can't be around women..

no1

no1

Banned
my sexual urge is too strong.

I know that might seem wrong but it's true.

If I see a girl I am attracted to , chances are (almost always it seems) I will be very nervous around her, and she will notice. And also look at me with a sort of distaste for me. I've never had an appropriate sexual outlet it's always been dysfunctional. It destroys any and all interaction I can have with women and yes even men, but not in the sexual way just that, I feel like I have no place in society as the lonely person that I am. Once lonely, always lonely usually but it's mostly because of others not being able to look at you differently.
 
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Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
I can relate no1,im pretty bad with anxiety around anyone,male or female.But really bad around girls of any age,if there attractive or not.I blush just speaking to them and i cant form a proper sentance sometimes i feel like a kid!

People say its a case of just forcing yourself into situations but its so easier said than done.I did that in c.b.t,and more often than not it would go just as bad as i thought it would,and it would just knock my confidence down even more to the point i gave up.

But i think you have to look at the big picture sometimes,before you will feel comfy with girls,you need to feel comfy with yourself,confident even.Try and improve you self image in your own eyes,maybe do some exercise so you feel better about your body.Update your wardrobe and get a hair cut.Girls notice things like that.

Try and take up a few hobbies which bring you into contact with people,somthing you really enjoy so it takes your mind off being nervous and hopefully gives you the chance to speak to people.There is no easy answer but there are things you can do if you put the effort in.

And try and not focus on needing to be with a girl all the time,it might make you come across as desperate.
 
no1

no1

Banned
Danfalc said:
I can relate no1,im pretty bad with anxiety around anyone,male or female.But really bad around girls of any age,if there attractive or not.I blush just speaking to them and i cant form a proper sentance sometimes i feel like a kid!

People say its a case of just forcing yourself into situations but its so easier said than done.I did that in c.b.t,and more often than not it would go just as bad as i thought it would,and it would just knock my confidence down even more to the point i gave up.

But i think you have to look at the big picture sometimes,before you will feel comfy with girls,you need to feel comfy with yourself,confident even.Try and improve you self image in your own eyes,maybe do some exercise so you feel better about your body.Update your wardrobe and get a hair cut.Girls notice things like that.

Try and take up a few hobbies which bring you into contact with people,somthing you really enjoy so it takes your mind off being nervous and hopefully gives you the chance to speak to people.There is no easy answer but there are things you can do if you put the effort in.

And try and not focus on needing to be with a girl all the time,it might make you come across as desperate.
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Well uh.. yea it does make me feel desperate. but I can't really just "not" focus on that. In my mind it's really black and white. if I stop focusing on it it really means to also avoid it, not just 'not focus on it'. So I close myself off instead of just "not thinking about it". For me there is no "not thinking about it". Either I have to become gay or something. To stop focusing on it also means to deny my biology or something... and that makes me.. unbearable.
 
no1

no1

Banned
some men, so they dont feel desperate around women, lose their virginity to whores because courting for them becomes impossible because of their lacking of experience and their feelings of desperation and inadequacy in the woman's eyes, being inexperienced.

I'm not a virgin but I am inexperienced. I don't think I need a whore, tho it may help if I am in need of experience. I think a female friend can help me. or a kind of platonic relationship. Just to learn how to interact with a female and develop social skills with women, and so I won't feel so hopeless and actually feel a purpose to survive and live.
 
Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
no1 said:
I'm not a virgin but I am inexperienced. I don't think I need a whore, tho it may help if I am in need of experience. I think a female friend can help me. or a kind of platonic relationship. Just to learn how to interact with a female and develop social skills with women, and so I won't feel so hopeless and actually feel a purpose to survive and live.
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I think thats a really good idea,and i know you feel its impossible not to feel/act desperate.I know how you feel i used to feel so desperate and lonley,but at the same time i didnt think i deserved a nice gf.But yeah im not saying just block it out.. im saying find some way to deal with it.You can keep coming up with excuses and stuff and i dont mean that in a harsh way so please dont take offence we all do it when it comes to our anxiety and comfort zones.

But sometimes we need to try and work on stuff instead of saying i cant because thats just how i am or i cant because of this or that ect.Try therapy,try medication...there is all sorts of stuff you can try and you dont know if it will help untill you do put effort into it.
 
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