can't stand up for myself at all!

Whats up guys/girls?

I hate my life. I can't stand up to people whatsoever. The only people I yell back at are my parents and occasionally my brothers (but they usually win because they're older and they think they should). There's this girl in my class who's a Sophomore and I'm a Senior and she thinks she can yell at me and tell me what's right (how sad is that). She makes me so mad, and her voice is too loud I want to tell her to shut up. I'm not mean for no reason, she's been a prick to me on several occasions.

So should I stand up for myself or just deal with it? this is not the only time it's happened. Because I'm too nice people think they can say mean things to me and tell me what's right like I won't care. It's like I'm a robot with no feelings and just programmed to listen to everyone.

If I don't care about making new friends, why do I care what these jerks think?

I can totally related to your situation, I'm really nice to people but a lot of people just say nasty things back. I don't like being nasty to people, it's just not my nature to be nasty. I say you just get on with it, don't sink down to their level. You're a better person than they are.

I can relate to this too and I agree with AgentR don't sink down to their level. You're a better person than they are.

You can still stick up for yourself and be nice there is a difference between being mean and being assertive and asking people to respect your feelings and all that jazz…Where you are, are there any courses on assertiveness and or self esteem?...

Well anywho good luck

hopeless_dreams said:

Whats up guys/girls?

I hate my life. I can't stand up to people whatsoever. The only people I yell back at are my parents and occasionally my brothers (but they usually win because they're older and they think they should). There's this girl in my class who's a Sophomore and I'm a Senior and she thinks she can yell at me and tell me what's right (how sad is that). She makes me so mad, and her voice is too loud I want to tell her to shut up. I'm not mean for no reason, she's been a prick to me on several occasions.

So should I stand up for myself or just deal with it? this is not the only time it's happened. Because I'm too nice people think they can say mean things to me and tell me what's right like I won't care. It's like I'm a robot with no feelings and just programmed to listen to everyone.

If I don't care about making new friends, why do I care what these jerks think?

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Man i am the same way...i know exactly how you feel. I can only yell at my parents at home but then in school i am different i just cant stand up for myself. A voice in my head tells me do it but i just can't!!

I think.. That you should tell her, politely, that you don't appreciate the way she is talking to you, and that just because she believes she's right, doesn't mean she is. If she is right, then just affirm her, calmly. She might stop yelling if you agree (when she is actually right), and say it calmly. If not, tell her not to yell at you.

She's not your friend, so who cares if she freaks out. You have the choice to walk away from her. If she wants you to stick around, tell her you're not going to if she's going to give you attitude all the time.

And I knoooow it's hard to stand up and do it. lol I've gotten to the point where I was so frustrated in a situation, I just let it out. I felt a rush over my whole body, I felt weak in my legs, twitches in my eyes, and I got flushed.. But in all of that what I was feeling came out clear, and it felt good after. Like an adrenaline rush. ^^

I really think you should stand up to her. If you want her to stop being such a meanie. You can do it nicely.

Good luck, tell us how it goes!

P.s. ASSERTING yourself doesn't mean you have to yell.

Just a suggestion:
It's pretty easy to stand up for yourself while using sarcasm. Well, I find that it's way easier to use sarcasm than to become all vulnerable stating your hurt feelings to somebody who is purposely trying to cut ya deep anyway. If I was in your situation and this chick was always telling me that I'm wrong, I would say something along the lines of "Oh that's right, I forgot ~ cuz you're right four quarters of the time, huh Queenie?" then laugh at her and roll your eyes. Who cares if she thinks you're bein a dick cuz she's being a total bitch! At least she'll know that she's not gonna make ya feel like shit about yourself. Nobody has that right!! I guess it just depends on how freaked out you'd be to say something like that to her. I know it's hard but I can't stand when someone tries to put someone else down!!!

It frustrates me so much how all I am is nice to people at my school but they still give me shit for it and take advantage of me for being such a push-over. And if I do stand up for myself, which isn't very often I'll get thrown comments like 'ohh she's gone mean..!'

I can stand up for myself.

At least I would if I wasn't beaten to it every time by yet more people, nice or not, who can still find it in them to look down on me. As if my problem is simply the inability to speak , and not what it really is.


Vicious cycle

You're definitely not alone. From personal experience, it's the fear of confrontation which keeps me from standing up for myself and allowing nasty comments to go unchecked.

i could never..and still can't..stand up for myself, in school, at work..at home..i've swallowed a lot of frustration and anger :evil: But, strangely, if it comes to somebody else i care about getting shit on, or treated badly, look out :twisted:

maggie said:

i could never..and still can't..stand up for myself, in school, at work..at home..i've swallowed a lot of frustration and anger :evil: But, strangely, if it comes to somebody else i care about getting shit on, or treated badly, look out :twisted:

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Ditto that...strange isn't it.
I can stick up for other people, but not for me :roll:

I can relate. I have very poor assertive skills because people intimidate me so much, because of this i tend to be submissive. I'm afraid of getting on the wrong side of people but i know that to get peoples respect i have to show them that i can be assertive, but i just can't!