NewPoster111
Active member
THE QUESTION- How does one become the person he wants to be and act the way he wants to act without thinking about the person he wants to be and the way he wants to act?
THE ANSWER- Its impossible. It can't be done. The answer is, don't try to be the person you want to be. Be yourself. If you then don't like who you are, you can change, but not without acquiring the independent thought process that results from the ability to be yourself and not view your actions and behavior in the 3rd person perspective of what others see. See how I cured my SAD at http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt22239.html.
Here's my basic system of cure if you're lazy and don't want to read how I developed it. But you really should read it. After writing this, I reread the process and thought about it in the perspective of someone who still has SAD and it didn't have as much of an impression as it should.
Find out how to be yourself. Find out how to act without thinking in the 3rd person perspective. YOu can't become the portrait of the person you want to be. WHen you do find out how to be yourself in social situations, you gain independent thought. THis keeps your thought process, which is the source of everything we say and do, from being STOPPED by our recognition of what others think. Being yourself is the first step. STOP trying something new everyday to become the person you want to be. Trying to be yourself is the first step. I had someone I'm helping now ask me, "what if you don't like the person you are, even when you are being yourself and not seeing your actions through the eyes of others?" Here is my response...
"yea i thought about that. Based on what I said to you, the goals to beat anxiety is to try to 'be yourself' and try to 'kill that 3rd person perspective' of seeing yourself through the eyes of others. If you do figure out what i mean by that and truly do not think in the 3rd person perspective and then don't like the way you act, the question that needs to be answered is 'what makes us act the way we do when we are not concerned with the way we are acting.' It is possible that we don't like the way we act, even when we don't care about what others think of us. Maybe we naturally don't have the desire to socialize, or maybe you just become a smartass towards people and when that perspecitve comes back, you realize it. Personally, I think the way we act is the result of our subconscious beliefs and values, along with some biological aspects such as our energy level, etc. But what you need to know and realize is this- being able to be yourself is the first step. You CAN change who you are, slowly. But you need to be able to be yourself before doing this. Being yourself is just the first step. If you don't like who you are then, you can think on what you don't like about yourself, why you act that way, and try to change. But trust me, you CANNOT try to become the portrait of the person you want to be. THis is IMPOSSIBLE. Trust me, I've been there. And once you finally do realize how to be yourself, the goal changes from 'be yourself' to maybe 'be happier,' or 'don't judge people,' or whatever it has to be that you want to change about yourself. The thing that you need to realize is that there is a way to beat SAD. But trying something new everyday won't do it. The first step is being yourself. Try to not think in the 3rd person of the way you're acting. And man once you do figure this out, you will start to see 'be yourself' in a new way. You're thought processes won't be affected by what you think others think, and this thought process is the thing that our behavior reacts to. It is the source of all that we say and do. So if you don't like who you are, don't worry. Keep trying to be yourself, then if you truly believe you can be yourself in social situations and not worry about what others think, try to change one think about yourself.
One more note. SAD is largely a disorder resulting from paradoxes. We try to be the person we want to be, but the only way to do this is to see ourself through a 3rd person perspective of how others see us. When we see ourselves in this perspective, SAD is caused. We question certain things about ourself and believe we have to change more and the cycle continues. The question becomes 'How do we become the person we want to be and act the way we want to act without thinking about becoming the person we want to be and the way we are acting?' THe answer is this- don't try to become the person you want to be. Don't worry about the way you are acting. Don't take life too seriously. DON'T TRY TO BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE!!! Try to be yourself and all will be well. Sounds weird right...try to be yourself. But, like I said, that's the first step."
PLEASE REPLY AND TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS...
THE ANSWER- Its impossible. It can't be done. The answer is, don't try to be the person you want to be. Be yourself. If you then don't like who you are, you can change, but not without acquiring the independent thought process that results from the ability to be yourself and not view your actions and behavior in the 3rd person perspective of what others see. See how I cured my SAD at http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt22239.html.
Here's my basic system of cure if you're lazy and don't want to read how I developed it. But you really should read it. After writing this, I reread the process and thought about it in the perspective of someone who still has SAD and it didn't have as much of an impression as it should.
Find out how to be yourself. Find out how to act without thinking in the 3rd person perspective. YOu can't become the portrait of the person you want to be. WHen you do find out how to be yourself in social situations, you gain independent thought. THis keeps your thought process, which is the source of everything we say and do, from being STOPPED by our recognition of what others think. Being yourself is the first step. STOP trying something new everyday to become the person you want to be. Trying to be yourself is the first step. I had someone I'm helping now ask me, "what if you don't like the person you are, even when you are being yourself and not seeing your actions through the eyes of others?" Here is my response...
"yea i thought about that. Based on what I said to you, the goals to beat anxiety is to try to 'be yourself' and try to 'kill that 3rd person perspective' of seeing yourself through the eyes of others. If you do figure out what i mean by that and truly do not think in the 3rd person perspective and then don't like the way you act, the question that needs to be answered is 'what makes us act the way we do when we are not concerned with the way we are acting.' It is possible that we don't like the way we act, even when we don't care about what others think of us. Maybe we naturally don't have the desire to socialize, or maybe you just become a smartass towards people and when that perspecitve comes back, you realize it. Personally, I think the way we act is the result of our subconscious beliefs and values, along with some biological aspects such as our energy level, etc. But what you need to know and realize is this- being able to be yourself is the first step. You CAN change who you are, slowly. But you need to be able to be yourself before doing this. Being yourself is just the first step. If you don't like who you are then, you can think on what you don't like about yourself, why you act that way, and try to change. But trust me, you CANNOT try to become the portrait of the person you want to be. THis is IMPOSSIBLE. Trust me, I've been there. And once you finally do realize how to be yourself, the goal changes from 'be yourself' to maybe 'be happier,' or 'don't judge people,' or whatever it has to be that you want to change about yourself. The thing that you need to realize is that there is a way to beat SAD. But trying something new everyday won't do it. The first step is being yourself. Try to not think in the 3rd person of the way you're acting. And man once you do figure this out, you will start to see 'be yourself' in a new way. You're thought processes won't be affected by what you think others think, and this thought process is the thing that our behavior reacts to. It is the source of all that we say and do. So if you don't like who you are, don't worry. Keep trying to be yourself, then if you truly believe you can be yourself in social situations and not worry about what others think, try to change one think about yourself.
One more note. SAD is largely a disorder resulting from paradoxes. We try to be the person we want to be, but the only way to do this is to see ourself through a 3rd person perspective of how others see us. When we see ourselves in this perspective, SAD is caused. We question certain things about ourself and believe we have to change more and the cycle continues. The question becomes 'How do we become the person we want to be and act the way we want to act without thinking about becoming the person we want to be and the way we are acting?' THe answer is this- don't try to become the person you want to be. Don't worry about the way you are acting. Don't take life too seriously. DON'T TRY TO BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE!!! Try to be yourself and all will be well. Sounds weird right...try to be yourself. But, like I said, that's the first step."
PLEASE REPLY AND TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS...
