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Old 03-02-2010
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heyy goldenholds i sent you an email
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Old 03-04-2010
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Anyone else have a story to share 8)
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Old 03-04-2010
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I can tell you that I become even more retarded when I like a girl, but I'm not sure that'll help you much.

Have you tried a less direct method of communicating with this guy, like maybe emails or IM, to get him used to conversation? It seems so tragic if you both like each other. And how sure are you that he knows you like him?
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Old 04-05-2010
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Thanks to all of you!!! Well i am trying to make better progress and i do see more then a glimmer of hope..thank you Lord
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Old 04-05-2010
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Are there mutual friends/colleagues at work that could maybe help the situation? Perhaps he would be open to discuss things with someone who could provide you feedback, or you could have someone he talks to casually, but frequently drop subtle hints in his direction.

If someone is insecure then it's hard for them to believe that anyone can like them, but with enough hints, they might at least start to dream that it could be possible and that can help to increase confidence.
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Old 04-05-2010
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Have you ever straight up asked him if he wanted to do something after work with you? Maybe he just needs you to take that first step. Even if you do something really simple like go to a movie where he wouldn't even have to talk a lot.
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Old 09-01-2013
 

I need help with this, like, immediately. It's getting worse, and because it's only online, with a guy who's so scared of me he won't meet me in person again, I can't do anything in-person, he just ignores me but keeps me in his online world and I know he's interested in me. If I send him messages saying 'it's ok to talk to me', etc., he won't answer but he talks obliquely through other people if that makes sense.
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Old 09-03-2013
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Attraction can be overwelming, so you get nervous and with Social Anxiety it's even worse. That explains it. Keep in mind that It's a normal feeling though, people without SA experience it as well, everybody gets shaky when they're in love. It's actually pretty cute and fun. So try to look it that way. ;3
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Old 09-03-2013
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Oh and one thing, you could be afraid of attractive women (and for some of you might be for attractive men), there's actually an anxiety disorder for that. It doesn't mean you have a total phobia like you can't be around them, but it can get so worse that you feel so uncomfortable that it's overwelming. I used to have that too, with pretty women or men, it's really clumsy and stupid
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Old 09-03-2013
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by TooShyShy View Post
He looks extremely afraid most of the time; gets very uncomfortable & nervous around her....and jumpy, looks scared when she enters a room and he looks like he wants to ''disappear'', he can't smile when they talk to one another, ''prepares'' himself before speaking to her, looks as if HE has tunnel vision, afraid to speak..almost whisper when he talks to her, staaaare A LOT from AFAR mostly!!! The closer she is the more scared he looks!!!!!!

Just can't get it together enough to even hold eye contact for a period of time and have ''normal'' conversation but yet perfectly comfortable with all other women in the room or building???


Where does this come from???
Tha

How can you not want to be with someone you find that desirable?


And does the girl need to become LESS ATTRACTIVE; dress down, no makeup, etc. for him to be able to ''handle'' her on a personal/romantic level?

Also he has days where he seems fine, as if he can ''handle'' being around me and he will hang out more and be around when he can (at work) but then there are days where he looks like he can't handle it..he looks frightened, like he's falling apart (i can almost see his heart beating up in his throat) and needs to keep a ''safe'' distance all day long?


What makes some days easier then others for him wher i am concerned? Do i assume the nervous, jittery days its bcuz he's MORE aware of me and what i am doing--i see him watch me and where i go and what i do somedays--and on the days he's more comfortable and able to be around me (sometimes on purpose) he's not obsessing as much?


If anyone can shed some light on this, it would be greatly appreciated. I know he has female friends, i see him talk to women all the time AND HE IS FINE WITH THEM NEVER HAS A BAD MOMENT OR DAY so where do i go with this? What can i do????



I hope someone can shed light on this...thanks so much!!!!
Actually I am a very healthy patient of such anxiety, he may have some self consciousness either appearance related or in his mind that he relates to being a reason for rejection, also he has some on off floating behavior which reminds me that he may have a personality disorder, being an avid human psychology hobbyist I bet he likes you and best of luck!
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Old 09-03-2013
Odo
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I think it's a pretty common thing for men to be afraid of women... it's probably why misogyny exists. Some guys feel entitled to women because they've bought into that narrative and they get scary or creepy when it doesn't happen... I think that's sort of like being afraid-- maybe more like being confused. I would also imagine it's common for women to be afraid of men, but in a different way. Maybe it's just a fear of rejection... or of being told you're not good enough.

I don't think I'm afraid of women but I am afraid of people who are confident because they tend to be the people who don't understand my anxiety and I always feel like they're going to be more likely to judge me for it.

I hate to admit it but sometimes it makes me want to find something wrong with them so I don't feel so inadequate... I'm conscious of it and I don't enjoy doing it, but it's like an instinct or something.
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Old 09-03-2013
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I feel I should point out that the OP wrote this in 2010 and hasn't logged in since 2011.

So...yeah.
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Old 09-03-2013
 

That's what I thought too. All those guys that didn't like me and insulted me, are they actually attracted to me? But then I wonder, "if that's the case, then why is it that both the guys and girls didn't like me?" The possibility of attraction exists, but doesn't make sense in my case. The guys who harassed me are not even afraid of me; they show 0 signs of fear.
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Old 09-03-2013
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I don't think that this has anything to do with how attracted he is to someone but just with several social issues that person has.
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Old 09-03-2013
 

[QUOTE=Odo;752462]
I am afraid of people who are confident because they tend to be the people who don't understand my anxiety and I always feel like they're going to be more likely to judge me for it. /QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm the same. I know this is off subject from this thread, but I too, tend to feel more anxious and intimidated by people who are more confident than me. Even how most kids my age are, I don't think they'[d be capable of understanding my situation. And worse, when they try and build my self esteem.
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Old 09-03-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NathanielWingatePeaslee View Post
I feel I should point out that the OP wrote this in 2010 and hasn't logged in since 2011.

So...yeah.
There are about 3 threads dating back 4 years. There was another thread started a day or so ago.
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Old 09-03-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwong View Post
There are about 3 threads dating back 4 years. There was another thread started a day or so ago.
Kind of my point. This one was bumped by a girl with similar concerns, who then made her own thread. That one seems to have fallen by the wayside, and people are quoting and responding to the OP of this one.

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Old 09-04-2013
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I think you are afraid of talking to her and your lack of experience in courtship is making you anxious and scared.
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Old 09-04-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NathanielWingatePeaslee View Post
Kind of my point. This one was bumped by a girl with similar concerns, who then made her own thread. That one seems to have fallen by the wayside, and people are quoting and responding to the OP of this one.

I think it is the same girl, talking about the same issue, which has been going on for 4 years I gave my advice in that thread.
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