Bully Breaking Family Ties To My Community

Mrshide

New member
A woman in my community is bullying me by pushing all people against my family

:crying: ; Whenever one of my family goes to greet anyone in my community, he/she gives us the cold shoulder. It wasn't always like this; but one by one the people in the community seem to be rejecting us. And I think, it's because of her. I see her whispering to people and then they begin giving our family the cold shoulder. She used her inherited status and connections to warn the newcomers to the community against us.

Now there are very few people left that will deal with us. And the community is of my cultural background, that I cannot leave; and I want my son to grow up in it.

The reasons this woman is angry are many:
  1. I married an American man, and she was not able to.
  2. My child looks American instead of looking like someone from my community.
  3. She claims that my mother gives her dirty looks, but she REALLY does not do this intentionally; our meeting place is not large; the woman cannot let it go.
  4. At one point she posted on a fb forum, as herself and my family did not receive the message about an event being cancelled. We could have been put in danger as the weather was bad and that's why the event was cancelled. I saw her post on another of my family's accounts, whom she was not yet blocking. When I had not received the message and mentioned her name on a post, she became very angry and started calling the moderators of the forum and the heads of the community. My husband tried to make peace by calling up her husband, and explaining that not everyone in the community will receive the posts if they are posted by a person's account, and not by the fb group itself. While our husbands were talking she grabbed the phone and started shouting at my husband, telling him how she knew exactly how to use fb; eventually she got so angry that she hung up. Then her husband called mine back, and threatened him making an unspecific threat.

After this incident, my husband made up a list of prior incidents and presented them to the community, when they had a meeting between our families, which she was not present at. Her husband then screamed and shouted at the meeting; we did not, we agreed before going to the meeting that we would not act like this; The leaders of the community did not wish to see our evidence of prior incidents, citing the nature of how a community such as ours was supposed to behave. Her father threatened to stop investing money in the community in the meeting if people in the community were going to act like this. Even though his daughter was not present. At the end of the meeting both families agreed to just ignore each other.

But she has recently breached the agreement, because, ever since this meeting I've noticed that the number of community members willing to converse with my family is decreasing, and I believe it to be related to her, and it's even extended now to the head of the community, and even the head of the community's leader; both of these people could loose out and be sent back to my country if our community is shutdown (by this woman's father) in the United States.

She regularly sends her children and relatives to check on us at community gatherings, and they report back to her. We even saw her whisper to a relative once when we were at an event and the relative came over and unplugged her cellphone and took it with her; seemingly out of distrust.

Her relatives all have positions of professtional and wealth as do many of the people in our community. I personally am new to this country, and I am badly in need of the connections with in this community to become educated and survive.

I've done my best here to keep all of this anonymous, I do not want to harm my community or its leaders; just want this woman to leave my family alone as was agreed at in the meeting, as I have been holding up my end of the agreement.

Since the other people in the community are immigrants too, despite their success here, they will always be immigrants, and they are quite afraid that something will tarnish their image here in the US.

So I'm not certain what she is telling them in her whispers, it must have something to do with the fear of my husband, the American, turning his community against them (even though he personally, would never do that...I of course, cannot speak for other Americans).

This woman is an immigrant too, but she immigrated at a very young age, and largely grew up in the United States.

Please give me advice on how to deal with this; bearing in mind that it's very difficult to find another community like this in my area, given my culture background.
 
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