Couples piss me off

sickgirl

sickgirl

Member
Everyone always thinks that they have to be with someone or they are nothing. Every show, and song these days is about love. My friends are all dating abusive assholes because they fear being alone. Isn't there more to life or is that all there is? I am just curious how all of you people spend your time, i mean when you have a social phobia you usually have alot of time to yourself. I like to paint, and sing and daydream about a world that could never exist. :?
 
Flax

Flax

Active member
One of my new years resolution was to quit giving a shit about getting a girlfriend. It's working. I am waiting and maybe it will happen, but if it doesn't then life goes on.
I agree that people worry about being with someone too often. Some just aren't cut out to be loners like us. I also paint and daydream. Imagination is the only thing that keeps me sane.
What do you like to paint sickgirl? I like painting thing from imagination. You'll never find me copying a photograph (I'm not dissing those who do I just feel like it's more work than fun).
 
gooby

gooby

Member
Hello sickgirl,

I think that having relationships is very important. Its part of the human condition to want to have intimacy. It is one thing about me that can really get me down if I think about it. I'd love to be in a relationship and have a someone special who could understand me and I could share my life with. I'd love to have someone to care for so I do think it is the most important thing in life.
I try to accept that it's very unlikely that I will ever be married, and sometimes I can almost accept it but sometimes it scares me. Especially when I know that one day my parents won't be around and then I will be totally alone - I'm very scared of that as they are the things that keep me sane. Well, maybe not sane but, you know, not completely screwed up anyway.
I have hours on my own, I like gardening and I am trying to learn to play the guitar and I love reading. I also go on-line quite a bit and yes I also spend a lot of time day-dreaming and fantasizing about a better life.

Just thought I'd let you know how I feel.

Take care,
Gooby
 
crashmodem

crashmodem

Well-known member
Feel the same way

I feel the same way as well too..

I don't know anyone around here, i don't know where i can meet people, somedays i like the solitude, sometimes i don't.

I feel that its not going to happen, i have just learned to accept it.
 
symbiosis

symbiosis

Active member
Hi there,

Gooby, I go through exactly the same thing as you re parents disappearing - I am a socially phobic only child with elderly parents and little other family - what a combination!! :)

I do have a lovely boyfriend, but am somewhat fearful of the distant future, most of the time I don't think about it, but sometimes I think too much and feel very unhappy (I find Christmas is getting harder each year re this).

What do you think a good way of coping with this issue is?? I have some friends, but would like more - if I picture myself in the future as orphaned, but with enough friends, that's okay, but otherwise......yuck.

Cheers, Helen
 
sickgirl

sickgirl

Member
Painting

I like to paint ugly things and make them beautiful, or paint beautiful things and make them ugly. I never finished a painting though i find it too hard to complete something that brings me joy.
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
I feel very similar to what most of you have posted.

I go through this cycle of yerning for someone to be close with, someone to be my friend other then family. Then I really don't care about having other people to talk with and am fine for awhile.

I daydream a lot too. I always have. And yes it is one of the things that keeps me sane. I like Sci-Fi so I day dream about things like that most of the time.

Even though I sometimes may imagine have a boyfriend and get a suden "wanting" for someone like that, I wake up or go out in the world and truely realize that I probably will never be married, or have childern. Most of the time I am okay with that, i just figured I would become that wierd aunt in the family that lives by herself! Funny, but not.

I mostly spend my time of the computer. I also like to draw or read. I surround myself with many pets, so they give me something to do, and they also provide company.
 
gooby

gooby

Member
Hello Helen (aka symbiosis),

Sorry its taken so long to reply to your posting but I have been away for Easter.

As for the best way of coping with my fears, I don't really have an answer. I am very lucky in that I am able to spend quite a bit of time with my parents and while I am with them I don't seem to worry as much as when I'm on my own.

I'm glad you have a nice boyfriend as that must be a great comfort to know that you will always have someone close who you can trust. I'm afraid I have never managed to form a relationship like that. You're right to say that having lots of friends can only be a good thing so if you can do that I should hold onto them.

I also find that by keeping busy, I can sort of keep my worries at bay. This can be hard at times and so I have to try very hard to avoid lethargy creeping in.

I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer but you can always e-mail me if you want to know anything else.

Take care
Gooby
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
acceptamce

hi just found this site and i think it is great. i live alone and have had social phobiia for 10 years. i sorta have learned to live this solitary life, but it seems by friends think i am waswting my life by no being more social they 8) just do not get it,this is a disease it is not a choice. i was always shy but this is something else of course. how do you deal with people that just do not get it. annmarie [email protected][/u][/i]
 
E

EvilFlyingCow

Well-known member
Yes there's more to life than being in a relationship, but being with someone special can really increase your happiness. In fact, I remember from a psychology class that I took in college that marriage is the #1 factor in personal happiness. Money and wealth are way down on the list.
To me it feels great to know that you're loved and to share intimate moments with someone you really care for.
I don't have any friends because of my social phobia, except for one, my girlfriend, but I am really grateful to have her because she's also my best friend.
 
Luke1993

Luke1993

Well-known member
hmm I wouldn't say they piss me off, it's not their fault they're trying to be happy! But I do envy them yes.
 
Lost Girl

Lost Girl

Well-known member
Of all the things in the world that there are to get pissed off about, it's couples that piss you off?! Two people minding their own business trying to make a life together?? That is ****ing absurd.
 
Silentknight

Silentknight

Well-known member
Lost Girl said:
Of all the things in the world that there are to get pissed off about, it's couples that piss you off?! Two people minding their own business trying to make a life together?? That is ****ing absurd.
Click to expand...

I don't think the OP meant "pissed off" as being angry at those people but more as as a hurtful jealousy for what they have and I for one completly understand that.

Just think would you be angry if everytime you saw a picture of a clown you felt alot of pain of course you would be mad at that clown it's natural and that's what many of us who have been alone for so long feel we get pain some like myself even more then others because by seeing that we are reminded of what we do not and in our mind (or at least mine) believe never will have, that special someone to hold when you feel like crying, or to cuddle up with to watch a movie (even if it's a chick flick lol) we envy that immensly and it hurts us.

Also at least in my case I get angry that many of these people in relationships take it for granted I think JD summed it up perfectly on Scrubs after getting tired of all his friends who were in relationships complain about that relationship when he said "Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!"
 
L

Liberty

Banned
sickgirl said:
Everyone always thinks that they have to be with someone or they are nothing. Every show, and song these days is about love. My friends are all dating abusive *******s because they fear being alone. Isn't there more to life or is that all there is? I am just curious how all of you people spend your time, i mean when you have a social phobia you usually have alot of time to yourself. I like to paint, and sing and daydream about a world that could never exist. :?
Click to expand...

Money and sex

Survival and reproduction

Survive and perpetuate the species, it's in our genetic code, it's your life's meaning biologically speaking. Depressing right? lol
 
DanFC

DanFC

Well-known member
Every single one of my (past) best friends is in/ has been in a committed relationship, and I've always, always been that awkward third wheel. It always pained me spending time with them, but it's not their fault, it's not anyone's "fault" in terms of the emotions. If a couple is happy, I'm happy for them. Of course, in the meantime I myself become ridiculously miserable, evidencing what's out of one's reach.
 
DanFC

DanFC

Well-known member
Liberty said:
Money and sex

Survival and reproduction

Survive and perpetuate the species, it's in our genetic code, it's your life's meaning biologically speaking. Depressing right? lol
Click to expand...

Why is that depressing? Even if we take that "very" simplistic point of view (not in terms of the ideas, but in your narrow scope of them), do we not nevertheless feel the emotion of joy and elation with a significant other?
 
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