Curing SAD-How I Cured Brain Fog

Brain fog is pretty much the worst thing about SAD. Ever since I cured myself, I've been trying to describe to people as plainly as I can how they can to cure themselves. I have two other posts that both describe how I did it and how you can too.

Here's a link to my first...
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt22239.html
--This article tells about my SAD history and how I figured out how to cure my SAD

Here's a link to my second...
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt22430.html
--This article is more instructive about how others can cure their SAD. It tells some important things that I learned about SAD.

I think the second one is better since I hit it right on the head. But, here's what I figured out about the god dam Brain Fog...

For those of us for whom brain fog is not caused by a lack of energy or hypothyroidism, which is, believe it or not 99% of us, brain fog can be cured.

So, just what is brain fog REALLY?
--Brain fog is the result of the inability for us to live in the 1st person. When we see our actions and appearance through the eyes of others, what I call the '3rd person' persepective, our thought process immediately stops. We judge our appearance and behavior ad see which parts of us we don't like at that moment, then try to change them. We immidately fall into a depressive state as we have identified all of our negative aspects. The whole time while this is going on in the mind of the person with SAD, the people without SAD have a continuous thought process. This is because they do not see themselves through the eyes of others and therefore have an 'independent thought process.'

What does it feel like to have the 'independent thought process and how to I get it?

--To answer this, I'm going to quote one of my other articles. This article cuts to the core of SAD, which I recognized as the result of a cyclical paradox that we cannot escape...
--The question that has to be answered is this..."How does one become the person he wants to be and act the way he wants to act without thinking about the person he wants to be and the way he wants to act?"
--The answer is this... It's impossible. It can't be done. The answer is, don't try to be the person you want to be. Be yourself. If you then don't like who you are, you can change, but not without acquiring the independent thought process that results from the ability to be yourself and not view your actions and behavior in the 3rd person perspective of what others see.
--AKA STOP TRYING SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY TO CURE THE SAD. COMMITT TO WHAT I AM SAYING- TRY TO BE YOURSELF. THINK ON IT, FIND OUT WHAT I MEAN, AND LEARN TO BE ALL OF YOURSELF IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW, BUT REMEMBER THIS...BEING YOURSELF DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO NOT THINK IN THE 3RD PERSON ABOUT HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR, YOU WILL GET THAT INDEPENDENT THOUGHT PROCESS AND YOU WILL BE YOURSELF. EVENTUALLY, ALL YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL YOURSELF BEFORE SOCIAL SITUATIONS IS 'BE ALL OF YOURSELF.' AND ONCE YOU CAN THINK FOR YOURSELF, WHAT I JUST SAID WILL TAKE ON A NEW MEANING. COMMITT TO BEING YOURSELF!!!!

If you question what I just said in any way, such as "what if you are yourself but still don't like who you are," read my other articles and the answer will come.

PLEASE REPLY AND TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS...

wow! you just made it really simple I swear!
I took about 4 months of therapy and realized that you just said it all in a few post and more. Yesterday I took your advice and I stopped thinking in the third person and it work incredibly well. Mad props to you!

Thankyou .. thankyou .. thankyou .. you'll just put clearly the answer that has only recently started dawning on me ... 12 yrs wasted! ahh no matter!..

THANKYOU ..

plz make this sticky ..admins

You're so right!
I haven't realized this before. When I look back I have always thought in 3rd person.
I have heard several times from people as a child: "Just be yourself". I never understood how and thought it sounded too selfish I guess... and I had the focus on being one of the "cool" guys...
I'll take your advise, it makes very good sense!

did you use any techniques to stop yourself from looking at yourself in the 3rd person. did you do any activities do stop all the questioning thoughts to try to be more YOURSELF. I think this actually works, i have done this before then all of a sudden my thoughts keep coming back.

Well done, i could have never expressed it like you have. You're absolutely right i think and it's definitely a big step in curing SA. I've gone through the same sort of process and now all i tell myself is 'no fear' and i can pretty much think straight with other people around. I don't know where it goes from here, but i suppose eventually, through feedback from other people and my own realizations, i'll become aware of just who i really am and be able to improve on my qualities and get rid of my flaws and eventually be... who i was supposed to be lol ! I think i actually read one of your previous posts a while back and cured BF because of it, can't remember exactly though!

Should I do any exercises?

Birdman said:

did you use any techniques to stop yourself from looking at yourself in the 3rd person. did you do any activities do stop all the questioning thoughts to try to be more YOURSELF. I think this actually works, i have done this before then all of a sudden my thoughts keep coming back.

Click to expand...

No, not really. All I can say is you just need to think on what I've told you. Everyone needs to learn for themselves how to get the independent thought process that ends the brain fog. THere is no step by step process for this.

At first, I would try to focus myself externally and react to what was going on around me. THis didn't work because I still had to 'try' to be myself. Eventually, if you truly committ to just 'being yourself,' something will change in you. You will be eventually become relaxed and 'be yourself' will just click.

anxiousguy83 said:

You're so right!
I haven't realized this before. When I look back I have always thought in 3rd person.
I have heard several times from people as a child: "Just be yourself". I never understood how and thought it sounded too selfish I guess... and I had the focus on being one of the "cool" guys...
I'll take your advise, it makes very good sense!

Click to expand...

YES YES YES YES YOU GET IT!!!

gghhg

This post holds immense wisdom. It's really amazing how simple the solution is. All you have to do is change your focus.

NewPoster111 said:

--AKA STOP TRYING SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY TO CURE THE SAD. COMMITT TO WHAT I AM SAYING- TRY TO BE YOURSELF. THINK ON IT, FIND OUT WHAT I MEAN, AND LEARN TO BE ALL OF YOURSELF IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW, BUT REMEMBER THIS...BEING YOURSELF DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO NOT THINK IN THE 3RD PERSON ABOUT HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR, YOU WILL GET THAT INDEPENDENT THOUGHT PROCESS AND YOU WILL BE YOURSELF. EVENTUALLY, ALL YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL YOURSELF BEFORE SOCIAL SITUATIONS IS 'BE ALL OF YOURSELF.' AND ONCE YOU CAN THINK FOR YOURSELF, WHAT I JUST SAID WILL TAKE ON A NEW MEANING. COMMITT TO BEING YOURSELF!!!!

Click to expand...

That was me for about 5 years before I came to a similar realization. I would always try something new each day, I would try to act differently, desperately hoping my new behavior would fix everything, but I was still judging myself based on how I was being perceived by others. Forget that.

Find your center, be yourself, see through your own eyes, don't try to look at yourself through everyone else. Great post 10/10.

After going back and reading your other posts I am truly impressed with your passion and determination to get through to SA sufferers and help them overcome it.

I really hope that everyone takes the time to read his posts and really thinks about them. Don't just blow it off. This is the key. This is something I've come to realize but I haven't been able to word it so clearly and thoroughly as NewPoster111.

I get what he's saying and it's a good message, but it's harder done than said. The problem with telling someone to "be themselves" and "not worry about what others think" is that it doesn't exactly address why someone shouldn't worry about what others think - a major root of the problem. If this isn't explained, then people are going to remain entrenched in their comfort zone because they have a lifetime of reasons why they SHOULD worry about others think.

Again though. I don't regret reading the topic. It's a good message, and maybe it's effectiveness is high for previous extroverts, but I feel it's maybe not descriptive enough for heavy introverts.

But that's just my opinion.

As said before in this post, its great to have a topic to inspire people but I figured this is something which most people with SAD knew anyway..

The reason we're so nervous around others is because we're being so critical of ourselves, which is because we're trying to live a false persona and not being our true authentic self.

The hard part isn't understanding this concept you can find it in most self help books, its putting it into practise. Coming up with practical methods to alter your thoughts and beliefs into 'faking it' less and understanding and appreciating how magnificent a person you really are, is easier said than done.

Just my thoughts..

lime said:

Coming up with practical methods to alter your thoughts and beliefs into 'faking it' less and understanding and appreciating how magnificent a person you really are, is easier said than done.

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It's not even that. You could hate yourself and still be yourself. If you read all his posts he explains that. Please read all his posts, and I think you'll have a revelation, one of those "ah-HA!" moments. He's not just giving some cliche cheesy advice. He talks about defeating the 3rd person perspective. This might not solve all of your problems, but if you really read all his posts and understand them, a huge chunk of the problem will be gone.

SickJoke said:

lime said:

Coming up with practical methods to alter your thoughts and beliefs into 'faking it' less and understanding and appreciating how magnificent a person you really are, is easier said than done.

Click to expand...

It's not even that. You could hate yourself and still be yourself. If you read all his posts he explains that. Please read all his posts, and I think you'll have a revelation, one of those "ah-HA!" moments. He's not just giving some cliche cheesy advice. He talks about defeating the 3rd person perspective. This might not solve all of your problems, but if you really read all his posts and understand them, a huge chunk of the problem will be gone.

Click to expand...

I will keep re reading until the message hopefully sinks in!

But forgive my scepticism, does this now mean anyone with SA can be cured? how can it really be this simple?

lime said:

I will keep re reading until the message hopefully sinks in!

But forgive my scepticism, does this now mean anyone with SA can be cured? how can it really be this simple?

Click to expand...

SA can be overcome. No one can cure you; it's a matter of changing your own beliefs. Negative, self-defeating beliefs are the cause of SA. Beliefs are incredibly hard to change because they have so much emotion attached to them, but it can be done. NewPoster111 is sharing a method of changing your beliefs. It might seem hard to swallow, but read his posts with an open mind. Maybe those negative beliefs that you're clinging to (unintentionally) , which are causing SA, aren't true after all.

SickerJoke said:

lime said:

I will keep re reading until the message hopefully sinks in!

But forgive my scepticism, does this now mean anyone with SA can be cured? how can it really be this simple?

Click to expand...

SA can be overcome. No one can cure you; it's a matter of changing your own beliefs. Negative, self-defeating beliefs are the cause of SA. Beliefs are incredibly hard to change because they have so much emotion attached to them, but it can be done. NewPoster111 is sharing a method of changing your beliefs. It might seem hard to swallow, but read his posts with an open mind. Maybe those negative beliefs that you're clinging to (unintentionally) , which are causing SA, aren't true after all.

Click to expand...

Aye aye fair doos. I'm in the process of overcoming SA but my method seems more practical. Perhaps there is a link between em?

Every time I have a "thinking error" IE a negative thought about myself or my life, I write it out and pick it apart and rationalise it.
I've been doing this intensively for a few weeks and its becoming more habitual and automatic in my mind now.
I now sometimes catch myself rationalizing a negative destructive thought automatically. All this is in turn improving my mood, my thoughts and ultimately my beliefs which affect my behaviour.

I also keep a list of things which I know will improve my mood when I start to enter the dark spiral of depression, watching my favourite comedies, listening to uplifing music and visualising positive events in my life etc

lime said:

Every time I have a "thinking error" IE a negative thought about myself or my life, I write it out and pick it apart and rationalise it.
I've been doing this intensively for a few weeks and its becoming more habitual and automatic in my mind now.

Click to expand...

I do something like this too. And I found it to be the most permanent in "curing" SA. When you address the roots of the problem by debunking irrational thought, it's harder for these bad weeds (irrational thought) to grow back.

But there's a place for everything. NewPoster's method is a fine way if you're looking for a more direct exposure experience.

Newposter, your threads need to get sticky!

I cant wait to try this out at college.

And look, I cant wait to leave my house and get out there? The miracle has started already

I kinda under-estimated his information at first, but damn, this is the deepest quote I've ever read on this forum. EVER.

One more note. SAD is largely a disorder resulting from paradoxes. We try to be the person we want to be, but the only way to do this is to see ourself through a 3rd person perspective of how others see us. When we see ourselves in this perspective, SAD is caused. We question certain things about ourself and believe we have to change more and the cycle continues. The question becomes 'How do we become the person we want to be and act the way we want to act without thinking about becoming the person we want to be and the way we are acting?' THe answer is this- don't try to become the person you want to be. Don't worry about the way you are acting. Don't take life too seriously. DON'T TRY TO BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE!!! Try to be yourself and all will be well. Sounds weird right...try to be yourself. But, like I said, that's the first step."

Click to expand...

Deceptively simple but if there ever was a way to cure SAD with 1 paragraph, this would be it. Now I need to apply it.