Delaying child support paperwork

lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
So, I have been divorced for 7 years. About 6 years ago, I went to court to get child support (with the help of a lawyer paid for by someone else). My ex started making more money last year (though I don't know how much), and I was going to apply to increase child support. All the paperwork is daunting. I am worried about filling it out wrong, and I basically just want to turn it in and have everything taken care of from there. My ex quit (or got fired) from the first job he had last year, so I delayed applying for higher child support. I still haven't done it, and he just informed me that he is looking for another job, so I'm afraid that even if I do turn in the paperwork soon, he may not have a job (even if only briefly) when the case goes to court, so I might have to turn around and do the whole thing over again soon.
I know I shouldn't procrastinate on this, especially since I could really use the money. My ex argued in court the first time we went in for child support, stating that he thought the amount was too high, so one reason I am hesitant is because I don't want him to draw it out or make things more difficult (we are civil, but he can be a volatile person).
I am also very nervous about asking for help--I can't really afford a lawyer, and I get anxious about talking to people about sensitive subjects.
Any thoughts? Do you delay doing things that would be beneficial in the long run, but very uncomfortable temporarily?
 
R

RegalSin

Well-known member
In marriage you need a middle mangeement. Not money money money. There has to be a family member ( like a crazy brother of his, or feminist sister of his, or even mother-in-law, or father-in-law to step in between. Even your father or mother ). Your both going to grow old one day and your children might resent you and drop you off at the eldery persons home.

My advice is to make friends with a family member of his. Just to keep in touch. Make friends. Even see how far you could associate with them.

If you and him can't get along and your not appreciating him. I would side with him. However if he just steps in and throws a fist at you or scares you without being playful then I would side with you. I mean there are all kinds of relationships.

Otherwise you want to put his behind on the line and gamble. Then go right ahead and call for child-support. I would just request for him to send money. Some men are losers ( not like yours but like my father ). He thinks my mothers father/grandma is going to raise me. He could careless about me living in debt, or joining the military as a cheap slave.
When his mother died he just went about his business and proclaiming her death as if it was nothing. He enjoys the poor attitude.

Again I would just get back together with the man and whatever he needs or wants from you I would give it to him. Seriously it can not be that terrible. Did he a foreign object against you? Did he use a weapon? One hit or two does not mean anything. You can still make things work out.

Do not listen to the lesbian-womanist-gang or the feminists who wants to tear apart peoples relationship.There is always a way and always time to heal and mend.

Another reason to associate with your husband is to find out if he is telling the truth or not or if this is some plan to leave the country. A woman I knew had two kids from this man and flew to another nation, and was never seen again by his family.
 
lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
Mush said:
Do you have anything like Citizen's Advice where you are?
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We have something called Legal Aid, which I think is similar. The problem with that is you have to apply, and I have a feeling I would have to go more than once, which, with my schedule (two jobs and school) may be difficult. Plus, with my anxiety, it would be hard to return. Once would be difficult enough.
 
lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
RegalSin said:
In marriage you need a middle mangeement. Not money money money. There has to be a family member ( like a crazy brother of his, or feminist sister of his, or even mother-in-law, or father-in-law to step in between. Even your father or mother ). Your both going to grow old one day and your children might resent you and drop you off at the eldery persons home.

My advice is to make friends with a family member of his. Just to keep in touch. Make friends. Even see how far you could associate with them.

If you and him can't get along and your not appreciating him. I would side with him. However if he just steps in and throws a fist at you or scares you without being playful then I would side with you. I mean there are all kinds of relationships.

Otherwise you want to put his behind on the line and gamble. Then go right ahead and call for child-support. I would just request for him to send money. Some men are losers ( not like yours but like my father ). He thinks my mothers father/grandma is going to raise me. He could careless about me living in debt, or joining the military as a cheap slave.
When his mother died he just went about his business and proclaiming her death as if it was nothing. He enjoys the poor attitude.

Again I would just get back together with the man and whatever he needs or wants from you I would give it to him. Seriously it can not be that terrible. Did he a foreign object against you? Did he use a weapon? One hit or two does not mean anything. You can still make things work out.

Do not listen to the lesbian-womanist-gang or the feminists who wants to tear apart peoples relationship.There is always a way and always time to heal and mend.

Another reason to associate with your husband is to find out if he is telling the truth or not or if this is some plan to leave the country. A woman I knew had two kids from this man and flew to another nation, and was never seen again by his family.
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I'm not sure what most of this has to do with my original post, or even what the message of your post is, except that I should get back together with my ex-husband. For the record, in response to your post:
-I am on good terms with his family (better than he is, in fact, since he hasn't spoken to them in about years because they didn't take his side over mine).
-I'm sorry about your father. It sounds as though you do not have a good relationship with him, but I don't know why you are comparing my ex to him.
-Not that you asked, but the only reason I married my ex is because he raped and impregnated me, then continued to rape me (almost daily--sometimes multiple times a day) for the next two years. We are most definitely not getting back together. We have also both moved on--he is even remarried, so that's yet another reason we will never be married to each other again.
I would gladly forego child support if I were guaranteed to have my ex out of mine and my son's lives, but as long as he is in it, he should take some responsibility, instead of me not only raising our son, but financially supporting him almost completely on my own. My ex enjoys not having to deal with a kid on a daily basis, and I think only uses my son to show off how smart his kid is and attempt to take credit for it. He also seems to like having a fairly easy financial life, since he pays very little for child support, which is why I fear he will make it difficult if I request more.
Frankly, I'm just concerned that I may never get up the nerve to turn in the paperwork. If I actually do turn it in, whatever the court decides will be what we have to abide by. I have used an online estimator to try to figure out how much he might be responsible for, but I don't really get to decide an amount. There is some formula for that based on both parents' incomes and payment of insurance and child care.
 
A

AnotherWings

Member
Child support is one of these things that are just so difficult to get right. My uncle is going through that right now, having to file child support against his ex-wife, and every step of the way there are complications. He had a big win in court, "I can't afford 200/week" Judge: "the law is the law. 200/wk" But then in reality.....he's getting random amounts like $62 on week, $80 another week. And the department of child support in our county has just been so unhelpful in explaining what's going on.

How do you know your ex is making more money now? That seems like something he wouldn't want to tell you.
 
lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
AnotherWings said:
Child support is one of these things that are just so difficult to get right. My uncle is going through that right now, having to file child support against his ex-wife, and every step of the way there are complications. He had a big win in court, "I can't afford 200/week" Judge: "the law is the law. 200/wk" But then in reality.....he's getting random amounts like $62 on week, $80 another week. And the department of child support in our county has just been so unhelpful in explaining what's going on.

How do you know your ex is making more money now? That seems like something he wouldn't want to tell you.
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He had been working part-time and now has a full-time job. He has also told me recently that he plans on changing jobs. I don't know his actual income, but given that the position he is in now and the ones he is applying for require more education than the job he had when child support was first established, I am pretty confident that he has had an increase in income since then.
 
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