Best article for shyness, SP, SA, and self consciousness

chewy

New member
I suppose some shy people may be "self centered", but generally I feel people who postulate this have never experienced the rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness and of course immobilizing fear which overtakes one physically when interacting with others.

I had an english teacher in college who once said the same thing about shyness, but I think there is an actual disorder which has physical symptoms and not just a bunch of pompous people who are "above" everything.

However, if using the self centered thing helps someone psyche themselves into a positive social interaction then more power to them.
 

Doomed2Die

Well-known member
Isnt it a bunch of chemicals in the brain slightly different from a 'normal' brain. Like Chewy said, its way more than being self centered.

In the same vein as 'self somethingness', focusing on helping others i.e selflessness is rather damn effective.
 

phoenix1

Well-known member
I think its misleading to say that shyness or SA is self-centeredness. Self-centered usually means you only care about yourself and no one else. Shyness is not really a choice, like self-centeredness tends to be.
Shyness or SA is being self-centered in the sense that the focus is on yourself. Not in a selfish way though, but in a desperate need to fix oneself.

There certainly is one thing in common with SA or intense shyness, and that is the focus is always on ourselves and how to correct our anxiety. I find it rather silly to say that its self-centered just because both share the same trait of focusing on oneself.
 

Vancouver

Well-known member
Of course shyness and arrogance aren't synonymous. I agree completely. However, I think they're part of the same thought process.

This fucking rocks though. I'm trying it. We're on day 2, so far so good. I realized how much of the shyness can be lifted just by becoming less attached to it. Less absorbed in the habit, I should say.

I know it's not going to work for everybody. In fact, some cases of shyness could happen to be mental imbalances, maybe even dietary. Or to go to the extreme perhaps even brain damage. All I'm saying is: give it a try. I quit analyzing everything and now I just feel balanced out and chill. Less anxious, less afraid. Maybe you can too.
 

phoenix1

Well-known member
Anything to stop the focus on yourself is good. Glad its working out. It's a very very difficult thing to stop that habit long-term though because its not just a habit...its a direct reaction to pain. Ironically this habit is the one and only thing our brains think will help us stop being shy or anxious. No matter how much we try to alter our habits and thoughts directly, after some time, it usually tends to fall back because its an instinctual reaction to pain, unless the focus can be replaced.

I like how it does talk about some techniques that can help change the focus instead of just trying to stop the focus. The trick is to try to find the 'right' things to focus on, so you mind doesnt need to focus the bad way.
 
Top