Dating someone that has slept with a friend?

redski

redski

1
I saw a movie (Funny People) and it got me thinking.

If you were interested in a girl but did not make a move.
Later on you find out your friend has invited her over
to his place. Nothing happens between them.
You make your move and ask her out. She accepts.
One day you go over to your friends house he is in his bathrobe
and she comes out of the toilet. They have slept together.

How would you react?
Would you still be able to date that person?
This question goes to all, gay, straight ...

I think I know how I would feel but I am not to sure how
I would react to the situation.
 
Last edited:
G

gio289

1
Nope, definitely wudnt ask her out again. I prolly wudnt hav messed with her in the first place, but if i did, and i saw her coming from my friends bathroom, me and him wud prolly just laugh at how much of a skeezr she is. Then move on to the next
 
lithium

lithium

Well-known member
I would be straight-up pissed. My initial reaction would be like, "what the f-u-c-k". Then I would just leave. It would tremendously awkward. And I would cease communication from then on.
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
No, absolutely not. Because in my case, I don't ask someone out unless I want to get serious with them. I don't really do casual dating, I'd only date if I thought there was a very good chance of developing a long-term relationship. My friends know this so if that situation were to ever happen, I would start questioning my relations with my so-called friend. Situations like that get too messy and dramatic for my taste. I'd probably also lose respect for the person I was trying to date; I wouldn't fault them for not taking their feelings as seriously as I take mine, but I'd wonder "What kind of idiot does this without thinking of the possible repercussions of everyone involved?" To put it bluntly, I wouldn't want to continue dating someone that stupid and selfish.
 
Last edited:
TurboCarGirl

TurboCarGirl

Member
i actually took interest in a guy my now ex best friend dated...after they broke up..but it was still weird cause i knew all about there sex life...cause my best friend at the time shared that info with me before i even really got to know the guy..needless to say he went back to her and slept with her again while we was talking..so i never went down that road again so to say...
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
dizziple said:
Wow.. You really jump to conclusions very easily miss harleyq
Click to expand...

...if my friend knew that I had strong feelings for someone and then slept with him, I'd question that friendship. To me, that's betrayal. It shows disregard for others emotions. The same goes for sleeping with 2 friends while agreeing to date one and then not telling the one you've agreed to date that you're going to sleep with his/her friend...it's wreckless and a complete disregard for the feelings of everyone involved. I think it's inconsiderate, at the least. The only reason I could see that would be excusable, is if my friend convinced this person that I would be ok with them sleeping together. Feel free to elaborate on why you view it as jumping to conclusions because with all due respect, I don't see how that situation could be anything but selfish unless my friend didn't know I had feelings for the person, but as I've stated, that wouldn't be the case, speaking personally.
 
redski

redski

1
Harleyq said:
No, absolutely not. Because in my case, I don't ask someone out unless I want to get serious with them. I don't really do casual dating, I'd only date if I thought there was a very good chance of developing a long-term relationship...
Click to expand...
What if your friend knew you liked her a little but he never knew that you
really liked her a lot. The girl knows who you are but is not sure what she
thinks of you.

Again goes for all, gay, straight...
 
N

Nack

Banned
If the world was filled with people like us, there will be less idiots running around... Anyway to answer your question. Personal I will totally do this :D Meow
 
Last edited:
redski

redski

1
Serafina said:
Okay, I know you're probably asking Harley but I thought I'd put in my two cents here as well. ::p:
...
Click to expand...
Serafina, your posts are always welcome. I quoted HarelyQ but anybody can answer.

I think I am too loyal. If I was that guy, the friend that is, I could not do it.
If I knew a friend of mine had some interest in a women but wasn't to sure
and I was madly in love with this girl I think I would ask and tell my friend
first before I made any move.
This is such a simpleton caveman line but as a guy I try to follow it:
"Bros before hoes" :)

I have been on the other end. The guy in my question. I would like
to think that my friend never took it that far but to this day I am
not sure. Needless to say I do not really keep in touch with him anymore.
 
redski

redski

1
Serafina said:
That is admirable of you, Red. Loyal people/friends are not always that easy to find. It's unfortunate that your friend lost your friendship. Unfortunately, people are imperfect and shit happens.
Click to expand...
Honestly it's more of a curse. I'm sure I would be far more experienced with
women if I wasn't such a "nice guy".

If a women I am dealing with tells me she has a boyfriend then that is end
of story for me. You want to be with me or date me then no strings attached.
I follow what I preach of course.

However, life works differently. ::(:
 
Luke1993

Luke1993

Well-known member
I'd laugh and say "Oh c'mon couldn't you have just WAITED till we had sex first?" :D

Then I'd go home and cry.
 
redski

redski

1
Serafina said:
Being loyal isn't going to keep you from getting a girlfriend or a date. When you say "nice guy" what do you mean? Loyalty is a good trait to have not a curse...
Click to expand...
Well, I meant "nice guy" as in "doing the right thing".
I should have just used "doing the right thing" instead.

Honestly I cannot understand why people need to do such things.
I had a friend once who was so proud of himself that he stole
a girl from a friend of his.
Sort of like "Haha I took her from you, therefore I am better (more handsome, better skilled with women etc...)".
I was thinking to myself "Well this is a train wreck waiting to happen"

When she dumped him, he was all angry calling her a bitch and a whore etc...
That is when I told him: "Listen man, she dumped/left another guy for you.
Why wouldn't you think she would do the same to you?".
He gave me one of those 1000 mile gazes, it had never crossed his mind.

Internally I thought to myself "Man, what a chump-douche"
Yes, I was being judgmental. :)
 
redski

redski

1
Serafina said:
Point taken. You don't have to divulge anything you don't want. :)
Click to expand...
:)

My point was, I cannot really give you a decent example of what
you asked considering a women I was interested in because I am
sure I am fully or partly to blame for it not working.

However, I can give you examples of women that I am pretty
sure were interested in me but I did not feel the same.

To keep it short, in my mind, distancing myself from a women I know
is interested when the feelings are not mutual is to me
"doing the right thing" because I do not want to string some poor women along.
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
redski said:
What if your friend knew you liked her a little but he never knew that you
really liked her a lot. The girl knows who you are but is not sure what she
thinks of you.

Again goes for all, gay, straight...
Click to expand...

I would still be hurt, IMO. Admittedly, when it comes to relationships, I'm very serious about it and sleeping with your friend's crush is just a big NO in my book - you just don't do it. And if this friend knows I asked someone out on a date (which is definitely something I would share with my friends), then I don't see how they wouldn't know I liked the person a lot. I've seen friends flirt with another friend's crush and it hurt the friend with the crush. I've also seen it happen in my own relationship. I just don't think it's worth it. I wouldn't really fault the girl for not having shared emotions, as I've said before, but I just couldn't date someone who would date one friend and sleep with another and not think about consequences. Maybe I was harsh to describe it as stupid and selfish because I was speaking from personal experiences, but it still wouldn't be right to me and I would still think it was inconsiderate. I couldn't be with someone who didn't share my overall morals when it comes to things like that. Even moreso, I couldn't be with someone I knew had been intimate with a friend. I couldn't ever get that image out of my head.
 
Last edited:
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
redski said:
I would say you have strong morals. I think that is an attractive feature.
Click to expand...

Thank you, I was afraid that my posts here were going to make me come off as nuts...like the kind of girl who likes a guy/girl and then starts stalking and becoming crazy-jealous and controlling when we're not even together, lol. It's not that - I don't hold people to a contract or anything once I get my foot in the door for a first date. I just want to go for people whose intentions are similar to mine. If we don't work out, that's fine, but I don't want to waste my time going after someone who isn't looking for a committed relationship when I am.
 
redski

redski

1
Harleyq said:
Thank you, I was afraid that my posts here were going to make me come off as nuts...like the kind of girl who likes a guy/girl and ...
Click to expand...
That is the impression you gave me.
I am more of "Better too serious than not serious at all" :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top