I've been working a job that makes meeting people in real life impossible. It is one of the big reasons I want to quit the job I'm working. However that is a process... And I'm currently working on filling out some applications....
Ever since I got that job, I've had to rely on the Internet to fill in my need for people. My sex drive also drives me crazy, and that doesn't help because it clutters my mind when I want to talk with Women.
I'm kinda writing this post as a reflection of years gone bye. It was about 14 years ago I got my current job and my entire social life had to be switched over to the Internet.
When I first started out I felt "funny" and I could carry on with sarcastic humorous remarks etc. I even padded myself on the back for not getting too "sexual" in my conversations. But as years and years went by things became harder and harder. I realized that the Women I kept meeting online would never be close enough to me to actually date. In fact even talking with them over the phone felt like pulling teeth.
Now days I'm just a confused mess of hormones and depression. That's my excuse for why you don't see me trying anymore. Even when I do get a woman to talk to me a little bit. That's all it is anymore, is just a little bit. That connection I used to get in the old days just doesn't seem to happen anymore. My heart isn't in it like once was. I lost all hope. I mean I really have! I have tried to even make myself hope and I can't do it anymore.