Cannot Speak
- Thread starter Egmanns
- Start date
JWH
Well-known member
I haven't ever had much of a problem with this besides hating the way my voice sounds on an answering machine, but I'd suggest practice maybe.
The first time I had to contact the uni via phone for something I couldn't do on the internet it was a bit of an anxious time, but once it was done I got more confident. I'm still apprehensive and sometimes make lists to talk on the phone, but besides that I'm over the phone fear.
Other situations which have forced me to get better are the times when I tutor and I have to boot people out of the computer lab. It only took me once and I was over the fear though. Again, I still sound a little funny or soft but it doesn't stop me from saying it. I just may have to say it a few more times than other tutors though, because I don't sound tough enough!
Are there any situations in which you can safely practice your speech? I was always doing speech classes when I was younger... doesn't help that I went and got social phobic though. Not sure if this is of any help, sorry!
The first time I had to contact the uni via phone for something I couldn't do on the internet it was a bit of an anxious time, but once it was done I got more confident. I'm still apprehensive and sometimes make lists to talk on the phone, but besides that I'm over the phone fear.
Other situations which have forced me to get better are the times when I tutor and I have to boot people out of the computer lab. It only took me once and I was over the fear though. Again, I still sound a little funny or soft but it doesn't stop me from saying it. I just may have to say it a few more times than other tutors though, because I don't sound tough enough!
Are there any situations in which you can safely practice your speech? I was always doing speech classes when I was younger... doesn't help that I went and got social phobic though. Not sure if this is of any help, sorry!
MrMr
Active member
Yes there are times when I'm in a pub and the conversation stops,then I start to feel really anxious.I then tend to go really quiet (almost mute like),I can't think on anything to say and then I feel real self concious and people seem to avoid me or look at me in a wierd way (as if to say what the hell is up with him),but I know that rationally they are not acting negatively to me,but to the way I am acting.It is sheer hell,but I'm starting to get a little better at dealing with it,staying relaxed and realising that it takes 2 people to create a silence.
Egmanns, I get that all the time!! Just yesterday, somebody said "hi, how are you" and I couldn't respond! 8O It's like the words get caught up in my chest, or my throat or something; I hate it!! Makes it look like I'm being snotty or rude, or I get that "what the fuck is with her??" look. And if I do speak, it's like my voice is all quiet and quivery, really hate it! :evil:
richkid
Well-known member
I have similar problem it changes from time to time. What i get fustrated at is when i think i've said something but they haven't heard, its usaully because i talk really quietly and unconsuming but i know i have siad something just don't always realise that because i get nervous i talk so quietly and they may not here me properly or at all.
I find it hard to let conversations flow they are usually ok for the first couple of minutes then I dry up and the conversation dries up, i hate sitting with a group of people when that happens its so uncomfortable.
They say you should listen aswell as talk. Sometimes really can't be arsed to listen, and find it so difficult to make someone esle keep talking no matter how much they love talking about themselves.
I'm a daydreamer and shut off and find it hard to switch on i get lost in myself because i find it easier to aviod the situation. Then i have no interest in a conversation and have no way of contributing most of the time. Its not cause i don't have anything to say its more i not there to say it in the first place.......blah blah gone on abit balhbhalahb
I find it hard to let conversations flow they are usually ok for the first couple of minutes then I dry up and the conversation dries up, i hate sitting with a group of people when that happens its so uncomfortable.
They say you should listen aswell as talk. Sometimes really can't be arsed to listen, and find it so difficult to make someone esle keep talking no matter how much they love talking about themselves.
I'm a daydreamer and shut off and find it hard to switch on i get lost in myself because i find it easier to aviod the situation. Then i have no interest in a conversation and have no way of contributing most of the time. Its not cause i don't have anything to say its more i not there to say it in the first place.......blah blah gone on abit balhbhalahb
D
deleteduser
Guest
o my god!
egmanns i get that every time i have to read out aloud in class or do drama!
it is pure and utter torture!
i go to any lengths to avoid doing drama or whatever (i once bunked off school in the pouring rain just to avoid doing drama!)
noone seems to understand me and i just dont know what to do!
i just want to crawl up and disappear.
egmanns i get that every time i have to read out aloud in class or do drama!
it is pure and utter torture!
i go to any lengths to avoid doing drama or whatever (i once bunked off school in the pouring rain just to avoid doing drama!)
noone seems to understand me and i just dont know what to do!
i just want to crawl up and disappear.
idontknow.
Member
yea sometimes, when you're anxious your mind is a total blank. than you feel like a ****ing idiot.... but you don't even know what you wanted to talk about, or why you are even there. then you just stand there while they look at you and you look up and it looks like they think you're an idiot and then you feel worse and sweat more and your heart feels like it's going to falter at any moment
and then you force something out and it sounds completely stupid, and does not at all match the tone of voice in your head and people ask you what the heck you're saying, and the facial expression they make while making this request makes you feel like a complete ****ing retard and you think they hate you or something
and then you force something out and it sounds completely stupid, and does not at all match the tone of voice in your head and people ask you what the heck you're saying, and the facial expression they make while making this request makes you feel like a complete ****ing retard and you think they hate you or something
Chopped Gupta
Member
This holds me back so much! I'd probably speak much more if I could just get the damn words out! It's even better when it happens mid sentence so there's these awkward pauses for everyone to enjoy. fml
Yeah I definitely have a problem speaking. This wasn't always the case, but with years of isolation and barely speaking to anyone (family even).. it's gotten pretty bad. Nowadays I find it exceptionally hard to express myself since I feel most of my vocabulary has vanished. I guess if you don't use it, you loose it. I'm horrible at small talk, can never start a conversation myself and only respond with short answers when spoken to. I'm sure people find this strange or rude even.
Didn't think it was possible to forget how to communicate/socialize with people, but I guess avoiding it for too long does it.
English is my second language as well, so when I feel like I'm not pronouncing something right, I correct myself, which brings more attention to my mistake.. and then I just feel worse.
Didn't think it was possible to forget how to communicate/socialize with people, but I guess avoiding it for too long does it.
English is my second language as well, so when I feel like I'm not pronouncing something right, I correct myself, which brings more attention to my mistake.. and then I just feel worse.
StandingJelly
Well-known member
Thats me as well. You're not alone. I think people think I'm arrogant or something, I say "Hi" at most, but unless I ask questions that I need help on, I couldn't approach anyone for the purpose of making friends. I come up with very brief answers, I reckon it might be the social situation we are put in that makes us nervous and taking too much processes.
Looking_in105
Well-known member
I've totally been having this problem recently with my SP! and it sucks! i never used to have this problem but I had other SP related problems like nausea. It's ruining me It sounds like im crying or outta breath..i hate this
It sounds like im crying or outta breath..i hate this
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conscious_mindz
Well-known member
I dont get it where i cannot speak.. but what i do get is when im speaking, mid conversation im just talking normal & maintaining conversation.. then the thought will suddenly pop into my head about the sound of my voice & i become awfully aware of how im sounding as im speaking, then ill notice the person im talking to theyre facial expressions will change like what the hell... his voice has gone weird! its just CRUEL this S.A & all of the things we deal with that others find soo easy
Snowdrop
Well-known member
I get this. Today I was trying to tell my teacher something so simple but I just kept stuttering and not getting to the point. It was like I couldn't get what I wanted to say out, and I end up sounding incoherent. It happens a lot... :S sorry for posting a really unhelpful post but you are definitely not alone in this.
da_illest101
Well-known member
all the time, I keep screaming in my head SAY SOMETHING but nope nothing comes out.
xLindziex
Well-known member
Same here, I stutter a ridiculous amount without ever getting out what I actually want to say. Usually there's a lot of "umm..."'s and "well...."'s and "like..."'s. It gets quite annoying because it's like you're just sitting/standing there trying to say something and then eventually the point you wanted to make becomes moot.
JohnnyJohnW
Member
Practice with a mirror, or record yourself with a camera. Or imagine that the person who you're speaking with is not there... well, that worked for me.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
I feel like I can't speak quite often when I'm expected to "hang out" with people, like have small talk and all that normal friendly stuff. I feel like I don't have anything to say and I also don't want to say anything. I'm at my worst when in groups that are hanging out.