Being asked to help out on a farm...feeling nervous

I have been asked to help on a farm on Sunday, I have been there last year, the farmer is a friend of my dad, and I was nervous before too, I am again too, I can't help it, I always get that feeling I am going to do something wrong, or I am going to do a mistake, or say something stupid.

I am bad at having to talk to people, and the people who will also be coming there are former high school class mates, that makes me a bit more nervous too.

One of them is a two faced person who I was friends with in college, and every time someone does something wrong he compliments them behind their back as "a mong" or stupid, because of the silly things they do that are simple and easy and he did that to me too once before, so I'm afraid that if I do something silly he might start backbiting me to he's mates later.

One more thing I hate, is the conversation that starts with "what you been up to these days?" "do you go out a lot these days"? which sometimes pops up from people who haven't seen me for a long time.. I feel ashamed to tell them I been working at home all year and nothing really important has happened in my life. Make things up?

I know I sound pathetic, but I can't help these feelings, they just creep up on me. I'm afraid that if I say no, I don't want to help, then my dad will be saying that it was an insult that I said no after he has been helping us with things, and he's going to pay me.

I rarely work for people, I work on my own or with my dad, so it's been a year since I have worked with others and ...I just feel anxious thinking about going there.

If they as what you're up to, just tell them you're a very busy person, which is true. Some people don't have the time to go out a lot because of work.

Ok first thing is first;

You are NOT pathetic.

You have reasonable doubts and fears. A lot of us on this site totally understand what you are saying, and many of us - including myself - have experienced the same things.

Does your dad know about how you struggle socially? Have you been officially diagnosed with SA?
Maybe you could talk to your dad and tell him you aren't being rude, but you do have a hard time in social situations. Who knows, he might even be concerned and want to help his child, whom I'm sure he loves.

One thing/trick I've learned about 'those questions'.. 'what have you been up to' etc, is when you are asked this, you feel like the whole world is focused on you, analyzing you and your whole life.
It's good and helpful to have a generalized answer such as, 'oh not much, just working, keeping quiet, staying out of trouble. What about you?'

This immediately takes their focus off of you, and puts it back on to themselves.
People who don't have SA usually like to talk about themselves.

A gathering where the main aim is to do work can be better than a social function.
A work gathering is structured, people have things to attend to.
Pure social gatherings are much tougher for a lot of us to handle as they are generally unstructured.

I realize it can be tough, but try to make the most of the opportunity. Try to see the glass as half full. Earn some cash while you're helping your dads friend.

Regardless, speak to your dad about your problem. At least he will be aware and hopefully a little understanding.
Good luck

Personally I would definitely go because like you say this man has been helpin out your dad and you will get paid. Avoiding the situation will only make you feel bad anyway because of this.

Everyone asks the question what have you been up to or have you got any plans etc, if your expecting it its easier to think of what your going to say beforehand. Just yesterday a cashier asked if I had plans for the coming weekend, I wasn't expecting it but I gave myself a little time to think (which is what I think us sufferers should do more often rather than trying to answer quickly) and I said "ya know I haven't actually made any plans I'm just going to go with the flow" and that was that, I asked what she's doin, "workin" she replied.

The best thing you can try to do is remain focused on your tasks and one thing I have learnt in the past few years is to try give eye contact to people and smile more that way you don't stand out. If you go there thinking positive such as I'm going to get paid, I'm going to make my dad happy and that man happy and yeah I have to work with some people I don't really like but at least after this I won't have to see them again etc. I reckon your day will be fine. I know its always easier said then done but just try and see what happens....

PS. Everyone makes mistakes even that guy who makes fun of people for making mistakes so keep reminding yourself of that ok.

You don't sound pathetic. You sound like me. haha. I'm in a similar situation were I've been at home a lot lately to work on my studies. When I meet relatives and acquaintances they ask me what I've been up to and when I'm going back to my full-time job (which I quit several months ago). In the beginning I felt so ashamed, like you, to say that I've been working at home. But I learned that it's the way you say it that counts. When I feel ashamed saying it, people would pity me and feel my shame. Now when I answer, I try to remember the things that I've done and how happy I am working at home and how productive I've been. I try to infuse this sense of contentment in my answer (I hope you're also content with your situation).

Try not to worry about it too much. When people sense you're worried, they start worrying about you too.

Thanks for your advices, they really helped me feel a lot better, things went better than I thought too! Thanks