Changing something about your appearance

Falcon

Well-known member
Well, I've been trying to feel better about myself lately, and become more self confident. As part of this, I am trying to look better (shallow I know but I think it may work). But I am sooo embarrassed to change something about my appearance, because I know it will mean other people will look at me. You know? The way I am now, I may have some idiosyncrasies, but at least people know them and so pay no attention to them. If I get my hair cut nicely, or change my clothes, people will pay attention to how I was before, and how I am now. Honestly it sounds so stupid to care about this but it's really causing me anxiety.

But then I'm a guy who didn't even get his eyes checked when I knew I was having trouble with them, for fear of having to get glasses. I finally got contacts this year and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. It has helped my confidence enormously.

Man I wish I had true self esteem and just didnt care. :?
 

jamez

Well-known member
It ain't shallow, you need to look the best you can. Keep going and Good luck with it 8)
 
I don't think anyone does have 'true self esteem' as you put it, even the most beautiful, confident people wear nice clothes and try to make themselves look good. I think maybe what makes them seem to not care about it, is it's very natural for them, they don't get paranoid that they look daft when they make changes ect. I have really low self esteem most of the time, and to make myself more confident I do buy face masks, nice clothes, make up, hair products (or shock horror some sexy new lingerie lol) ect lol, and it does give me a little boost.

I reckon self esteem comes from acceptance, not necessarily acceptance of what you look like when you're depressed, sitting in your oldest, most comfy clothes and slippers, with hair that hasn't seen a brush yet, but acceptance of trying to make yourself look good when you do feel like making an effort. It's all trial and error anyway, sometimes you'll look great, sometimes you might buy an outfit that doesn't suit you (darrrrling!!What are you wearing?!) :p doesn't matter, everyone is going through it to some extent, it's just worse for SA-ers cos we worry more about what others think.

Just my lil' pep talk for the day, now I just have to repeat it ten times to myself :roll:

Naomi x
 

munch

Member
I went through my teens not getting my hair cut through fear of drawing attention to myself (even though my hair was so horrible that people would look at me because of it anyway)

It wasn't until my early 20's that i took the plunge and had it all cut off into a short and funky style and it it was the best decision i have ever made.

Don't get me wrong, i still have a low opinion of the way i look but it did increase my confidence and made me feel better on the inside which to me is a big result :D
 
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deleteduser

Guest
I totally can relate to all of this. I never get my hair cut because i know that it would make people notice me in school, instead of just blending into the background. It makes me really sad because there is certain hairstyles or clothes that i want but i feel im not worthy of or something. :cry:
 

triceratops

Well-known member
I think most people with sa have low self esteem I know I do which is why I feel the need to look good all the time i think its an insecurity I have. Mine become a bit obsessive thou if im not wearing the right clothes or somethings not quite right ill get in a bad mood is anyone else like this...
 
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deleteduser

Guest
scyth said:
I think most people with sa have low self esteem I know I do which is why I feel the need to look good all the time i think its an insecurity I have. Mine become a bit obsessive thou if im not wearing the right clothes or somethings not quite right ill get in a bad mood is anyone else like this...

Yes, i know this sounds really shallow but if my hair is greasy i get really self conscious and in a bad mood :x
 

black_mamba

Well-known member
crazyfairyx said:
I reckon self esteem comes from acceptance, not necessarily acceptance of what you look like when you're depressed, sitting in your oldest, most comfy clothes and slippers, with hair that hasn't seen a brush yet, but acceptance of trying to make yourself look good when you do feel like making an effort.

Sounds pretty sound to me. But its cool because it works. Nothing shallow about it! If we make an attempt to dress smarter or dress in a way which makes us happy (i.e. not neccessarily smart or fashionable) we think we look better therefore feel better.

Falcon I know exactly what you mean. I want to start dressing nicely from day-to-day instead of wearing the most inconspicuous clean outfit I can find! But I always chicken out because I know I will get more attention that way, esp since I'm the only girl in my class, its kinda embarrassing to be the only one making an obvious effort to look nice. (This is not an attack on blokes btw, but most of the men on my campus come into lectures in their pjs! or what seems to be pjs) ...hmm.

What are we to do? I think I'll go dye my hair purple, that'll force the confidence back into me. 8O
 
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