Depressed because you're single?

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
RolloTomasi said:
Hell no. I love being single. I can do anything I want, any time I want, for as long as I want. I eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, in bed if I so desire.

I don't have the drama of a relationship or the demands of a marriage. My time and my money are my own. I bought another guitar last week. Spent $1400 on it. Didn't really need it since I already own 16 other guitars. It played well and I wanted it. Didn't have to ask anyone if "we" can afford it or listen to anyone say "But you already have so many."

Now I think I'll have some crackers. That's right, in bed. Crumbs everywhere. It shall be glorious.
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Awesome! I've done this all my life. I am tired of it. Each his own and each their own time.

However - I definitely also kinda want to get a "REAL" relationship finally overwith just experience it. Only a few "dates" and nothing ever more kinda weighs on the mind, being single. I don't expect to find happiness by being not single suddenly, that I know lol.
 
Shant

Shant

Well-known member
Not really, but more or less, I'm depressed because I don't care if I'm single. I don't really believe in love, since I don't know what it feels like. I don't know what I'm missing, so I can't really fantasize about it much.

Plus at this age when everyone else is thinking about sex (and despite being a male, I hate sex for reasons I'm sorting out now), it just makes me more avoidant to other people.

I'm not depressed because I'm single, but the fact I'm not depressed about it doesn't quite seem right, which in itself is... why I'm depressed, I guess.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
RolloTomasi said:
Hell no. I love being single. I can do anything I want, any time I want, for as long as I want. I eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, in bed if I so desire.

I don't have the drama of a relationship or the demands of a marriage. My time and my money are my own. I bought another guitar last week. Spent $1400 on it. Didn't really need it since I already own 16 other guitars. It played well and I wanted it. Didn't have to ask anyone if "we" can afford it or listen to anyone say "But you already have so many."

Now I think I'll have some crackers. That's right, in bed. Crumbs everywhere. It shall be glorious.
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Me too. I love my idependence. I go on my running adventures anytime I want. I have money to spend on all the things I want when I want to. There's no arguement over the remote control on the TV. I can be messy and not worry about what anyone thinks. I don't need to share my life with anyone, it's fine as it is.
 
RolloTomasi

RolloTomasi

Active member
Kiwong said:
Me too. I love my idependence. I go on my running adventures anytime I want. I have money to spend on all the things I want when I want to. There's no arguement over the remote control on the TV. I can be messy and not worry about what anyone thinks. I don't need to share my life with anyone, it's fine as it is.
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Exactly. Plus, peace and quiet. Can't overstate how awesome silence is.
 
ILovePocky

ILovePocky

Well-known member
Sometimes when I'm having a bad day it does really get to me. The fact that I've never even been on a date, and that guys tend to avoid me.


Ah well, at least I have my cat. xD
 
layeazy

layeazy

Active member
It does atm the more i think about it. My mate use to have a problem lol with a guy with a hot chick and i use to explain to him that hes probably a great bloke that probably worked hard to get her lol.

Now i have that problem lol and i gotta keep telling myself that being single is ok and fun and i dont have someone to care for or keep tabs of me all the time lifes more relaxed and i find i get more done.
 
S

shyness123

Member
HeadFace said:
Does anyone ever get depressed just thinking about how you're single? Or just start getting in a sad mood just for thinking of your ex? Or who they're with?
To be honest, I do. A lot. I know I should be patient. And people have told me I don't need a girlfriend to be happy. But it makes me sad, thinking about how much I feel like I've just been used and thrown around, by the people I've dated.
Especially my last one... Ewghh.
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It is depressing for me, I really liked the last man I dated, we talked for 3 years and dated, it was a long distance relationship. He hung up on me when he realized that I wasn't going to accept not knowing where he lived even though I was his girlfriend. When there is no trust in the relationship, it is time to leave. But I do miss him because he used to call me regularly. It gets lonely when no one calls to see how I am doing.
 
HeadFace

HeadFace

Well-known member
shyness123 said:
It is depressing for me, I really liked the last man I dated, we talked for 3 years and dated, it was a long distance relationship. He hung up on me when he realized that I wasn't going to accept not knowing where he lived even though I was his girlfriend. When there is no trust in the relationship, it is time to leave. But I do miss him because he used to call me regularly. It gets lonely when no one calls to see how I am doing.
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3 years? And you didnt even know his location?
Man, that takes guts, to be honest. I could never stand that long without even knowing WHERE they are. I've been in two online/long distant relationships but...
They were those ugly "cutesy wootsy" teen relationships. So... You can tell where that went.
 
HeadFace

HeadFace

Well-known member
tigerlilja said:
I'm honestly not upset about being single, I'm 20 and have been my whole life. I've never been on a date or kissed a guy either. Perhaps the reason why I'm not upset about it is because I've never gotten a taste of what a relationship is like only to have it end...
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Yup. Consider yourself lucky. When you do meet that someone, make sure they're just as ready as you are, and make sure their perfect for you.
 
popolala

popolala

1
erm well i sometime feel this way, but i havent for a while.. i think i am fine being single.. i get depressed if i have a crush and i think about how lacking i am, i start to get very low-self esteem, and that makes me depressed thinking im not good enough.

but now i am over it.. finally..

hopefully i start loving myself more by improving who i am.. so i wont think about relationship.. until im mentally stable.

i never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy.. i have confessed to a guy before and was rejected.. how brave! :p

basically, if i dont love myself, i cannot believe someone else would love me .. unless they not honest hearted.
 
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Tykira

Member
I don't think it's the being single that's depressing, it's the can't-get-over-that-person mood that's depressing.

To be honest, I'm still having trouble NOT getting overly jealous of an old friend who someone else might have a better connection than I had. I'm glad that I'm not obsessed about her anymore, but the thought of someone else having her heart and the better friendship and/or relationship just kills me inside. But I knew eventually it will happen one day and I can't stop it. So now I'm here pouring my heart and thought out on this site, hoping to find the solace I'm looking for.
 
thomas90

thomas90

Well-known member
This is a big issue for me at the moment, i have been in a few relationships in the space for 1 year then it suddenly just stopped. I dont try like i used to because i hate such social situations - tbh i dont know how i managed before. Before the space of a year where i had been in a few relationships, i had never kissed a girl whats so ever which made me believe that i would never find someone.

I have a Social Phobia found from my psychiatrist & I find that being vain and changing your hair style, dress & leaving the house as often as u can to do the simplest easiest things helps you develop into a more sociable person. Simple situations like going to the gym or going to tescos has got me where im at today where girls actually notice me.

Btw theres this girl from the library who clearly checked us out the last time and she practically beside me right now :D i doubt ill say anything though ... :( Not my type from what i can see but who am i to judge ? Only thing that matters is who the person is inside and not on the exterior. Physical attraction is important too tho.
 
nonsuch

nonsuch

Member
I think we are designed to be together. This stuff that permeates the media about how we have to be 100% happy as hell ALLLLLL by ourselves is just crap. Study after study shows that people live longer, are happier, healthier when they have a S.O.

I seem to attract women with APD, and (duh) I have SA...(even though I have worked in the media, am a musician, performer)...currently still torn to shreds over an ex who tore me to shreds with muliple breakups...(3 times over 5 years)...courage, patience, hang in there.
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
I've been single since Christmas and it's been alright up til now. It's given me some time to reflect and get myself organized, though lately I'm getting the occasional feeling that I'd like to meet a girl again, just to be close/intimate with. No rush though, and I certainly won't become depressed if it doesn't happen anytime soon.
 
TaylorSwift'sHubby

TaylorSwift'sHubby

Active member
Sinar_Matahari said:
Being in a relationship is not always the best thing. Companionship is nice to have. I won't deny that. Still, I'd rather be single than in a ****ty relationship. Not saying that all relationships are going to be bad, but there are bad days in all relationships. How can a person cope with those if they can't even cope with bad days when they're single? It's unlikely that a person can be in a healthy relationship if they don't have their own head straight. My advice is to stop thinking about your exes, stop thinking about how sad you are for not having a girlfriend, stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop making yourself out to be a victim. If you were in relationships where you were taken advantage of or mistreated, be happy that you are no longer in that situation. Instead, think about the positive lessons you can extract from those experiences. There must be something positive you've learned. You can't change the past, look to make the best of the present so you can grow for your future.
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Agreed! I think it's an isue of loving oneself enough before attempting be close to others. It all starts with u
 
megalon

megalon

Well-known member
Lately I've noticed that tears will start forming in my eyes and occasionally rolling down when I'm browsing the online dating sites. It's pathetic.
 
JamesSmith

JamesSmith

Well-known member
Being single is something that should be celebrated. Freedom is a beautiful thing. I always get to do what I want and get to keep all my money.
 
Simmy

Simmy

Active member
JamesSmith said:
Being single is something that should be celebrated. Freedom is a beautiful thing. I always get to do what I want and get to keep all my money.
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I guess that is a nice positive spin on it... =]

OP - Yeah I do think about my ex a fair bit and it usually gets me down yes, I dont think being single in particular gets me down quite as much, more so just the fact that I feel I blew it, kind of

Meh.
 
megalon

megalon

Well-known member
I don't like when people tell me I'm not missing anything and I'm better off staying single. That's easy for them to say if they know what that kind of love is like, but I don't. If what they say is true, I still want to find that out for myself.
 
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