Coworker with social anxiety. I want to help him!

I always felt misplaced, that I don't belong here, that I'm not normal for not beieng social and there is something wrong with me. I have social anxiety. But I'm not alone anymore...

There is someone at work, he looks very nervous and insecure. He don't talk to anyone. And not anyone talks to him. One of the leaders told me that he had worked there for 4 years! I'm shocked at how ignorant all the others are. They don't say hi to him, or don't seem to care at all. Atleast it would be nice if they said "hi" to him. It's like he's invisible to the others there.

have started to say hi to him. First time he didnt reply. Next time he did reply, but very careful and low.
I also say bye to him when he leaves. He always says bye back to me. On monday there where several people standing there, including one of the leaders. When he passed me I said bye to him and he responded. The others did not say anything.

We work together and do some deliveries. I find it very relaxing to sit in the car with him. When driving with others, they will expect me to talk, but with him I don't have to talk. And also he is the best driver in the world...

When we deliver he sometimes says a few words to me. He's voice is really dark, but he seems very nice. He seems to be very shy to talk to strangers, and sometimes he just stading there saying nothing when we are about to deliver and I have to do the talking part. It's not a problem for me though.

I really want to ask him to eat lunch with me one day. He never eats at the work place, but leaves during lunch. It would be so nice to see him in lunch. But I understand that it will be hard for him, eating with the others coworkers.
I always sits alone there, since I don't feel accepted. It would be nice to just sit with him. We don't have to talk. We could just sit together.
I'm not sure how to ask him to have lunch with him. I don't want to scare him. If I ask him, I might put him in a difficult situation, since he probaly wont eat lunch with me, but at the same time he can't say no. What do you think?

I also want to tell him that I like him, and thinks he is a nice person and doing a very good job. But my anxiety stops me...

You don't need to tell him you like him, you can just ask him randomly if he wants to grab some lunch after a delivery, or during a delivery.

xnn said:

I'm not sure how to ask him to have lunch with him. I don't want to scare him. If I ask him, I might put him in a difficult situation, since he probaly wont eat lunch with me, but at the same time he can't say no. What do you think?

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Ask him in a way where he doesn't have to respond with a yes or no, as this may make him feel trapped without a choice as saying no might seem offensive, so something like "I always have lunch alone, you're welcome to join me if you ever want to" keeps it as an open option for him

xnn said:

I also want to tell him that I like him, and thinks he is a nice person and doing a very good job. But my anxiety stops me...

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Tell him that you prefer driving with him and why

Keep your help to yourself unless your coworker asks for it.

Wow. 4 years and no one knows him that well. That's shocking. Something tells me he secretly hates working there due to all the people. I would've quit long ago if I were in his shoes. Anyways, I'd say go for it. There's nothing wrong with making friends with a coworkier

This person kind of describes my situation at work, tbh. But for me, there are too many people, I just don't know how to initiate saying 'hi' and 'bye' to most people. And my job is completely different to everyone else's, there is even a language barrier and I only work there 2 days a week. Anyway, no one knows me well, and I've worked for about 2.5 years. And now I'm looking for a way to get out of there completely by volunteering, looking for work and developing some more skills.

Anyway, keep up with what you're doing, it is actually very nice of you. It really just takes someone's 'hi' and 'bye' to liven up the day.

hi.do not give up just keep trying little things of contact with him.he will notice you as a friend just be paitent.its good that you notice someone a little different and want to know a little better .its really good