Camaraderie through gossip/slander

yesterday somebody started a conversation with me about a mutual friend..She showed me some text messages he had sent her and she was carrying on about how stupid/unintelligent he is..I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but it almost seemed like she wanted me to agree with her and say something along the lines of "yeah he's a complete idiot"..but I honestly try to refrain from saying negative things about someone unless they've personally wronged me in some way...im not saying im a goodie two shoes or anything but I really dont like to get involved in petty gossip and drama...it just seems so typical of people to resort to talking shit about other people when they cant think of anything to say or when they want to establish some sort of camaraderie with someone...I dont have a whole lot of friends but I really don feel the need to talk trash about someone just so someone ELSE will like me.....but it seems like alot of people do this kind of thing and I really just find it to be so petty and typical.....it really bums me out when a conversation drops to that level.

I agree with your ethics, you did the right thing.

I tend to defend the person who's being trashed too. It makes it pretty clear that you dislike it. No one ever rejected me because of this, but I don't think I would care if they did anyway.

Yes, this happens in the office I work in, a culture of toxic gossip, you can be accepted into a clique by critiquing people, it is often political. Another reason to withdraw from people.

FountainandFairfax said:

I agree with your ethics, you did the right thing.

Click to expand...

^ I agree.
I don't believe gaining a friend is worth trashing someone who has not wronged you. :thumbup:

I guess that situation is kinda common in most workplaces. I don't want to justify it in anyway but it seems to be that gossip is a breather for most. Anyway, I could be guilty of that too when I was younger. But now, it seems to me that I am more productive if I don't get into petty conversations while at work. I have a few friends at work and it seems to me that it is way better than having so many.