Can't deal with being deformed.

Basically I am deformed. It kills me everyday I look in the mirror everyday trying to overcome it and can't. I don't think many people are as ugly as me. I can't even describe the kind of effect my face has to it.

this is the only guy I can find that has a similar kind of distortion effect to his face. (not me in the video)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aojxjATRW94


I have the same kind of weird look to my face. I don't have his masculine look though.

People stare at me and gossip behind my back. I hate having to get all the weird looks whenever I go outside. Whats worse is I'm pretty much social detached and uninterested in dealing with people and when I go outside it's reinforced by poor treatment.

I just started a new job and that's what brought my bad feelings about it back. People around the new work place ether stare at me or ignore me. I don't want to be attractive I just wish I could blend in and be a social ghost rather than a target.

Hate my life :sad:

People call me ugly a lot and I get stared at even in the random situations when I should have been a random person.

Even people who are suppose to be on my side remark to me things that imply I'm profoundly ugly.

I'm not seeing any deformity to the guy on the video's face. I don't get it.

I finally found a way to upload a pic online.


this is me





I promise you the photo doesn't do my problems justice I look much worse in person.

Deleted - I can't believe I'm trying to give advice about that matter when I'm the first one to hide to not afflict people with my ugly self.

I'll just leave these 2 sentences because they help me so I might as well share it:

I think people react more strongly to negative vibes and odd body language than pure physical ugliness, so maybe your issue is more about body language and strange facial expression - but it doesn't show in any way in your picture

Deformed or not, being ugly, awkward, looking weird and having weird facial expression and body language doesn't make you less worthy of being here and living your life the way you want, and you should really repeat yourself that.

I like your beard. There's nothing wrong with the way you look!

... though it probably doesn't matter who says nice things to you since You think there is something wrong with how you look. It's our own personal negative self talk that can be the most harmful to our self esteem.

I am speaking from my own struggles so I get this.

Coupled with social anxiety this can be such a curse of a combo.

My camera does a good job of obscuring my appearance. I have to believe that something is wrong because to many people react with outright horror at me. I had somebody call me a "freakshow" at my current job and a man in a convenient store told the store clerk that I should put a gun to my head.


I swear that I have the most two faced face on earth when I look at old pictures of myself I look like a different person one picture to another. It's the same with mirrors.

Have you read about BDD?

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA

Outside of that issue it sounds like you live in a very cruel environment with people who are horrible to one another openly.

Maybe reflect too on what Pacific Loner mentioned with your body language potentially causing people to notice you.

Also try to remember-No one is ever happy with the way they look. We all have to battle something with our physical appearance, so know you are not alone.

Even the most obviously attractive people can hate their looks.

Pacific_Loner said:

I think people react more strongly to negative vibes and odd body language than pure physical ugliness, so maybe your issue is more about body language and strange facial expression - but it doesn't show in any way in your picture

.

Click to expand...

This is definitely right. You can't believe how many times I saw evidence to it.

You probably have BDD. I didn't see your photo, but the guy in the video looks perfectly normal.

I haven't seen your photo, but the one at the top of the page is not one of an ugly person. Wish I could grow a decent beard.

theoutsider said:

I'm not seeing any deformity to the guy on the video's face. I don't get it.

Click to expand...

Same here. All I see is possibly a slightly more feminine, less pronounced jawline than might be expected. I only have the use of one eye, I keep the bad eye closed but if you saw it, it would look odd cause it looks inward toward the nose. Its very similar to a lazy eye but its un-treatable, I always feel like it's the first thing people notice and all they focus on when they talk to me (but it's more noticeable with kids).

I just followed the link for BDD, I sometimes think I have hypochondria (thinking I have diseases I do not), but I may have this to some extent. I see myself as fat, hideously ugly etc... I am big (205 lbs or so) but I still see myself as the 310+ lb guy I used to be. I dont, and wont attempt any type of eating disorder like bulimia, but I feel like I understand the thought process to some degree.

I feel the same way, and I always have. But like Pacific Loner said, even if you were Eric Stoltz in MASK hideous, not many people are going to gawk at you.

It's far more likely that you're at least average in the looks department, and people are reacting to your nervous body language.

I knew it. Today at work I overheard a chubby talking with a guy who trained with me on my first day. I walked in front of him my mistake and the guy said "oh and this guy" and she said "I know look at his face". What makes it worse was she was being all fake nice to me for several days helping me figure stuff out when she thinks so poorly of me. On top of that almost every single girl there looks away from me when I walk by and I'm not trying to look at them. Everybody talks to everybody but me, and when they do it's just to point out that I did something wrong.


It's made me come to a decision. I'm not going to leave my house anymore save for the essentials. The stares and abuse is just to much for me. Other people have trouble getting dates or attracting interest with there looks. I can't even walk down the street and it's very difficult to realize that I am a grotesque not a normal person. I have a feeling that I am the ugliest person in a 200 mile radius maybe in the top 10 ugliest people in the world.

I feel the same way :sad:
I dont think I'm hideous ... but other people seem to think I am.
I tried just fixing my body language and being friendly, but that doesn't seem to be enough for anyone.

No one is ugly. Please quit that thinking. It's your body language, most likely.

That guy doesn't look deformed at all, he looks like a perfectly average guy. If you look like him you have nothing to worry about when it comes to physical appearance.

My ears stick out - like, in an extreme way. Or well maybe in my head it's extreme, but they do, it's obvious, I was severely bullied for them growing up. I had mild BDD before, sometimes may return. I can relate if called names, or treated as a zoo animal.

However - regardless if physical features "stand out" or look "odd" it's 100% worse in your head thus the BDD. Esp how you interpret people's reactions. You filter everything under a lens of negative self-image, you start seeing conspiracies so to speak everywhere. So if a look is positive you will NEVER see it that way.

When I get down I can let my ears get to me when I'm out - I see what is there and also what's not. IF something does STAND OUT physically - and ppl notice that first - okay! My ears - it's a fact ppl will probably notice that initially BUT - if they can't get passed that? If they revert to names, laughs, stares, etc. - it's all they notice - then screw 'em. I don't needa waste my time with them. Easier said than done but - body language/etc. factors in way more imo.

And you cant fake it, only so far will smiling and not meaning it and faux positive body language work when inside you think/feel opposite whole time well that will then show.

I just say I relate to a point and can still struggle with it but experience also shows BDD/in head/body language as everyone's said, you have to start by acknowledging that possibility.

Maybe I could send you a photo of myself and you would feel better about yourself. Certainly if I were to look like this fellow I would be considered normal. So you should count your blessings!