ashamed of... nerves? (question for SA peeps)

i got thinking the other day about how strange all of this is for the socially anxious or just generally anxious people like myself: what's there really to be ashamed of?

it almost seems sometimes like there's a weird stigma attached to social anxiety in particular, too. i started realizing how my anxiety kicks in during many different activities involving risks besides just those involving social contact. and for some odd reason, i can admit to just about every other thing in my life that gives me a bad case of the nerves... all except for the goddamn social nerves!

so what's up here? is there really a strange stigma connected to social anxiety or did i just conjure this all up in fear? i can openly discuss how i'm claustrophobic, afraid to fly or too scared even ride on a train due to my anxiety... but i just can't talk openly about social anxiety. what's your opinion?

Ya. I've never thought of that before! I've never been ashamed to tell people I'm too scared to sky dive! Yet, I get apprehensive about telling people I'm shy. I don't think many people really understand shy people. It's almost like they feel like they shouldn't be talking to you. Like because we're shy, we don't want to be talked to. I think there is a certain stigma around shyness. Maybe if it becomes more accepted in society then we'd be alright

Infected_Malignity said:

so what's up here? is there really a strange stigma connected to social anxiety or did i just conjure this all up in fear? i can openly discuss how i'm claustrophobic, afraid to fly or too scared even ride on a train due to my anxiety... but i just can't talk openly about social anxiety. what's your opinion?

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I was wondering the same thing last night! It is weird if you analyze it like that. It's like something you're meant to be ashamed of. I don't understand it either.

Shyness is actaully seen as a beauty in some cultures, afterall would someone prefer a shy person o'r an overly confident and arrogant person.

recluse said:

Shyness is actaully seen as a beauty in some cultures, afterall would someone prefer a shy person o'r an overly confident and arrogant person.

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True! In Eastern cultures it is a highly valued quality. But since most of us live in Western cultures, that really doesn't help us much.

Infected_Malignity said:

so what's up here? is there really a strange stigma connected to social anxiety or did i just conjure this all up in fear? i can openly discuss how i'm claustrophobic, afraid to fly or too scared even ride on a train due to my anxiety... but i just can't talk openly about social anxiety. what's your opinion?

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I've often felt that too. I can say, "I'm socially retarded, or shy," but to actually talk about social anxiety is such a faux-pas. It's weird... maybe it has to do with lonliness. I think lonliness is what people fear most in life and social anxiety connotes lonliness. You can't talk about it because nobody wants to seem lonley... it's something that you should never admit to a group of buddies over beer - it kills the mood in a BIG way. :wink:

I think it has to do with the fact that lonliness and unhappiness come to mind with social anxiety... same with discussing depression.

Shyness is actaully seen as a beauty in some cultures, afterall would someone prefer a shy person o'r an overly confident and arrogant person.


In that case...I'm gorgeous!

Drivemycar said:

Shyness is actaully seen as a beauty in some cultures

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Which cultures are these?