Can't Look people in the eyes - Page 8

Island_chic · 06-10-2009, 09:34 PM

I used to be too shy to look another person in the face for many years. But now I can stare people down. Mostly it has gone away for me.

whos_that_girl · 06-11-2009, 12:54 AM

I'm getting to be this way badly and I can't stand it because I feel so weird when I can't look at people at all, not just in their eyes! This is because I basically have avoided 98% of all social contacts for almost 7 years now, it's been bad and getting worse.

Redzer · 06-27-2009, 12:16 AM

a good trick i find is to look at person eyebrows it looks as if yer meeting there gaze but yer not really and if they wear glasses then look at the top at the rim, handly little trick i used to use, but now i want to be seen as a person who commands respect so straighten up and meet there eyes, **** why should i lower my self worth because some one looks at me.

mogs · 07-02-2009, 01:44 AM

Hi, have you guys ever tried looking into a mirror to see how your eye contact looks and practice making eye contact.

Also, when you watch the newsreaders and people on TV, the eye contact you give the newsreader is natural eye contact. Maybe use this for practice?

dtrotter · 07-02-2009, 07:43 AM

looking into one's eye = confident and trust

Oh well, try looking at their nose instead of the eye for a start. It takes some practice, after a while, you will get used to it

ariesgal · 08-20-2009, 03:35 PM

When I found this thread I wanted to cry :(
I could not believe that one person, let alone many, have experienced the same thing I am experiencing.

I can really identify with people who described it as a 'personal hell'.

I'm 23 I was blissfully free from this problem until 2 years ago when I started being in a relationship with this guy who ended up making me paranoid about the way I look people in the eye. He said I didn't look at people properly and I ended up feeling uncomfortable and not being able to hold eye contact with anyone, even my family!

It feels like all the things I wanted to do with my life I can't do anymore - I'm worried about making friends, joining clubs, going for job interviews, I can't even relax with my family and close friends anymore because I am paranoid that I look wierd to them or will come across as shy and insecure.

I hate my ex so much for doing this to me. Before I met him I was a relaxed, happy girl with lots of friends. Now I still have friends but I don't feel comfortable around them anymore. It is the most awful feeling in the world :(

People I've tried to explain it to don't understand why I have this problem because I am an attractive girl and therefore just expect me to be confident.

Anyway, just felt like sharing my experience with you guys. Sorry it is so long, I've just had no one to share it with for so long.

If anyone going through a similar situation would like to have a chat about it with me you can add me on msn - my address is sazzgurll @ hotmail . com

mads · 08-20-2009, 03:46 PM

I am really sorry to hear that a person you loved did and say such awful things.

One of my sister´s old boyfriends did the same to her, like criticizing every thing she did, way she looked, just everything. I myself really cant see, how you can treat one you love that way.

Was your boyfriend one of those types, who looks like they can control everything, but really they dont have a clue on their life?

Maybe you should try some counseling, for many it really helps.

Lorraine Manca · 08-20-2009, 09:15 PM

when i try to keep eye contact, i have a hard time focusing on both eyes at the same time. my focus switch's between the person's left eye or the right eye. it makes me want to hurl. i think there must be something wrong in my brain that is more physical than emotional. im sorry to hear some people learn it from bad experiences.

TimArends · 08-21-2009, 08:19 PM

Poor eye contact is the most common problem of shyness. However, it sounds like what you are describing is more than just shyness. I have not read the whole thread but I believe there is a name for this condition -- the inability to look anyone in the eye. I, like most shy people or formerly shy people, have had the problem of feeling that I'm not looking people in the eyes enough.

Not just a little eye contact, but I would say 90% I contact is what is expected. Not all the time of course. If you're working or driving, you can't make 90% eye contact, but I mean when you're standing or sitting across from somebody.

MotherWolff · 08-23-2009, 07:32 PM

Wow this topic is still going? And no one has come up with a solution, yet? Or have they?

Motherwolff can sometimes look people in the eyes nowadays. But Motherwolff does not feel comfortable doing it at all. I must force myself to do it. Its like raping my own eyes with "eye contact". I can only look my close family members in the eyes without any form of anxiety.

Ugh...Motherwolff will never understand why humans MUST make eye contact with one another.