Death: Becoming nonexistant?

Sometimes after a long day of work I lay awake in my bed in the darkness and think about how f'd up and disgustingly ordinary the cycle of life is. I can't believe so many human beings are forced to stifle themselves so completely just so they can maintain a job to "survive." A job that might not pay well and that they might hate.

You go to school, get a job, work until retirement (if you can afford it) and then you start the impending countdown to death. It doesn't seem that fulfilling at all to me.

When I think of this I can't imagine why I'd want to conform to the societal norm of having kids when it is possibly forcing them to live that same life. This with no guarantee of anything afterward.

This stream of consciousness leads to thinking about death. Life is short, and you never can know how short. What happens after? No one has proof. It scares me to think that it is a return to nonexistence. I don't remember anything before I was born (anything from early childhood really) so I am forced to assume that death will be like what was before my birth. Nothing.

It is so hard to grasp this idea. How can my consciousness and being just stop? What a cruel fate to be brought into existence against your will and forced to careen uncontrollably towards the end. (Mind you, whilst dealing with what for some is the horror of being alive at all.)

I find it hard to keep quiet about this. It is like you aren't supposed to bring this sort of thing up. You can't tell your parents you think they are selfish for bringing you into this. You can't rage against society for neatly regulating your life's activities until you die.

I'd like to separate my consciousness from my body so I know that I can really exist outside of it. I don't think I'd ever go back. I feel so limited. It would not matter if I reached the heights of what a human can achieve if it is all for nothing.

What also scares me is that the same thing awaits the people I love. I can't believe the people I have such strong feelings for cannot be protected from this inevitable thing looming over all our heads.

This all makes me so unhappy.

/end rambling

It makes me feel better when I think about stuff like how I get to wake up next morning and get to have a cup of hot chocolate and maybe I'll take a walk outside and then watch a movie or something.

Scrabbl said:

It makes me feel better when I think about stuff like how I get to wake up next morning and get to have a cup of hot chocolate and maybe I'll take a walk outside and then watch a movie or something.

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I usually deal with things via escapism. Movies, books, anime and video games. All a pleasant distraction from reality.

Yeah sometimes I think about when I have a job or getting a job and then it's like when I have one I am a zombie, I go to work, sleep, wake up and repeat. Get yelled at at work, feel like crap all day and do the same thing tommorow. And live check to check stressed out. I know life is more than that but sometimes it seems like a bit much lol.

I'm failing my college courses because I keep having this "idea". I mean after i finish college, what am i suppose to do? Find a job and start making money... Okay? so making money will make me happy? Okay...NOT! Its all bull really, this is why i'm so confuse.

The thing about raging against society norms is that they'll look down upon you. Most would labeled you as mentally ill or what not. And if to the extreme, you'll be put into a crazy house. Life is basically following rules... or you suffer greatly.

"Long before we know ourselves,
Our paths are already set in stone.
Some may never figure out their purpose in life,
And some will.
There are a lot of us who are caught up in this hell we all live in,
Content with being blinded by rules and judgment.
We live in a world where it's more okay to follow than to lead.
In this world being a leader is trouble for the system we are all accustomed to.
Being a leader in this day and age is being a threat." - Common

Shakespeare knew everything...

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing." -Macbeth

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' brow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing." - As You Like It

awesome post!! its really interesting. i think of it this way. i dont remember tuesday. at all, i dont have the greatest memory, but tuesday did happen and i did exist on tuesday (i think).
i think the same thing about the time before memories start sometime in infancy and even before birth. just cause i dont remember it doesnt mean i didnt exist.
im going to have to think more about it though
and thats an awesome quote by shakespeare. its ironic the character he had say that was kind of dense, jack right? the guy who wanted to be like touchstone? am i remembering it right?

i completely agree with a lot that you say up there. theres not a day that goes by where i dont wish for a "no thank you" option on being a member of society. its like you have to play this rediculous game when life is so short, and no one even remembers who wrote the rules.

Yeah!! I agree with your thoughts about life in this way exactly.
Its like theres many things we don't want to do that parents and people would say is just part of life, in order, to get money to survive or whatver, and troubles we face, but yet we never asked for it haha. However I suppose life could become more enjoyable if you get to a position where youre doing something you want to do, or if you learn to not let anything outside you effect your inward state.
But yeah many people say your consciousness doesn't die, and is infinate, and its only your body that dies. There are many intersting accounts of out of body experiences after death, before coming back to life. Some people say these are caused by the brain, but I don't know.

Lorraine Manca said:

i dont remember tuesday. at all, i dont have the greatest memory, but tuesday did happen and i did exist on tuesday (i think)

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i will need to remember that next time i drink a bottle of rum::

You must read Bhagavad gita As It Is ..There are many editions,but, you should read the most bona fide by: A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ..This book saved my life. It explains IN DETAIL the answers to all of your questions. Start with chapter two..Chapter one is an introduction with lots of names. Good Luck.

hidingfromtheworld said:

You must read Bhagavad gita As It Is ..There are many editions,but, you should read the most bona fide by: A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ..This book saved my life. It explains IN DETAIL the answers to all of your questions. Start with chapter two..Chapter one is an introduction with lots of names. Good Luck.

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whoa! i was reminded of that text too! are you hindu?

Your fears have been well versed by many others throughout our time as humans all fear the ever lasting unknown infinity of the great beyond. We may never know what lies beyond our dying breath. We may find nothing but non-existence. Yet if such a fate is the case, then the least you can do is to live in a moral and principle upholding life in this realm, yes? Even if death awaits you, you can say that in your life you lived well. You upheld your beliefs and kept true to your principles. Nothing is more satisfying than that and if you live according to them, your life should most likely end well. I understand your trepidation to facing a black fate, but you should not abandon all hope for you still have your life here. You say that living this life shall have no meaning if it is for naught? I shall disagree. For in this life if you can influence your friends, family, people you know and meet, bring them to a higher level of empathy and intelligence, then even if you die, your legacy shall be passed on, your actions shall live forever, your thoughts shall have helped many. To me, living a life based on your own true morality and principles is the best possible life one could live. However this is merely my opinion, you are entitled to your own.

I do have a sense of morality and appreciation for the beauty in the world. I just often ponder the possibilities that there is no purpose and that someday it might be gone, for everyone even.

I think about the vastness of space too. Wonder how far it goes in all directions and if it is infinite because if there is an end what exists outside of the end? Another separate space? These things must exist, but to what end? Its fascinating and humbling. If only I could know now.

Pookah said:

I do have a sense of morality and appreciation for the beauty in the world. I just often ponder the possibilities that there is no purpose and that someday it might be gone, for everyone even.

I think about the vastness of space too. Wonder how far it goes in all directions and if it is infinite because if there is an end what exists outside of the end? Another separate space? These things must exist, but to what end? Its fascinating and humbling. If only I could know now.

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If you knew, the answers would drive you beyond the brink of insanity. It is better that we not know the meanings of the higher planes above our existence.

life is what you make of it,no one else is responsible for you having a shitty job or life,the purpose is to make something out of it instead of thinking how unfair it is.

doesit said:

life is what you make of it,no one else is responsible for you having a shitty job or life,the purpose is to make something out of it instead of thinking how unfair it is.

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That's all fine but it is a cop-out. Should we be satisfied with that?

Well said mr. black and agreed.

I feel like we're all just game pieces. We play ourselves, get played and to "fit in" we must know how to play others? Oh well.
One of the only things keeping me going is wanting to see the end of the world. lol. I'm demented but really thats what were all waiting for: TheEnd

Pookah said:

I do have a sense of morality and appreciation for the beauty in the world. I just often ponder the possibilities that there is no purpose and that someday it might be gone, for everyone even.

I think about the vastness of space too. Wonder how far it goes in all directions and if it is infinite because if there is an end what exists outside of the end? Another separate space? These things must exist, but to what end? Its fascinating and humbling. If only I could know now.

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I've often boggled my brain thinking about things like space, time, life, death, etc., and to be honest, the idea of infinity scares me because I can't wrap my brain around the idea of something just "existing" without a beginning and an end. I like the idea of an afterlife, but when I try to think about it lasting "forever," it almost makes me sick to my stomach, and my mind forces me to think of something else.

Pookah said:

Its fascinating and humbling. If only I could know now.

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"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."

Francis Bacon