Change your Appearance, Change SA

stevelee24

stevelee24

Well-known member
Has anyone else ever felt like if they change certain things about there appearance that there SA would get better or you would feel it would at least ease it allot.

I have had SA since about the age of 7 but only actually found out what it was a few days ago up until now I was just labelled as shy or quiet, and ever since I was about 14 or 15 I feel like if I had a nose job it would make my sa better or even cure it.

I know now as im 24 this was very unrealistic and having a nose job would probably make me feel abit more confident but wouldn’t cure my SA, I have found through the years my SA has got so much better. I have even travelled to Brazil a couple of times on my own I thing I would of though impossible a few years back..

Anyway just wondering if anyone else had similar thoughts
 
scissorhands

scissorhands

Well-known member
I frequently try to change my appearance to make my SA go away but it never works. It's just another form of running away from your fear. You have to face it before it will go away, then you can make the physical changes, but the fear won't go away because of it.
I have tried so many things and I know the only way is to face the fear head on and do it frequently until it goes away, yet I still can't bring myself to do it.
 
stevelee24

stevelee24

Well-known member
changing your appearance is one thing but cosmetic surgery is another, have you ever considered it.

I often get told im handsome but i seem to be the only one who does not agree with that, and accually i find alot of sa sufferers are not ugly but above average looks but cant seem to belive it themselves.

strange indeed :?
 
Joey86

Joey86

Well-known member
I reckeon that if you change your appearance, it'll help with your social anxiety short term. You'll be 'distracted' by the change, and focus on that... but with the mindset of a social anxiety sufferer, and the negativity, I don't think it will be long before they start to find other things wrong with themselves.
 
rado31

rado31

Well-known member
We'll all get old and ugly....plus we will be boring if we are obssesed by ourselves
 
F

flake__

Well-known member
the trick to getting over ur SA is learning to accept yourself. if you got a nosejob or whatever you would have a permanent reminder that you weren't happy with yourself and weren't good enough as yourself.
 
Infected_Malignity

Infected_Malignity

Well-known member
Don't change your image - change your self image. It's all a mind trap, because in reality, nobody cares about your nose. Nobody cares about the way you dress (unless it's like, interfering with your line of work or something), and nobody cares about your SA. Nobody except for YOU.

That's why changing your image does nothing. That's such a negative approach. A better way of looking at it is to not necessarily change your self-image, but to change that level in which you respect yourself - which sometimes means changing your self image.

If you can win yourself over, if you can actually love yourself and respect yourself completely, your SA won't last very long afterward. You think you need the acceptance of others, but it's actually the true acceptance of yourself that you're longing for. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
I believe that changin ones appearance will not cure social phobia, because social phobia is a mental condition which comes from within; No matter how good looking a person is they can still suffer from it, you only need to look at the pictures of the people on this site to see that.
 
Johnnash

Johnnash

Active member
stevelee24 said:
Has anyone else ever felt like if they change certain things about there appearance that there SA would get better or you would feel it would at least ease it allot.

I have had SA since about the age of 7 but only actually found out what it was a few days ago up until now I was just labelled as shy or quiet, and ever since I was about 14 or 15 I feel like if I had a nose job it would make my sa better or even cure it.

I know now as im 24 this was very unrealistic and having a nose job would probably make me feel abit more confident but wouldn’t cure my SA, I have found through the years my SA has got so much better. I have even travelled to Brazil a couple of times on my own I thing I would of though impossible a few years back..

Anyway just wondering if anyone else had similar thoughts
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I've always thought of changing my face, wishing that my face gets destroyed in some kind of accident because I don't want people to recognize me. It's basically because I'm a buffoon and every one has made fun of me right since birth. I also want to change my name because it is so weird that no one can spell it right. I feel very inferior.
 
xtina_fan81

xtina_fan81

Well-known member
I dont think its the answer either.
I am actually comfortable with my appearance.Obv i have little things i dont like. but overall im ok with how i look.
i thank god that i didnt end up with anxities over that as well as the Social because then i would just be totally lost and itd make things10 times worse. i just think that at least thats something im comfortable with and it can only bea good thig if it leads to full acceptance on the inside as well. Lets hope it does someday.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
it would be so nice to be comfortable with my own self image... is there anything i am not insecure about?
 
dream

dream

Well-known member
Personally, My weight and skin has has always made me feel insecure.When i improved this, i had confidence and i was living as to just breathing.Through out the years i relized it wasn't my skin or weight that was bringing on my sad, i mean i had this mental disorder before and my weight and skin issues just triggerd it to progress more.When i got both issues undercontrol i could be around people go out live my life outdoors so i respected my self i took care of my self and was outgoing and happy i guess so yes i do believe for my self that how you look can have a positive or negative impact on how you see yourself and your life.My sad is back so im not happy with how i look and i have to change inorder to have control again and get help with sad too maybe if i would of got help with sad instead of being in denial that i didn't have a problem anymore i woulnt be in this mess i created.
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

Well-known member
people have called me pretty and even beautiful but when I look in the mirror I see an ugly, depressed person with dark eyes
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Kathryn said:
people have called me pretty and even beautiful but when I look in the mirror I see an ugly, depressed person with dark eyes
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Wow! I feel exactly the same. Especially the dark eyes and depressed face! Anxiety and depression makes me look very ugly.
 
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R

Rodney

Well-known member
I think changing my body shape would definetly help me with my SA. I am 6"1 and weigh 155lbs and you would think that anyone would be happy with this and not complain. The problem I have is that I can't wear the clothes I would like because none of them fit my body (bone structure) well. Clothes help to show off your personality and I know I would be quite fashionable if I had a nice body figure. I have to try on usually 3 different pairs of shirts and a couple of shorts every morning just to find something that I can feel somewhat comfortable wearing in public with out looking like a freak... Oh yeah and jeans with a t-shirt not even an option!!!! Even if I bulked up it wouldn't change the way clothes fit (sigh).
 
VioletTears

VioletTears

Well-known member
I think that to really get rid of SA you have to stop caring what other people think of you and start caring about what you think of yourself.

I have dyed my hair so many colors in an attempt to feel better about myself. More often than not it makes me feel more self conscious and worse about myself.
 
NormanBates

NormanBates

Well-known member
I remember in middle school I used to just wear whatever clothes my mom bought me. Then one day I decided to wear baggy pants and gel my hair back. That day I noticed more people talking to me. But it was too late I already hated everyone. lol
 
OutsideLookingIn

OutsideLookingIn

Member
VioletTears said:
I think that to really get rid of SA you have to stop caring what other people think of you and start caring about what you think of yourself.

I have dyed my hair so many colors in an attempt to feel better about myself. More often than not it makes me feel more self conscious and worse about myself.
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Seriously?, because if your avatar is a picture of you, then you are really pretty. I would love to have a girlfriend like you, but im too self concious to even think of approaching someone like that.
 
VioletTears

VioletTears

Well-known member
Awww, thanks:) I think that about a lot of people here and more than likely we are all just our own worst critics. I know that I’m way more critical of myself than I am of other people. I really pick myself apart and often worry that people are disgusted by me and on some level it probably isn’t logical, but I feel like I need to look like a model in order to be good enough. I get paranoid that people are picking out my flaws just as I am. I’m married now and my husband treats me well but at one time he used to treat me like crap and I put up with it because I felt nobody else would want me and I was so scared of being alone. I still struggle to feel worthy of him though. I think a lot of women struggle with this partly because (even though it might sound dumb) we grow up idolizing princesses and later celebrities and are given a pretty narrow definition of what it means to be “pretty” and are sort of conditioned to see that as mattering more than it really does…
 
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