if he doesnt find it! and we were actually really scared to go back home, so we didnt right away. but when we finally did and got in the house he was yelling about not being able to fine it. he was REALLy pissed now. and it only took us 5 minutes to find it! he would yell about stupid shit like that all the time.

one more thing. we went up to the mountains to look at the snow and this time it was me, my mom and dad. my dad of course brought beer with him. drinking the whole time. it was night again and he of course got pissed about something! i have no idea what though. for some reason there was traffic going down the mountain and we had to stop. he was really drunk, got out of the car and left. walked away. my mom (being stupid like she always was) wanted to go find him. and i was terrified he was gonna do something to us. we saw him and he was yelling at my mom from the side of the street. my mom was gonna poll over and get him (when im in the back telling her NO) and he then threw a rock at the car....
then a couple months later he wonders why my mom wants to finally leave his dumb ass.


so even though my mom wasnt really mean or anything, she just put me in harms way all the time because she stayed with my dad for so many years, and i blame her for a lot of things. BUt my dad was the bad one. its his fault i am the way i am. and now i am a really stubborn, anxious, scared, and just really messed up person. cant be around alcohol cause i see it as an evil horrible poison that turns you into a bad person.

and now my dad is dead, my mom got married and life is better. and i have to say that i dont miss my dad one bit. and it pisses me off that my dads side of the family doesnt understand why i hated him and didnt talk to him for so long. they probably thinkim a horrible person for not going to his funeral, but they didnt live with him did they??

gosh this is long, but it felt good letting it out!

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That's terrible!!. My father lives here but we don't talk, is like he is never here. He works since 5am sometimes till 8pm.. i don't really care. I don't have any connection with him or anything. I get anxious around him because to me he is just a stranger. Anyways, sorry to hear that your father is dead and i totally can understand why you would dislike him. My father with other people have this image of being funny and outgoing but in the house he is a complete different person. He is in his room and watches sport and sleeps and w.e. A lot of parents don't understand that the way they treat us can led to a lot of things. Parents need to be able to communicate and talk to kids and give them love, because giving a child food doesn't make you a good parent. My parents think they are the best parents in the world, well i guess not. I got my lip pierced and she called me a criminal and said that i would probably sell or use drugs in the future. WHy would you tell that to your daughter?You see how pathetic they are.

spw said:

I guess somewhat.

When i look back at family vidoes i always look so shy and alone. I rarely see me laughing and happy like little girls should you know? In one my mum is running to me and laughing and im just standing there.

The big though - and obivously i cant blame my dad for this - he died. I remember after that i started to feel this way - so much worse and its never gone away.

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I don't have any videos with my parents. My parents doesn't show me love or affection. I have a hard time expressing my feelings to my bf b.c i find it embarassing.

your story seems to be depressing but if i were in your shoe ill just do what i know is right.Just thank them you were born but with a wrong parents i guess.You seem to be a nice person.Ill pray for you also you should pray to god so that your parents attitude will change devote them to god.Dont worry im a friend you can talk to and count on even if were miles away..

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johnyboy said:

your story seems to be depressing but if i were in your shoe ill just do what i know is right.Just thank them you were born but with a wrong parents i guess.You seem to be a nice person.Ill pray for you also you should pray to god so that your parents attitude will change devote them to god.Dont worry im a friend you can talk to and count on even if were miles away..

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Thanks when i was like 7 and 8 i used to pray to god but i stopped. I don't believe in anything anymore.

I've got a good mom and a not-so-good dad. He was a selfish rage-oholic with very inconsistent changes in mood. My parents divorced when I was 12, and I've had limited contact with him since. I empathize with him because I see a lot of the same tendencies he has in myself now. He's a total control freak (who casts himself as either a victim, aggressor, or "rescuer" to manipulate others), which doesn't really characterize me, but the selfishness and mood swings is something I've struggled with. Anyway, his personality really aggravated my social phobia and made me a bit of an androphobic. I distrust men and authority figures in general, yet, ironically, am always seeking out father figures. Luckily, my mother has been a tremendous support for me: An amazingly selfless and wise person who also suffers from social phobia more severe than my own.

I do blame my parents in the sense that they never let me and my older sister take our own initiative. What i mean by this is for example at a restaurant they ordered our food for us, made phonecalls on behalf of us, and instead of giving us money to go and buy stuff like sweets they'd go and buy them for us. I don't mean to sound ungratefull over this but i wish they would have made us do things for ourselves to teach us to be independent at an earlier age, i mean i didn't walk up to a shop counter to buy something untill i was 17 for Christ's sake! My peers had a different upringing in that they were independent even at an early age, one of my school friends had a bank card at the age of 12.

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recluse said:

I do blame my parents in the sense that they never let me and my older sister take our own initiative. What i mean by this is for example at a restaurant they ordered our food for us, made phonecalls on behalf of us, and instead of giving us money to go and buy stuff like sweets they'd go and buy them for us. I don't mean to sound ungratefull over this but i wish they would have made us do things for ourselves to teach us to be independent at an earlier age, i mean i didn't walk up to a shop counter to buy something untill i was 17 for Christ's sake! My peers had a different upringing in that they were independent even at an early age, one of my school friends had a bank card at the age of 12.

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WOW!!! I hate my parents so much...i dont even want to start telling you everything. I would never never never finish.

Yeah I grew up in a pretty unhealthy envrionment. Alkie dad, physical, mental and emotional abuse. Screaming and smashing things EVERY day. Sleeping with one eye open. They didn't protect me when I was a kid and needed protecting so bad things happened to me..

I won't go into details, but yeah. I lived in constant fear and anxiety always watching over my shoulder. I can NEVER shut that off now even though I live a LONG way away.