Depressed because you're single?

A friend

Well-known member
That doesn't explain the massive amount of failures that several men have in most of their lifetimes.

How would one achieve the path if it weren't impossible? There are many people that have changed themselves, the way they live, the jobs they have (etc), and they still failed miserably.

And you say it's possible?
 

coyote

Well-known member
it doesn't always have to be "THE ONE"

sometimes there's more than one

or it doesn't always work out

that doesn't mean you shouldn't try again

i fall in love several times a day, personally
 

MrJones

Well-known member
That doesn't explain the massive amount of failures that several men have in most of their lifetimes.

How would one achieve the path if it weren't impossible? There are many people that have changed themselves, the way they live, the jobs they have (etc), and they still failed miserably.

And you say it's possible?
I don't know the path, I'm still not there, but I don't think it's enough reason to give up. Fail after fail, but maybe after the next fail there's a win. I still have hope.

What else do you suggest? What should we do?
 

A friend

Well-known member
We should not set our core ambition in life to be based entirely off of emotions. Though most of the time, all people really want is to feel good, but they see multiple paths to achieve this, and multiple roads to different levels of happiness.

Being single is not a curse that the devil burns into our bodies, it allows us to set up the way we want our lives to be. Depending on others for happiness is naive, and very unwise.

My suggestion: Do NOT do the same thing over and over. That is the core definition of insanity. The way I see it, if you try to gain something millions of times (in a practical sense) and fail on every single occasion, you will definitely not achieve it

So why not make your life about something else? Why not try to gain the other things that make you feel good?

I am more than well aware of the fact that loneliness does not magically erode or fade instantly. I know that some people can never get rid of the need to have the woman/man of their dreams, but that can't be changed for people who have experienced this much failure.

The need for compainionship might always be in somebody's soul, but that shouldn't be what life is about. That should not be the best thing in life, because some people never find it, not even if they pray to the god they worship.

So why not find something else? Why not look for another thing that makes you happy?

There are a few users on this forum who are single and perfectly happy, and that just proves that being single isn't the key to misery.
 

coyote

Well-known member
So why not find something else? Why not look for another thing that makes you happy?

There are a few users on this forum who are single and perfectly happy, and that just proves that being single isn't the key to misery.

i agree

but if all the relationships a particular person is in fail - you have to ask what the common thread is - THAT person

what is that person doing wrong in the way they relate to other people

it doesn't mean that the idea of relationships itself is flawed - just the person who is trying to have one

you need to fix what's broken

e.g. - if a jerk stops approaching women because they all reject him, it doesn't mean he's not a jerk anymore - it just makes him a repressed jerk

better that he figures out why he's being a jerk and correct himself, and then maybe have the relationship he's always wanted

(i'm not saying YOU're a jerk - just using an example)
 

megalon

Well-known member
The problem is not that I try and fail, it's that I can't try.
Actually, this is somewhat of a revelation I just had.
It's not that girls don't give me a chance, I don't allow myself the chance.
 
Last edited:

MrJones

Well-known member
lol I was not saying that people should be obsessed with getting a partner ::p:

You're right, people should be able to find happiness somewhere else, but I think that if you want something you can't give up just because you have failed before. You don't need someone else to be happy, you can make yourself happy (and I'm not saying it refering to THAT :p). There a lot of things in life where you can find joy. But a lot of people (I'm not saying you, because I don't know your situation lol) surrender way too quickly, and not just in this, I mean about everything in life. And I think it's not the way to be.

If you want something, go for it.

If you don't, well, don't do it, there are other things in this life.


The problem is not that I try and fail, it's that I can't try.
Actually, this is somewhat of a revelation I just had.
It's not that girls don't give me a chance, I don't allow myself the chance.
Ugh, I'm in there too.

I guess that the "If you want something, go for it" I said before it's easier said than done.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
Ugh, I'm in there too.

I guess that the "If you want something, go for it" I said before it's easier said than done.

I learned you also gotta know what to say and how to say it when you do try. I got myself in the dog house with a girl a few weeks ago because I said the wrong thing and it upset her. She seemed interested but I opened my big mouth and shot it to hell lol.
 

MrJones

Well-known member
I learned you also gotta know what to say and how to say it when you do try. I got myself in the dog house with a girl a few weeks ago because I said the wrong thing and it upset her. She seemed interested but I opened my big mouth and shot it to hell lol.
Step by step. First I need to try, then I'll realise that I have to say things too :D

But yeah, I'm afraid that this will happen to me too, when I'm nervous I start saying stupid things... so don't worry, I'll share my failures XD
 

Quiet Angel

Well-known member
Yeah...

I have several dating opportunities but I'm not confident enough to pursue a romantic relationship. Social phobia holds me back entirely. Prevents me from living the life I desire. In relationships, I'm socially terrified to face their parents. It's extremely hard for some reason. I'll probably remain single forever but that's okay. :) At least I have friends.
 
I wish I had someone to hold in my arms sometimes. But then again I can't aproche anyone without stumbling so it's never gonna happen
 

upndwn

Well-known member
Hi, welcome to the forums Phantasystar4 :)

I'm terribly lovesick at the moment and it's constantly on my mind, even keeping me awake. I really miss someone to wake up with each morning.
 

A friend

Well-known member
Yeah...

I have several dating opportunities but I'm not confident enough to pursue a romantic relationship. Social phobia holds me back entirely. Prevents me from living the life I desire. In relationships, I'm socially terrified to face their parents. It's extremely hard for some reason. I'll probably remain single forever but that's okay. :) At least I have friends.

If only more people had that capability...

You DON'T NEED A Boyfriend To Feel Good! - YouTube

I'm sort of hypocrite for posting this video because I really do want a boyfriend and feel miserable being single but this made me laugh hard enough to sprout a six pack ::p:
Love this guy!!


Men/women should not need a boyfriend/girlfriend to achieve happiness, but unfortunately, that's the only thing that makes some people happy.



Being single is the least of my worries.

Though you worked hard to attain this feeling, the fact that you had the ability to achieve something like this is a gift (in my opinion). It is something I truly envy.


I'm terribly lovesick at the moment and it's constantly on my mind, even keeping me awake. I really miss someone to wake up with each morning.

I hope you feel better, there is no known cure for that kind of ailment (or, at least I don't know how to cure it).
 

upndwn

Well-known member
Originally Posted by upndwn

I'm terribly lovesick at the moment and it's constantly on my mind, even keeping me awake. I really miss someone to wake up with each morning.

Originally Posted by A friend

I hope you feel better, there is no known cure for that kind of ailment (or, at least I don't know how to cure it).

The only cure is love, and as we all know, that can be hard to find. ;)

I'm alright now, these feelings come and go, but I still wish I had someone.
 
Top