BREASTS make me anxious.

Zipper

Zipper

Well-known member
I grew up in Africa for 15 years while my parents are missionaries. They are strict Fundamentalist Christians and raised me to be one too. My parents were always squeamish about sex. I was forbidden to date and flirt before marriage. My sex education consisted of being taught that the human body is a shameful vessel that should be veiled from the eyes of others at all times. I was told to treat girls like snakes. :(

This verse has haunted my life ever since the day I first noticed that women were different than men:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:27-30)
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Anyway, I find myself extremely anxious about sexual matters. In particular, I find that I am very nervous around women. Whenever I am with a woman, I am afraid that my eyes will drift to her breasts and she will immediately notice and requite a kind of "divine vengeance" upon me, injuring me and embarrassing me. I fear that the seams of reality shall tear and infinite wrath shall precipitate upon me. So, when I am with women, I am always very self-conscious about where I look, and I forcefully make direct eye contact, fearing that if I relax, I shall take a look, and the feared consequences shall flow. Now, I am 26 and am thinking about seeing a therapist and getting on some medication. I think I have social anxiety disorder. 8O

Naturally, this causes anxiety and avoidance. I would like to get married and have a family, and have intimacy, but I don't know how I'll do this being afflicted as I am with fear and self-consciousness. By this point, I'm afraid I've developed quite a serious breast partialism and an obsession about boobs. I really, really like breasts, and I imagine I could spend all morning playing with a nice pair. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get enough. :cry:

I don't exactly know what I can do to become a normal person again. How do change so that I am no longer crippled and debased, haunted by a fear, stained with a persuasion of relentless cruelty in the ultimate cause of all things? :oops:

How do I move forward? What should I learn? What should I do?
 
Emma

Emma

Well-known member
I don't think you need to worry about being normal, consider the fact that the whole male species seem to be sleazy (sorry) and you don't sound like that.
I think anyone would be worried about hearing that verse, it is sort of creepy......but if it were true the whole world would be in hell rigt now.

As for your obsession, isn't everyone obsessed with something?
 
LA-girl

LA-girl

Well-known member
Zipper said:
I grew up in Africa for 15 years while my parents are missionaries. They are strict Fundamentalist Christians and raised me to be one too. My parents were always squeamish about sex. I was forbidden to date and flirt before marriage. My sex education consisted of being taught that the human body is a shameful vessel that should be veiled from the eyes of others at all times. I was told to treat girls like snakes. :(

This verse has haunted my life ever since the day I first noticed that women were different than men:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:27-30)
Click to expand...
Anyway, I find myself extremely anxious about sexual matters. In particular, I find that I am very nervous around women. Whenever I am with a woman, I am afraid that my eyes will drift to her breasts and she will immediately notice and requite a kind of "divine vengeance" upon me, injuring me and embarrassing me. I fear that the seams of reality shall tear and infinite wrath shall precipitate upon me. So, when I am with women, I am always very self-conscious about where I look, and I forcefully make direct eye contact, fearing that if I relax, I shall take a look, and the feared consequences shall flow. Now, I am 26 and am thinking about seeing a therapist and getting on some medication. I think I have social anxiety disorder. 8O

Naturally, this causes anxiety and avoidance. I would like to get married and have a family, and have intimacy, but I don't know how I'll do this being afflicted as I am with fear and self-consciousness. By this point, I'm afraid I've developed quite a serious breast partialism and an obsession about boobs. I really, really like breasts, and I imagine I could spend all morning playing with a nice pair. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get enough. :cry:

I don't exactly know what I can do to become a normal person again. How do change so that I am no longer crippled and debased, haunted by a fear, stained with a persuasion of relentless cruelty in the ultimate cause of all things? :oops:

How do I move forward? What should I learn? What should I do?
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I just wanted to make a few comments.

First of all, I do not think you should be too worried about women catches you of staring at her chest. The majority of girls now a days seems to become more offended if you deliberately don't. ( I'm not saying you should use every opportunity to stare at her breasts, no, but if you by accident do so I don't think most girls would mind). So I believe the fear of being rejected by a girl in this matter is close to zero.

Second the verse you referred to: "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:27-30)

This means that in the end we are better off by not sinning deliberately as the whole body will be destroyed in the hellfire (As in death) on the day of judgement for those who willfully choose to continue in their sins, while those who choose Jesus and obey him will have new immortal bodies and eternal life.
It is a matter of life or death, not eternal life in Hell.
I don't know if you are saying that this verse is still bugging you to this date (?), but if it is I would advice you to really find out what the Bible says about hell, that it is not a place of neverending misery and torture. This is not an interpretation, but the Bible-truth.
Article: http://www.remnantofgod.org/Hellfire.htm
Video: http://www.amazingfacts.org/resources/video/MPVideo/mp10.asx

If this is not a concern, then just disregard this info!

I was forbidden to date and flirt before marriage.
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Excuse me, but that is the most extreme I have ever heard of. How could you get to know a person if you are not able to date or flirt before marriage? Sex before marriage is another issue, but dating and flirting is NOT A SIN!
 
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