Can't deal with being deformed.

D

dxp

Member
Are you talking about me in the photo or the man in the video.


My photo if you can't see it.

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/x...owyUhcNTx17egQlR_9DCSsXvUwSVQ1IQ=w868-h651-no


I look much worse in person there are awkward slants and slopes to my face that you can' tell in the photo. My eyes look more ghoulish in person too, like Micheal Jackson's.

I've never been on a date, or kissed a girl. Almost every girl I encounter gives me a shocked look, like I'm the ugliest thing in town.
 
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jayfan

jayfan

Well-known member
you look normal to me. i think its that you think negative about yourself so thats how you come off. people see what they want to see. i struggle with that to. you can post a picture of yourself. thats pretty good. i couldnt do that.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Hmm that guy looks pretty normal. You may have just attracted bullies. This was at work right? I can be a bully magnet and Ive learned that sometimes people will ban together to pick on someone they see as an easy target. Just being mean, not stating objective facts.
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Yeah the photo's not working anymore, but what I can say is that the guy has a symmetrical face and is better looking than the guy in the video he posted. There's absolutely nothing wrong with his face, and hopefully he'll be able to see that soon and not let BDD get the best of him.
 
Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
I guess this isn't exactly on-topic, but have some of you noticed when you're walking past the same women (but non-acquaintances) many times.. for example, seeing the same women at the park you exercise in.. and at a certain point they always just avert their eyes, turn their head or look down.. could that be implied they find something unpleasant or creepy about you?

I glance at most people I go past--most people do this too, where I live--but that's as far as I go, I don't stare. These same women I'm talking about, though, were never friendly and have always come across as "aloof" but it seems like their behavior has become more avoidant than usual when I walk past.

Are these women just shy or are they trying to imply that I'm "creepy"? Or perhaps I'm just paranoid.

It's starting to bother me, now..
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
I really hate the term symmetrical. If everyone luterally had symmetry they would look inhuman. I know it seems petty, but it's when people start start striving for things founded on errancy that things go array. But I have no trouble in believing that he has balanced features, something I lack, something compounded by my deviated septum that I have no means to correct.
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
Bronson99 said:
I guess this isn't exactly on-topic, but have some of you noticed when you're walking past the same women (but non-acquaintances) many times.. for example, seeing the same women at the park you exercise in.. and at a certain point they always just avert their eyes, turn their head or look down.. could that be implied they find something unpleasant or creepy about you?

I glance at most people I go past--most people do this too, where I live--but that's as far as I go, I don't stare. These same women I'm talking about, though, were never friendly and have always come across as "aloof" but it seems like their behavior has become more avoidant than usual when I walk past.

Are these women just shy or are they trying to imply that I'm "creepy"? Or perhaps I'm just paranoid.

It's starting to bother me, now..
Click to expand...

I think most people feel uncomfortable having strangers looking at them, and from observations I would say women are greatly more sensitive to being looked at... especially by men. A further observation is that those who want to be looked at by everyone is usually of questionnable character. This can be confirmed by their eyes, always gives everything away. So I would conclude by saying that they most likely don't feel comfortable engaging strange men
Breaking eye contact is breaking social contact, and perfectly understandable given that most people have other things to do and just want to get on with it.
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Bronson99 said:
I guess this isn't exactly on-topic, but have some of you noticed when you're walking past the same women (but non-acquaintances) many times.. for example, seeing the same women at the park you exercise in.. and at a certain point they always just avert their eyes, turn their head or look down.. could that be implied they find something unpleasant or creepy about you?

I glance at most people I go past--most people do this too, where I live--but that's as far as I go, I don't stare. These same women I'm talking about, though, were never friendly and have always come across as "aloof" but it seems like their behavior has become more avoidant than usual when I walk past.

Are these women just shy or are they trying to imply that I'm "creepy"? Or perhaps I'm just paranoid.

It's starting to bother me, now..
Click to expand...

It's one of those situations where you can choose the most productive way of interpreting the situation. Yes, you can assume you're creepy and they want nothing to do with you (including looking), or you can simply think 'huh, maybe they're shy or feel uncomfortable making eye contact' and keep on walking without giving it a second thought.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Yeah at Bronson99 it just means they dont want to talk is all. A lot of men will take something as small as eye contact as a green light to start speaking to them. Its not something us guys experience often so theres a bit of confusion there.
 
Luka

Luka

Well-known member
You sound like have Body Dysmorphia. I'm pretty sure I do too, or I'm just really ugly.
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
There is such a thing as ugly and you all know it. i find it disingenuous when people who live or are able to live a relatively normal and stable life tell me that everyone is beautiful, that if we all looked the same the world would be boring, or that real beauty is found within. The same foolosophy spouted by those who would be very quick to make the distinction between grotesque and divine. If one wants credibility then one would be well advised to cut the proverbial and say it how it is. You owe us ugly people at least that much, rather than spouting the same foolosophy repeatedly in an attempt to make yourselves feel good about quoting some life lesson as if it makes you a better person whilst simultaneously super-imposing good qualities on pretty faces where non exists. Just some perspective. Don't believe me then read any magazine, watch tv, look online. The truth is out there.
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I'm not sure if that's in response to my post, but in case it is, i shall ellaborate on it a little.

Having had BDD/SA/SP/etc for most of my life, i would probably have similar experiences & insights as you have, but i still can't say with assurance exactly "how it is", neither does Bronson99 ("...most likely"). In my post I said "...not so much the body", by which i imply that i believe also that ugliness is more due to body language than looks/body - by how much i cannot say (but pushed for a rough average percentage i would say something around 75% body language & 25% looks/body).

The :thumbup: was kinda "dark" sarcasm about that if the ugliness isn't really physical but is only mental, then all our problems are solved ... but also acknowledging to myself that i did a good, simple, summarizing post (like 'yep, problem solved, great!'), but again in the mainly sarcastic sense.

Edit: I can see how my post could have come accross as common/disingenuous/etc .. i guess sometimes the lines are so close together that there doesnt seem to be anything between them to read...
Fact is, the "world" is very shallow & judgemental & polarising & ..... (etc etc etc). That's a big reason why people who are different in any way, get a "rough deal" in the real world (& also i think why there's so many "sheeple" nowadays)
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Having social anxiety/agoraphobia/depression/etc doesn't make you ugly. Not living life to the fullest is what's ugly.
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
Sacrament said:
The way you're speaking is making you appear ugly, Requiescat.
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What's ugly is telling a person something that you yourself do not believe. It's insulting and degrading in the extreme. What I am saying is the truth, nothing more, nothing less. Every word of it. If you find truth ugly then so be it. But what you prescribe is idealism, not a good foundation for life in the real world.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Requiescat said:
There is such a thing as ugly and you all know it. i find it disingenuous when people who live or are able to live a relatively normal and stable life tell me that everyone is beautiful, that if we all looked the same the world would be boring, or that real beauty is found within. The same foolosophy spouted by those who would be very quick to make the distinction between grotesque and divine. If one wants credibility then one would be well advised to cut the proverbial and say it how it is. You owe us ugly people at least that much, rather than spouting the same foolosophy repeatedly in an attempt to make yourselves feel good about quoting some life lesson as if it makes you a better person whilst simultaneously super-imposing good qualities on pretty faces where non exists. Just some perspective. Don't believe me then read any magazine, watch tv, look online. The truth is out there.
Click to expand...

There IS a widely accepted standard when it comes to physical beauty. But when it comes to the individual person, they might find certain qualities attractive that others dont. I think snails are cute with their little googly eyes, but my family members will kill them on the spot. Its a tricky subject to try and nail down.
 
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